Welcome back, my poppets! I hope Spring pause was good to and for you, and that, for the brief moment in time, you were able to relax your mind and channel your energies into having some well-deserved "you" time. I tried to do the same, but alas--it was not to be. Darn dogs. In any case, we are back on track now and hopefully you are rested and revived enough to take on what has "affectionately" been named DEATH MONTH. Opening day for this annual holiday is different from year to year--this year, it's April 10, 2012. We hit the ground running and we don't stop until that AP exam is bruised and bleeding and begging for mercy after you have all stomped all over it and p@wned the sweet bejeebies out of it.
So, during my time off, I had some rare opportunities of solitude, which translated to me going back into our blog and re-reading all of your previous posts. I find it amazing that this blog offers such insight into the various personalities, and more so that I can learn a great deal about each of you both from what you say, and lots of times, what you don't say--or even what you almost-but-not-quite don't say. That coupled with the gale-force winds of yesterday and how they were able to transform my yard from a sweet and neat little haven to a ransacked train-wreck IN AN INSTANT began me thinking....and you know what that means.
Reading over previous postings and thinking about what I know about each of you individually offered me a rare glimpse into a collective psyche.
Most, if not all, of you have two fundamental fears: 1, the idea of change and/or 2, the possibility of making the "wrong" choice.
Now, I know that there are plenty of people who will tell me that the idea of change, especially if it includes a change of scenery from sunny Mays Landing/Mullica/Laureldale to just about anywhere else would be welcomed with open arms and a huge, block-lettered sign. But, despite the wanderlust or pre-"senioritis" that you have all felt creeping in on you, you have to admit that, at its core, change is a scary proposition. After all, the intrinsic nature of change is that of the unknown, the unchartered, the unfamiliar and the unrevealed.
So, if you are one of the restless souls who yearns for change--what is it about it that is so appealing to you? What do you hope the changes you want to seek out, to undergo or to witness will mean for you, your future, your life? On the other hand, if you are one who double locks the door when change comes a-knockin', tell me what it is about the prospect of it that fightens you. What do you think might happen?
We're not done...oh no...onward...
Now, one of Change's many dance partners is Choice. Right/wrong, smart/stupid, bad/ good..choice exists and you are confronted with the notion of it every single day. Sometimes, these are choices of epic proportions--break-up or stay together; cut class to get that paper done or suck it up and take a zero; confront the back-stabbing friend or let it go; get high just this once or walk away never knowing; and sometimes it can be as inconsequential as chicken patty or PB&J. Either way, your mind has a process it undergoes when you have to make a choice. Tell me about it. Do your weigh all your options and consider possible outcomes, or do you dive in and hope the water isn't too cold? I think I am mix-metaphoring myself into a corner here--but I know you know what I mean. When you are confronted with a choice--how do you make it? And, more importantly, why? A lot to think about, I know...but, you asked for it! :)
I cannot live without change. More specifically, I cannot live without variability. Change is what makes life interesting. Without change, we’d be stuck in a mundane world of repetition. When we undergo change, and experience more than what we are familiar with, we grow. Not in terms of height, but we expand our maturity and spirituality; we open up our minds. In the next few years I will leave behind all that is familiar to embark on a journey taking me through a strange wilderness of unknown. I’m hoping that through this total change, I will be able to transform myself into the person I can only dream of in my imagination. Free from the ordinary, in the surroundings of change, people have the ability to mould their own future and life. That is why I yearn for change.
ReplyDeleteSometimes we have to make choices between two good things, sometimes between two bad things. Many times, we must decide on something that has both negative and positive results. All of these choices can be equally difficult to make. There are two criteria I make note of when I’m making a choice; long-term results/implication, and experience. Many times, a choice has short term results that are inversely related to it’s long term results. Here’s an example. Drinking is positive in the short-term, but negative in the long-term. People much too often make decisions based on the short-term results, ignoring the long-term consequences. An opposite example is studying. Studying is negative in the short-term, but largely positive in the long-term. Weighing the short-term and long-term implications to a decision is hard, but vital. I never forget to think in the long-term. The next aspect I think about when making a decision is experience. This connects back to change. A decision that will cause change, or new experiences, is very valuable and carries weight in my thought process.
To sum it up, I make choices that will bring change within my life, but I also take special note of long-term consequences. For me, this guide has allowed me to balance taking risks, but also being safe at the same time. Choices are a scary thing to make, but to avoid them destroys our free-will. One last piece of advice I follow when making a decision, is to go all in. Decisions are easy to regret the second we make them, and can lead to unnecessary stress. When I make a choice, I go all in. If it turns out to be a bad one, I retreat, but at least I know I’m in control. I’d rather go through life making wrong choices than making no choices at all.
The world is an extensive maze overflowing with different cultures and ideas. The fact that there is 7 billion plus people in this world is mind-blowing. There are billions, BILLIONS, of people that I have never met, and probably will never meet. This fact alone is what makes change so appealing to me.
ReplyDeleteOne of the things that I have come to notice about myself is that I constantly need new people in my life. I’ll admit it; I get sick of people easily. I’ve gone through so many relationships it makes my head spin. After a while, I’m over them, their personality, everything about them just makes me feel icky. Combine this with my neglectful attitude and it’s no reason my relationships fail. I just hate the thought of being surrounded by the same people forever. And it’s been forever. Out of the billions of people in the world, I’ve been in contact with the same individuals. We’ve been grouped together since freaking elementary school! I don’t mean to sound mean or harsh or rude, but I need new people. I am counting down the days until June 2013. Until Fall 2013 when I can surround myself with individuals I’ve never met, hear their life experiences, and be able to open my mind to the vast and diverse world we live in.
With this change, I hope to blossom. I feel stifled in Oakcrest. There is nothing diverse about our school, no unique cultures to learn about, no different traditions I can be exposed to, no languages I’ve never heard of, and that’s one thing that bothers me. I want to experience those things, I want to come into contact with individuals from nations I can’t locate on a map. It’s something that’s always intrigued me.
I’m an option-weigher. I am not impetuous in anyway. I like to keep my feet, and head, on the ground. Never will you find me with my head in the clouds. Everything I do is bound to have gone through a rigorous process analysis, cause and effect, pros and cons list course in my head. I like to think of myself as a structured individual. I like to follow directions and I always always always have a plan. My reason for doing this is because I need control. It’s weird however, that I’m so open and willing to experience new things, and yet I always need control over my life. When I don’t have control, or I don’t have a plan, needless to say I freak out a little bit. I make spreadsheets for what I want to accomplish in my life, and the allotted time I have to accomplish those goals; I make itineraries for my family whenever we go on vacation; I have strategically and meticulously planned my life to follow a particular path. I am always deciding and choosing what is best for me, both long-term and short-term.
The thing, however, about my choices is that I never take into account how they affect other people. Another downfall of mine, or perhaps advantage to my personality. I will never make choices around someone else. I’m selfish, I guess you could say, because I am only concerned with myself and my life. I could care less what anybody else has to do with their life. You want to go do heroine and get high every weekend, be my guest. Chances are I’ll tell you my opinion on your behaviors, but I won’t stop you. I am not your mommy or daddy, and I will not stop you from making bad choices. In fact, I may even encourage you, because maybe then you’ll realize how much of a blubbering idiot you are.
Well, my blog just took an unexpected turn. Anyways back on topic, when it boils down to it, once graduation comes and college starts I’ll be out of here, taking on change with unabashed enthusiasm, and weighing my choices carefully as I go.
I enjoyed your whole fourth paragraph, and I enjoy it just as much when you say it in person, because i agree. However i dont think that because you feel that way about other peoples decisions that you necessarily make choices without considering others.
DeleteSo, I love how we share the same sentiments on change yet the ways we make choice are on opposite ends of the spectrum. I like to act quickly and focus a lot of my decisions around others, and you like to take a long time and to focus on yourself. I'm not saying that's wrong in any which way though. People like me need to be friends with people like you because you add structure to our lives and we add variation in your's. Trust me though, once you get out to college you will get to see the world from a completely different perspective. I've gotten to taste a tiny bit of what the world has out there from time to time. Rooming with a kid from Argentina for 10 days was one of my favorite experiences. I think you'd be surprised of what you can find in Mays Landing though!
DeleteI would say that I am slightly afraid of change. I look at the people in my family, 9 out of 10 times they are drug addict,
ReplyDeleteor in jail. That's not the life that I want to lead. That's not the life that I do lead. Hopefully that's not the life I will lead. I take great pride in myself knowing that I am the only person, except one third cousin, to be enrolled in AP classes.
I take pride in knowing that I do not use drugs or have sex. The same cannot be said for the people I was raised around. Now, my parents did their best to protect my sister and me from the attrocities that my kin has committed, but that was pretty much impossible. Both of my parent dropped out of school when they were juniors, that's my current age. That's scary. Part of my not falling into the traps of life is because of my urge of change.
If anybody tells you that I want anything but the best for me, they're lying through their teeth. Where people I know shy away from change I run towards it. Take college for exaple. My sister did maybe one simester at ACCC and that's about it, granted she works, but still. She is afraid of change. I have heard her say many times before that she enjoys her life. The problem with that is she lives like she is still in high school. She recently got a job. Okay. She doesn't pay her credit card bill or cell phone bill my parents do. She also ives on my couch. Personally, I would go crazy if I were a full grown adult living on my mom and dad'd sofa. I can't wait to get out. To have my own life and make my own mistakes is kind of exciting. That's not to
say that I am not afraid of change. I am. Everytime that life throws one of its curveballs, I get thissick feeling in the pit of my stomach, like I am loosing control. Every time I swollow my pride and...well here we are. Actually, since freshman year I have changed so much that people probably
wouldn't recognize me. My beliefs have changed and I am happy about that.
This is all tied into my decision making. I would say that I am both impulsive and cautious. I tend to be impulsive when it comes to my family. I drop what I am doing, cut school and
do whatever else is necessary to make sure that my family is taken care of. That being said, I think about my consequences completely. I know what the results of my actions can create.
I stay aware of my absences and work missed. If I don't do work, then I don't do it. I try to complete it by the time it's do and if not I take full responsibility. There is no way in Hell
that I would cut class or school because I didn't finish an essay. That's just.... really... lazy I suppose.
When decisions have to be made I try to make them to the best of my ability. In other words,whatever seems best at the time. If I don't have a lot of money, then I am not going to buy
a six hundred dollar television. I try to use common sense and peer into the near future to see what will come of my decisions. My beliefs are strong. If a question of morality or something of the sort comes into play, my beliefs play a huge roll in that. Drugs, sex, dropping out of school, walking in the middle
of a high way, driving: I look at what I stand for and look at what could be done or precieved from my actions. I hope that I can cope with the decisions that I will make and that I will be open to change, no matter how big!
George: I agree that life would be boring without change. I look at how much I have changed over the years and how much I have stayed the same. There are still parts of me that like rolling around in my pajamas on Saturday mornings, but I don't play with earthworms, if you know what I'm saying. Change needs to happen. It's taking change and making it a 'good' thing that's key.
ReplyDeleteMimi: We have had many conversations about leaving New Jersey. I also need people. Personally, if I like you stick around otherwise get away from me, I can find someone more interesting to spend my time with. I might seem quite in class, but that's because I am listening. I LOVE talking; ask my mom. Anyways part of being social and talking to people is have people to talk to. That requires you to meet people. Meeting people often requires change: change of scenery, change of clothes, change in music taste, just change in general.
ReplyDeleteChange is a strange subject for me, because my opinion on it varies based on the premise. I can love the onset of change – new perspectives intrigue me and new experiences excite me. I frequently change the placement of my furniture in my room because I get bored with sameness. My taste in music changes by the seasons because it reflects my growth and maturity, also my emotions and feelings at the time. I enjoy the various tremors in my schedule; something different to stir up the normalcy. These are the changes that create a balanced imbalance in my life. And as paradoxically inane that notion sounds, it’s true. I can’t live within the confines of two straight lines because I just consider such a routine existence to be boring and valueless.
ReplyDeleteOn the other hand, change can absolutely be intimidating and frightening. I don’t like the idea of changing friendships and relationships. I’ve grown in and out of so many friendships. I’ve lost people that I swore I never would. Amazing people have casually walked in and out of my life through a revolving door of time that I couldn’t hold on to. Temporary friends, flings, close acquaintances. So many people who I once held dear are gone and I see them all as looming shadows. I know all these losses didn’t happen on the same day, but their existence makes me fear the future – only because I know that it is inevitable to lose the ones you love. I can cry at the thought of being distanced from any of my best friends because that is an aspect of change that I’m not comfortable with. Although I guess I have to be.
And I’m obviously not one to whine over relationship problems but I guess the most relevant event to this topic is how my boyfriend of two years just broke up with me last week. Okay well I was responsible for part of the breakup but that’s beside the point. In my heart and in my head, my resistance and love for change were clashing. Part of me wanted to stay in the comfort zone that I had wallowed in for so long, and part of me wanted to be free, just to find out how I liked it. I gave in to my free spirited urges because It became a realization that if I didn’t, I would never know. I would never know what I could be missing. So far, I shot for the sky and I’m stuck on the ground.
Now my style for decision making is a much more complex system. I am an incredibly indecisive being. It is one of my most irritating attributes. I do not know how to articulate how I feel 99.7% of the time. I’m an enigma in my own mind. Do I want chocolate or strawberry? Do I want to go see a movie or go bowling? Should I break up with my boyfriend or deal with the trapped sensation that I’ve been feeling for the sake of my own comfort? Most of the time, I act upon impulse. Because when I really start to weigh my options, I become anxious and stressed, rushed and overwhelmed. My heart races and I can’t think straight. It’s pathetic, really. But I like to believe that my impulsive decisions come from a place in my soul that truly wanted to opt in that direction. I can realistically see the positives and negatives in any two-sided option, and that is what truly muddles and confuses my process of decision-making.
You have one of the strongest voices of someone that I've ever read. It probably has something to do with how strong of a speaker you are, but I can just imagine you speaking this even though it's quite clearly a blog response. Overall, I agree with everything you said, except for the boyfriend thing, haven't really experienced that...
DeleteOk, you got me. I’ve written a lot this year about how much I crave change, about how I was born with a thirst for revolution coursing through my veins, about how much the concept of future excites me, and how I just can’t wait for it all to unfold. But here’s the truth: when it comes time to think about the rapidly approaching changes in my life—I mean REALLY think, in a more realistic mindset that isn’t obstructed by my nearly constant idealism—I’m scared shitless. I already love my life. Especially lately. I’m proud of the choices I’ve made thus far, and I’m even proud of who I am as a whole (which is quite an accomplishment for me). That’s why there’s such a significant part of me that doesn’t want things to change. When you’ve reached a peak of satisfaction in your life, it’s hard to imagine finding happiness anywhere else. And even if you know there’s more out there, why risk losing what you’ve already got, just to chase a mere possibility?
ReplyDeleteI don’t usually talk like this. I don’t usually admit to letting fear impede my quest for total liberation. But I’m aiming for honesty here. And honestly, each time I say I love change, each time I speak with shining eyes about the endless miles I’ll eventually travel and the endless mind-opening experiences I’ll have with the endless colorful people I’ll meet along the way, my heart’s not completely in it. Fear holds me hostage. Because as much as I want to go to college in California, or in Fiji, or on Venus, I’m not so sure I could handle such a massive life change. I have a family history of extreme anxiety and a personal history of social disorders, so there's even more reason to fear new environments with new people. I want change. I do. I want to stimulate my brain with new scenery and new food, experiencing all that I can out of life. And I’m eager to spend the remainder of my dwindling existence soaking it all in, and willing to battle anything or anyone that attempts to hold me back. But when the greatest battle I’ll ever fight is with myself, I'll need a lot more ammunition before I can victoriously accept those inevitable life changes.
Ahh, choices. Finally something I’m good at. At least I think I am. I generally judge the choices in my life by two criteria: the necessity to make them at the time, and the fallout. By those standards, I’ve only ever made one truly awful decision, one that still haunts the present, but I’ll save that story for a rainy day. I like being in control of my own life, my own destiny. In fact, I NEED that control, lest I suffocate. That’s why choices are my best friend. Much like change, they spark a twinge of fear within me, but this is a much less menacing fear. I believe in trusting oneself—trusting oneself more than anyone else. The best decisions are made from within our own hearts and minds, untethered to the random opinions of others. I’m not analytical. I don’t think through every possible outcome of a decision before making it, but I have a marvelously strong instinct. I try to make my decisions with the right side of my brain, since my intuition seldom leads me astray, whereas individual thoughts are often clouded by fear of failure or fear of judgment. I’m better at making long-term decisions than I am at making short-term decisions because long-term decisions require more insight (an ability I can grasp) and less on-the-spot snap judgments (an ability I lack immensely).
But we shouldn’t be so afraid of failure, especially when it comes to the small stuff. As long as you continue to grow and strengthen from the inside out, you’ll be able to eventually smooth out the mistakes worth smoothing out, and everything will fall into place. And if not…just remember: every bad choice is a good story.
Change. That's funny, I've been thinking about it so much lately, especially over Spring Break.
ReplyDeleteSo in the sixth grade my father hit me and my sisters with a huge bomb, we're moving. That's probably the first major change I went through in my life. Moving is a major change for anyone and I wasn't prepared for it as a preteen. I was young (well, younger than I am now), I thought my life was coming to an end, and after a week I got over it. So for the next three years I lived in Newfield, a small little town near Buena and Vineland. For anyone who has not lived in Buena or heard stories, it's a big party area. And Newfield is no different.
I was twelve the first time I was offered a ciggarette (I declined). I was thirteen the first time I was offered weed (I accepted). And I was thirteen the first time I was offered alcohol (I accepted). I guess those would be considered bad choices, but it depends on who you ask. For the activities I accepted I continued them for the next couple years I lived in Newfield, not frequently but occasionally. Then, one day Kayla and I came home to an empty house, with an exception to the moving boxes layed across the living room. Without a warning, we picked up and left, almost as quickly as we came. And I was back in Mays Landing in the same two bedroom condo I lived in like three or so years prior. This move was worse though. Now I was fifteen, with a boyfriend, a million best friends, just more of a teenage girl. At the time, I never thought I was going to recover, but now I see it was the greatest change in my life.
Everyone always asks me what I like better, Buena or Oakcrest? It takes less than a second for me to respond. I love Oakcrest. I look back at all my old friends and half are on drugs and the other half are pregnant. I can literally think of only one friend I can hang out with now without having to worry about a cloud of smoke. Just one.
I was thinking about all of this this past break. I spent the first couple days in Buena with old friends. Night one, there was bottles on top of bottle on top of bottles. Night two, every room in the house was filled with smoke. I didn't take part in any of this, I just watched. I didn't recognize most of my old friends. It made me think about time beofre the drugs and alcohol came into the picture. When we use to spend all day planning our future, which by the way wasn't parties. It was college in New York and living together and being friends forever. Now I doubt these friends even think about collegemat all. I wish they would've moved to Oakcrest with me, then maybe they would have changed for the better like I did. Not to say there's no parties, drinking, or smoking here because of course there is, but I don't know. Being over here academically made me stronger. I spend my weekends looking up colleges and playing with my baby brother and I love it. It's much better than any drink or blunt.
Clearly, I haven't made the best decisions but I don't think I ever will. I've never seemed to weigh my options before I jump into something, I just do it. Before my change, this was a bad thing. I got myself into a lot of trouble. But now, I don't really worry about my impulsive decision making because I've matured and trust myself. So, change is okay. I love it when it's good change. When it's pointing me in the right direction. But it's still not great. It could still break my heart whenever it decided to.
This isn't directly in reaction to your post, but it made me realize that spontaneity scares me. The idea of not thinking about what i'm doing only results in me worrying about all of the terrible things that will or could possibly occur because I didn't spend enough time thinking about it.
Deletehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eCss0kZXeyE
ReplyDeleteThis link leads you to a Youtube video featuring one of my favorite bands/songs of all time. It is called “When I’m Sixty-Four” by the magnificent Beatles. One of the things about the Beatles that I find fascinating is their versatile yet simple construction of music, leaving the singing and messages they portray behind. Things like the style of music, the amount of time to get up on a given day, or the lunch that one chooses to eat are all things that are supposed to change, so we all can accept them. I like these changes, but I also think nothing of them, yet they make up a large portion of my life.
Now, I chose “When I’m Sixty-Four” specifically because it pertains somewhat to my topic and such. Paul McCartney wrote this song about his plans to grow old together with a woman he is enamored with and the fear of her abandoning him. Paul McCartney asks the woman if she is willing to commit to him forever, and tries to convince her by describing all of the good things that could happen when they’re together. Similarly to the way I plan my biggest decisions out in my head and look at every possible result until I can decide on a proper decision (this is much like how I play chess but I like the Beatles better than chess), McCartney wants to be sure that she will be his “forever more” before committing himself to her, a very big decision. Jumping into things other than pools and jump-ropes is not really my thing. I prefer to analyze to the point of over-analysis and then make what I believe to be the best decision for me. What makes big change like this foreboding is the fear that it will become a great onus on my life and my dreams will never come true because of my poor decision, even if it is the best decision (this is why procrastination is the most favorable route for me; just kidding). This is also the cause of my Libra-like indecision, despite being an Aries (That’s right! I just threw some astrology at you guys!).
Time for the hard part that I have been dreading: the “why”.
I don’t like why’s, but such is life.
Hopefully this whole song anecdote thing will help me with this one too.
At this point of my life, I have learned much about myself and the way I handle problems (mostly math problems, but life problems too). Change has become one of the problems that I have had to deal with from time to time, but also embrace or encourage it on other occasions. Why do I make these changes? I want the best future for myself and those I’m close to. By changing the way I act and speak, think and feel, work and play, open up and conceal, I have improved myself in ways that I can become more successful in life, not just in academics. Change, although it is arduous and frightening, is necessary for a brighter future. Even Paul McCartney could see that if he made the decision to marry this woman, without investigating the deepness of her love for him, he could have been left alone—old and depressed—by this woman. Sure, I shouldn’t take two hours to decide what I want to do when I’m over my friend’s house, but I think that also I shouldn’t leap into a great change without testing the waters first, or else the water might be worse than a little chilly: I could get hypothermia and die (okay, that’s a little melodramatic, but whatever). So I think Paul, George, John, and Ringo had it right when singing this song; without thinking ahead and analyzing the outcomes, one’s future can become messed up, leaving behind a horrible mess to clean up after the storm.
PS- My favorite song of all time is “Eleanor Rigby”.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-LOgMWbDGPA
Just in case you guys wanted to know.
Which you probably didn’t.
Oh well.
Aww Tom, this post had so much heart in it. I think that the way you go about decision making is the best way anyone could. The whole Beatles anecdote was a nice touch, it helped to illustrate your views perfectly. I hope that the game of chess that is your life will end up with a you delivering a checkmate, you have always been the person who stopped to think about not just yourself, but your friends as well. I know you beat your "old" self up a bit, but it wasn't really all that bad, you were more impulsive, but you were always the kid you are now.
DeleteTom:
ReplyDeleteEleanor Rigby is the best, I agree. Anyways, I love when you say, "Change, although it is arduous and frightening, is necessary for a brighter future." I completely agree with this. If you don't welcome change, you're life would be...pretty boring. You would never experience anything life-changing or eye-opening.
RachRach Filippone, Rachel Rachel Filippone:
I'm singing the Rachel Filippone song in my head, but anyways back on topic. In Latin and Gym, we've been able to establish our opinions on change. We often talk about traveling the world and meeting new people, but then I realize, we then start talking about how we hate people. It's very contradictory. However, I understand what you mean about being scared, and I'm glad you're able to admit it. I'm scared of change, but I want it so bad. That doesn't really make sense. Thinking about meeting new people and traveling the world definitely intrigues me, but it's probably because I don't label that as "change." To me, it's more of an experience. So instead of seeing new situations as change, you should trick your brain into thinking that it's a life experience that you can't pass up. That's what I tell myself at least.
Kendall:
ReplyDeleteI've made some pretty bad choices in my life. However, I feel as if those are the ones that have caused me to be a better individual. Sometimes, I scare myself, and go against my values. Why? Because sometimes I need a little spark in my life. Doing something completely out of character, and making a bad decision, opens my eyes and makes me realize how I need to live my life, and keep myself on track. I love how you're impulsive with some of your decisions. Sometimes I think it's good to be impetuous. I'm always restricting myself, and I'm uptight about everything. I love the people in my life, my friends, who are able to make me loosen up, because otherwise I don't think I would be able to laugh or have fun.
impetuous? ... I see what you did there :)
DeleteMimi: I couldn't agree more with you. There are billions and billions of people out there, and we’re confined to the same 400-so-students that we’ve been with forever. I think we all can’t “to blossom” and get out of our hometown culture.
ReplyDeleteConnie: You’re absolutely right when you describe there being two different types of change, and how one can be refreshing and the other can be frightening. It’s an important distinction I forgot to mention in my own blog response.
Kendall: You highlight an important aspect of making decisions; sometimes you need to make some bad ones to get your head set. I know for me, the bad decisions I’ve made in the past have transformed me into the person I am now, much more aware and mature. I’m sure you know what I understand. Even if bad decisions are made, those decisions can teach a helpful lesson.
The world is always changing. Technology evolves, people become smarter, and things are created. That's the way it has been, and the way it will always be. I am a strong proponent of change, both on the small and large scale. The idea of change is amazing to me, not knowing what is around the corner. I hate the same thing every day, I can't even stand doing the same thing for a few hours. I can't even begin to explain how excited and ready I am for college, and I still have a year left of high school. Actually, to show how much I really love change, I will tell you my plan for the future.
ReplyDeleteFirst, I wish to go to college, preferably a big school so that I can wonder around aimlessly in my very little amount of free time. After getting a degree in who knows (and who cares) what, I want to move to Hawaii, or the Caribbean. There, I want to work in a hotel, or a surf shop, and just relax. Then, I want to be a bit of a gypsy, and kind of move around in islands and things, searching for the perfect beach. I won't need much, just clothes, a little money for food every day, a tent, and a warm personality. I plan on fishing, surfing, long boarding, and just relaxing until I'm about 30-35 years old. From there, I want to meet a girl, maybe. I'm not a big fan of commitment, but I do want to make a Bobby Kelly White Boy Fresh Jr. so hey, I'll suck it up. Then I'll consider getting a real job with my degree, and settle down like everyone else does.
The main idea behind all of this is that, every so often, my life changes. It's out of the normal, and it can be exciting. I love the idea of new. New clothes, new shoes, new car, new house, new class, new school. I love it. Change to me, brings happiness, because your not stuck in one spot, you are constantly moving, keeping life interesting for it's short existence.
Now, obviously, change has to be good for the most part to be happy. The main way to make good change is in good choices. I'm not quite sure how to further explain this, I mean, it's pretty simple. Good Choices=Good Change.
But what makes a good choice? aha I found my point.
A good choice is again simple, it's what you feel is right. Screw socially accepted things. People are weird and the world is crap for a reason. Don't fall into the hole too. Everyone here is young, and can dive far from this opening black hole that is society. A good choice is not necessarily what your teachers or parents told you. A good choice is one that will make you feel better, and will bring you happiness. Now, I'm not saying go do drugs because they make you happy, because in the long run, you will be far from happy. Your choices have to consider the present, and the future. I DO strongly believe in living in the present, but at the same time you can't ignore the future, because it is coming. You have to always consider 5-10 years in advance, because if you don't, you screw yourself.
Live in the now, but worry about the future so that you have one. Make good choices for yourself, not from the ideas of the people around you. Change will always happen, and it will be good if you accept it. Remember all of that. Oh and screw society, that's my favorite.
Wow. I dont think i've ever heard someone talk so casually about their plans for the future. I hate to question your choices, but doesnt it worry you that have very little plan will lead you down a path that isnt where you want to be. That doing what seems right could lead to something that is completely wrong. But if your plans work out for you i wish you the best, because I would love to follow your plan, all sarcasm aside.
DeleteWell first, your so funny I loved reading this blog, especially the second paragraph about your future! I can totally picture the whole surf shop Hawaiian shirt thing. But anyway, I love your view on change. I completely agree with it too. All the "news" in life is what keeps us going and surely beats doing the same thing every day. Because doing the same thing day after day, falling into that "hole", is no way to live. YOLO right? :)
DeleteI guess that's why they call you Bobby "Mr. Sera" Kelly. That exact scenario sounds like something right out of the dreamy guy's gov class. Either way, sounds like a solid idea, mind if I join?
DeleteTom: You might hate me for this (please don't!) but I can't stand the Beatles. That being said, the song you chose to link is very relevant to this blog. Anyways, I would hope that you would make the right choices for yourself. Sometimes we make "mistakes" however that, as Mimi said in someone's response, makes us better people. Taking two hours to decide what to do at a friend's house may seem a little, well a lot, crazy, yet it might take that long to fully understand the choices that might be made.
ReplyDeleteI hate you now :P
DeleteIn some respect I think we all have some sort of inhibition or fear when it comes to change. I feel like its. Natural inclination for people to feel like times change can mean losing something we care about very much, and we all care about something. But sometimes even those of us who are afraid to loose something also crave things that are strikingly different from what we have. Oakcrest for example, every day I come here and think about all the things an people I am positive that I could live without and about how I can't wait to go to college just to escape all the things about this place and about my home that give me a headache on a daily basis. But even on those days there’s things that make me so thankful that I come here every day like all of you and band and drama and such, and things that I crave so deeply when I'm at home like my sister and the comfort of my home. However this doesn't change the fact that I am so excited to leave next year.
ReplyDeleteConsidering what was said about how most of us display two main fears, I'd like to sit on the fence again and say that I feel like we fear change because if we make the wrong decisions which is why up until now most of us have made the choices we have, taking as many ap classes as possible taking test after test to increase scores on things like the SATS which when we're forty years old will mean nothing. We make these decisions to ensure that our futures will be as successful as possible.
I care a little less about change than I do about choice, because choice determines change. There is almost never a situation when I do anything without examining all the options. I’m positive that the only exception to this rule is when I’m on stage because “fly – by- the – seat - of – your – pants” thinking often produces the best image on stage. I make the choices I do based on the idea that if I make the right choices now the more choices I will have later. Because for me doing the wrong thing is considerably more detrimental than not “living in the moment” and as bitter as it makes me to think about it, I’ve been criticized before for challenging myself and examining all my options. Needless to say I was incredibly pissed and, like every other teen, ranted to the internet about it.
When it comes to seemingly inconsequential things I think about them considerably less like what to have for lunch and such, and I suppose on some level that thinking a little more about them might make me happier, but I seriously doubt that I will ever spend that much time on a chicken patty. I save my worry and stress for more pressing situations.
ReplyDeleteAs I’m sure I’ve mentioned in many a previous blog, I’m a girl of contradictions. I always have been, for as long as I can remember. I’m painfully shy when confronted with certain situations, yet easily outgoing in others, and honestly I couldn’t really tell you why that is. Maybe it’s about how comfortable I am in the situation, maybe it’s some subconscious thing, maybe it’s just one of my many random quirks. I don’t know. What I do know, is that change is one of those contradictory topics for me. I love the idea of change. I love the thought that no matter where I am at this exact moment of my life, I could be somewhere completely different in a year’s time (or a month’s or a day’s) which is comforting during those times when I feel that I’m not happy with where I’m at. I think what is most appealing about change is that it is a mystery-it gives us all the chance, the possibility for everything to get better or more exciting. The thing that I yearn for most could be at my fingertips tomorrow-whatever it is. Once I undergo change-whether in new friends, situations, places, or activities, I can honestly say that I’m better for it. I either have an amazing time that I now know I can repeat at will, or I hate it and I know it is another thing that I’ll be able to steer clear from in the future. Either way, I feel it’s good to know. I never regret change after it happens. The problem for me is the process itself. The constant flip flop of ‘do I really want this to happen?’ and the thought that I can’t go back once I’ve done it. As I’ve said, I’ve never in my life regretted change, but that doesn’t prevent me from fearing the idea that I may undergo a change-do something that I truly regret, and not have the option of going back. We only get one life, and I’d hate to screw it up. College is a big change that is fast approaching, and given that I have no clear or definite road that I see myself taking or wanting to take, I find myself stressed and fearfull that I’ll end up doing nothing, or perhaps worse-stuck doing something I absolutely hate. *sigh* college. Talk about important choices.
Choices, like change, are another thing I over think. Ask any of my close friends and they’ll tell you that I’m an indecisive person, whether because I am over thinking the choice for myself, or because I find myself unwilling to make a decision about something in the company of someone else, and have it be something they don’t want to do—essentially, make a choice someone else will regret, just because they’re with me. Now ultimately that isn’t really my responsibility, and I know this, but it’s just another one of those things about myself that I can’t seem to help. Now I’m sure most people are going to claim this same thing, but I can honestly say that I’m a bit of both (as everything seems to be with me). I usually find myself thinking my choices through thoroughly-pros, cons, any certain strong thoughts or beliefs I have about something, what could go wrong, what might I regret if I don’t do it, and then back to pros and cons. All these things go through my mind with most choices that I encounter everyday. This is the over thinking I was talking about. This is part of the reason I can be so indecisive sometimes. I know that every action has a consequence, whether good or bad, and sometimes the things we choose have a farther reaching affect than we can imagine. However there are also those times when I’m feeling adventurous, or annoyed at my tendency to think of every facet of every option before me, and I just think ‘screw it’ and dive right in. I don’t know if this further proves what an indecisive person I am, or just says I have a good balance—I guess that’s for everyone else to judge (as we all know they do). Ultimately when I make a choice, it’s usually about a mixture of my thoughts/needs/mindset of the moment mixed with the beliefs I have. If I’m feeling down, stressed, reckless, or bored, or like my life is just boring, I may make the choice to dive in, lie to my parents, and go to a party. Talk to me when I’m feeling lazy or content or reclusive, and I’ll think a little harder about the consequences and effort of going to the same party, and turn it down to watch a good movie with friends or family or read a good book (I know, I know, what type of teenager am I?) You’ll never find me smoking no matter what mood I’m in, as it isn’t something I have any interest in, and I’ll always be willing to put down whatever I’m doing to help a friend in need. I think that’s the key to choices; having a variety. To make the same types of choices all the time leads to either a very boring or a very reckless life. Everything in moderation, as my dad likes to say. Change, good choices, bad choices, smart ones, dumb ones, I think a little of each is the way to go-as is most everything in life.
ReplyDeleteGeorge: I completely agree with what you said about how change is what makes life interesting. I also really like what you said about how it makes us grow. No doubt the decisions we make and changes we go through have a profound affect on us-every moment in our lives shapes us to form the people we are, and the people we will be. I think long term consequences are definitely an important factor to have in mind with any decision, but I also think it is important to let loose every once in a while and just do something completely selfish, or reckless, or courageous, because sometimes these choices are the ones that lead us to the best places. Not always, of course, but those are the chances you take in life.
ReplyDeleteJanel: I can definitely relate to the fact that you feel you are both impulsive and cautious. I feel the same. And while I can definitely see your point about your sister and college and that whole situation, I think some people are just afraid to grow up and have to make it on their own, knowing that if they screw up it’s them that will be responsible-their life that will be affected. While I can’t say how much I’m looking forward to this, I can also understand the other side.
Connie: I love what you said about how your opinion on change depends on the premise—I completely agree with this. Everything affects everything else, and depending on the information you’re provided, sometimes your entire view can be changed with just a single event or sentence. The situations surrounding both change and choices are always important factors, I feel.
When it comes to change, I’m a bit funny. I like change, but only to an extent. For example, I can’t wait to be able to go off into the world starting with college to be able to experience brand new things. However, when my family had planned on moving my main worry was that I wanted to stay in the school district. I wasn’t willing to change my surroundings, because I was looking forward to spending another 7 years with the people I knew my whole life.
ReplyDeleteNow, after much contemplation, I think I figured out the true reasoning behind this mindset. I like change. That is a complete total fact. However, I like change that I can control. I like to make my changes at certain milestones in my life, that way I don’t feel like I left a task half-completed. For example, if I had to move during the middle of the year this passed school year to a different state right after I was nominated to run for state office, I would have been annoyed beyond belief. I am the type of person that wants to get done a lot of things in life. This means that if my plans get delayed because the winds of change go against the weather forecast and turn into Hurricane Irene, then I would become angry. After all, they say life is short and I want to live it to its maximum capacity.
Change is appealing for one main reason, it brings variety. Sounds redundant? Maybe. Here’s the thing though, with variety comes experience. Every time you do something different than what you’ve done before, you create a slightly more diverse background. On the same note, that diverse background leads to a larger repertoire of skills that will help you to lead a better life and complete tasks more easily. Hopefully the changes in my life will increase my horizons to allow me to become a great student, a great doctor, and...hopefully...a great dad.
Oh Lord...Choices. I HATE making choices. Well, generally. I hate making frivolous choices such as what movie to go see at the theaters with a friend or what time someone could come over. I will argue for hours until the other person just picks for me. So my process of making everyday simple choices is...simple. I just either wait for someone else to choose or do a 2 second eenie meenie minie mo. However, large decisions are more my forte. I guess I should clarify what a large decision is...A large decision is any decision that is large enough to have a profound impact on myself and (most of the time) others. With making these types of decisions I have one specific process. Before diving into action I either talk to the people whom the decision will affect, or I put my best judgement towards what would be best for those people and then I act as soon as possible. This is the reason why I like to assume leadership roles, it allows me to put other people into the spotlight to benefit them as well as listen to the feedback from those I work with.
I definitely agree with your point about change. When it's predictable it's certainly more easy to handle. But that's the same with everything, really. Anyways, change that you can control and prepare for is usually the best, because you don't have to deal with it surprising you and having to respond quickly to it.
DeleteSnowdrops have sprung up for seventeen Springs in my lifetime. Trees have faded from green to red to yellow then to a withering brown for seventeen Autumns. Spring or Autumn, Summer or Winter, these are all changes. But they’re rhythmic, steady, even dependable like the twelve o’clock chime. I can count on these changes. I look at the date on a clock and expect the seasons to change accordingly. It’s a safe change. I can hardly mourn Spring when I know the humid haze that is Summer will soon fade away to bring Spring back to me, just as the hand of a clock on twelve must return to nine sometime. Even more steady have been the evergreens that have stayed their ever present green my entire life. When all leaves have fallen, the prickly Pitch Pines and Hemlocks don’t falter. Yet, when I see just the slightest touch of cool brown swath the tip of a branch of an evergreen, I fear for it. This change is equally as expectable. No tree can live forever. The timing is not as dependable as a change in season, but the outcome is just as predictable. But this time, I can’t find the courage not to mourn. Once this tree dies, it won’t come back.
ReplyDeleteThat’s the difference. Yes, the snowdrops (they’re the first flower to bloom after winter, sometimes even under the snow) and the Oak trees all die too. The Oak trees die just as permanently as the Pine trees. But the Pine trees are always there. The Oaks fade into the background for a season every year. The Snowdrops are only out for a brief frolic to flaunt the Spring to come. The evergreens are always with me. They’re the characters that inhabit my day to day life. When their chapter comes to a close, they make no reappearances later in the book. Years ago, I remember lying in bed knowing that one day I would be in high school. One day my frolic in Elementary and Middle School would be over. Though I was just a First Grader then, I knew one day I would be a High School student. Just like now I know I’ll have a job one day, be married one day (granted I don’t die before then), and have kids one day. I look at the family dinners I have every night, that I’ve had every night for forever, and I know they’re numbered. I’m horrified of change. I look forward to college, a job, marriage and kids, I do, but I love my life now too much. I don’t want it to end. I don’t want to trade what I have for positive changes. I don’t want to trade the days away, to trade my parents’ lives away in essence, to lose my dog.
It’s not that I don’t like change at all. Without the Oaks to change color every once in a while life would be boring. I guess I don’t like any form of permanence besides the one I’m living now. My mind tends to categorize all parts of my life into overlapping eras. The era of my cats Ebony and Jasmine have ended. I’m in AP era now. I’ve always been in live-at-home era. I’m so sentimental that it’s disgusting. I assign feelings to all inanimate objects. I mean, I know girls are more feeling oriented but my God, I myself supply more reasons to fuel my dislike for women in general (I’m pretty sure it’s evolutionary…). My friend once moved my ice cream bowl because it was in her way, and I promptly moved it back. Following the reasonably questioning look, I simply told her, “It wanted to be there.” This is absurd and I was kidding at the time, but sometimes I wonder if I was only half joking. I hardly like to throw a piece of paper away, let alone a chapstick. Here I am, tossing out old worn out eras of my life. I never used to step on cracks as a child, but not for fear of bad luck. It’d be a crime to only step on some cracks. The panic of accidentally stepping on a crack and throwing off my routine was uncalled for. I’d have to switch to all cracks. If I tapped one side of the computer desk with my foot, God forbid, I’d immediately have to tap the other side. I wouldn’t want to favor one side. Anyway, the point of that is I can’t let things go easily. I stress that I don’t want to stay where I am forever. I’m beyond excited for college and all the unknown things ahead. I just crave the feeling that I can go back. The Snowdrops will rise again, you know? I’m not a fan of endings. I wish change could make a full circle ending is all.
ReplyDeleteChoices are an appreciated concept by me, but if you force me to make one I’ll spend more time bludgeoning you in my mind rather than contemplating it. I’d say I’m generally more impulsive than some people, but that doesn’t mean I don’t spend time harping on choices.
Thought Process:
1. Why would they do this to me?
2. I can think about this tomorrow.
3. No, I want to be done with this now.
4. Rashly think of an option.
5. Weigh the positives and negatives.
6. Sing to the Inspiration Gods.
7. Impulsively choose.
8. Bludgeon some more.
9. Feel happy that a choice was made.
10. Choose, say no regrets, and immediately regret.
I wouldn’t ever want to make a decision without a thought. But I get so bored with thinking about options and stressed that I’ll just choose something and stick with it. It’s like on AP multiple choice tests. I don’t want to choose randomly, so sometimes I’ll skip one to come back, but I refuse to move onto the next page without choosing an answer. I don’t want the need to go back and think some more to ride on me for the rest of the test. Basically, I’d rather the choice be made for me in most cases. I’m just not necessarily prone to sit by with it if I don’t like it.
Amber, this is exactly why I love you. The whole creation of this blog post sums it up. Aside from your amazing writing skills along with the entertainment quality that is packed in every word, the meaning and the overally ideas that you share are pretty much trademarked by Amber Lee Kell and are incabable of being copied by another human being. Maybe a tree or an animal, but not a human. I said it about a million times right now, but you are the most unique person I know, and whenever I get the chance to read one of your blog posts I'm automatically reminded of the scenes of nature that have dazzled my mind. Thank you.
DeleteKendall: I loved this blog post! You were so honest and straightforward that, though I can’t especially relate to much of it (for better or for worse), it really stuck with me. Sometimes it’s better to be spontaneous anyway. To really learn something you have to make mistakes sometimes.
ReplyDeleteRachel: O Rachel, how I love thee. You were the one I was referencing when I said I was a little more impulsive than some people. I can serve as a witness that you are not good with short term decisions, but I would back up your claim for long term ones. Not that I doubt what you said, but I find it kind of paradoxical that somebody who can be so analytical of life (in the good way, you’re very insightful and truly look into things) does not apply that same analysis to decisions. I respect that though. Feelings are a lot better to tend to than “logic.”
Ashley: Yup, there it is, the fear of not being able to go back. Agreeagreeagree. But I know we both suck at decisions, but at least there’s always Buffy to choose for us, right? Just lay out a bunch of college letters you’ve gotten in the mail and let Buffy take a whack at it. You know, smear a little meat on a couple of the ones you have even the slightest interest in. Also, I do admire your variety, but how you always stay true to yourself even more. Your stories are always quite nice and humorous, but never with a need for self-deprecation. Hats off to you, my friend.
Amber- I really enjoyed how you broke down the thought process. Not only did I agree with it, but it caught my eye, and got me to read your blog. It was very easy to follow as well. It seems simple but I mean, I don't know, nice job haha.
ReplyDeleteConnie- I agree with Ashley in the fact that I agree with you when you say change depends on premise. I like that idea a lot because you're right, and it made me rethink my blog and everything. I mean, I'm so ready to jump at any change (or that's how I make it seem) but you can't be accepting toward EVERYTHING.
Mike G- I kind of agree with your change-to-an-extent idea. I mean, I agree with it to an extent. I wouldn't want to move now, just like you because of school and everything, but when I'm out, then I couldn't care less how much i move. So yeah, just my thoughts!
I’m a fence sitter when it comes to change. There. I said it. There are some days that I never want to leave my beautiful home and family and the life I know. Then there are times when I’m yearning for something more. Those have been occurring frequently lately. I want to meet new people and have a new life and get out of this place I know. Some days I feel suffocated by my surroundings, especially the people in it. I guess the thing about change that scares me is the unknown. I’m a very organized person and I like lists and charts and order. I like knowing the outcome. I get nervous when I don’t know how something will end. I’m very impatient so I need to know things at once. Change brings those feelings because everything is unknown. I don’t have a routine for the unknown. I like the comfort zone. It’s called the COMFORT zone for a reason. But then again, there are those days when I jump towards change. I like thinking things will change and I will find something better. Some days I feel if something changes in my life, I will lose myself or something. I hold desperately on the past and so change messes with the past. It’s harder to hold onto something that is always changing. Lately though, I’ve been learning to let go. It’s hard, but I’m trying. But then again, there are some days when I rush to change. Some days I lose sleep because I realize how dull my life is and I want something different. Some days I feel like I’m wasting my life because I’m not changing at all. But at the same time, I am changing, yet not enough. Right at this moment, I’m enjoying my cozy night watching baseball and writing this blog in my pajamas, and I’m smiling at how monotonously pleasant my life is. But over this last weekend, I had this jolt of energy and where I realized I wanted change. It was sort of an epiphany in a way, but I get these somewhat often. There will be random times in my life where I have this surge of thoughts of change, and then it’s all I can think about. I think about what I want to be when I’m older and how I’m getting away from here and how I will be traveling everywhere. Then a few weeks later, I’ll be calm and sitting in my pajamas enjoying my life again. I don’t scream and run from change as much as I used to, because I realized that I should just embrace what life throws at me. I only get one life, so there is no need for me to be wishing I had something different. I should love and celebrate and appreciate the life I have right now. So all in all, I’ll always be changing, but I’ll always be the same person. It may be a “Dominique” thing. It may be a fence sitter thing. I’m very indecisive on the concept.
ReplyDeleteLet me just say I am a very impulsive person, but not as much as I used to be. I sort of think things through more logically than I used to, which is a good thing. I weigh my options when it comes to big things. I like to look at the bigger picture, and then the smaller picture, and then the bigger one again. For the most part, I tend to over think things to the point where I go insane. But there are those few flashes when I just wing it. My decisions, right or wrong, will teach me something. I’ve made a lot of mistakes in my life, but I don’t regret any of those mistakes because I learned a new lesson that day. There are some solid choices that I have a definite decision making process for, like how Bunje mentioned smoking in the question. I refuse to smoke, ever. That’s my choice. It’s not even a decision making process anymore because I have a go to answer for it. I suppose while making decisions I make my feelings and opinions known. I guess that counts as a “thought process.” I usually make sure that if I’m making a decision that involves a person, I let them know why I’m making that decision and explain why I feel the way I do. Another way I attempt choices is through a list. I get a piece of paper and write the choice I have to make at the top and physically write down columns of pros and cons, and then circle the choice that has the more cons. If I have to choose between two things I list the things I am trying to get out of the outcome and check off which choice would give me that outcome. This is kind of embarrassing to type into this blog, because it’s sort of ridiculous, but it helps me make sure I know what I’m doing. Then there are other times when I just go for it. I wing it and jump in without knowing what is on the other side. I think that all boils down to how I feel the need to let people know I feel. I’m terrible at hiding my feelings, which I don’t necessarily think is a bad thing. If I’m mad at you, you’ll know. If I like you, you’ll know. If I’m upset, you’ll know. That part of me is pretty self-explanatory. I don’t go out of my way to hide anything.
ReplyDeleteI’m sure this is confusing for any of you to understand, because it’s confusing to me and I am me and I should know how I act and what I do. However, this isn’t the case. I’m still looking for what I want and that feeling changes from day to day, but sooner or later I’ll figure it out.
Ash: "As I’m sure I’ve mentioned in many a previous blog, I’m a girl of contradictions. I always have been, for as long as I can remember. I’m painfully shy when confronted with certain situations, yet easily outgoing in others, and honestly I couldn’t really tell you why that is. Maybe it’s about how comfortable I am in the situation, maybe it’s some subconscious thing, maybe it’s just one of my many random quirks." This was perfect! I especially liked the part about being shy sometimes but outgoing in others. I'm the same way. In some situations I want to hide or run away, but in others I'm the loudest person there. It's very weird, and very contradictory, but just know you aren't alone. I can totally relate.
ReplyDeleteBob Dylan says “The Times They Are A-Changin’”, and there is no arguing with Bob Dylan. On a serious note this song points out the fact that change is essential and important to society. It also points out that we should not delay in making these changes, “For he who gets hurt, will be he who has stalled”. It is this change that I widely accept and promote. These changes or more specifically social and world changes are vital to sociological growth. These changes bring acceptance, tolerance, and new opportunities. However, I believe we are talking about the prospect of change on a more personal level; changes in one’s normal routine, changes that make an emotional impact, or even ones that make us uncomfortable in daily circumstance. I will not say that I am afraid of change; but that I am more hesitant of making such changes. To clarify, I am often skeptical of change and have convinced myself that these “new ways” of doing things are not even close to satisfactory. Sometimes I guess I could say that I have firmly constructed a foundation for specific occasions where I ardently lean towards believing that “If it ain’t broke, then don’t fix it”. I suppose the hardest thing about change is that it is often uncomfortable, which is just like trying new things for the first time. But more often than not we see through the shams we have fabricated and acknowledge that change is very beneficial for us in the end, and that these new decisions and changes were not as bad as originally thought to be. More recently than before I have come to accept change as a staple of everyday life—a quotidian process that should not be feared. Fearing change is like being afraid to step out of your own home. Anytime we walk into an experimental environment there is always chance for change no matter how minute. Avoiding change would be to essentially box ourselves into a controlled environment and proceed with wasting our days away with stodgy and repetitive nonsense. Living a life without change is hardly living at all. And because of that sole reason I am becoming more and more attracted to the bewildering mistress of change. Embracing change is embracing life and who doesn’t want that?
ReplyDeleteNow, I believe I mentioned my inclination to be hesitant of change. In a way, I believe this to be both a negative and positive aspect of my thinking. The reason being is that change can be either good or bad. This is where the whole “thinking before making a decision” aspect rolls into the discussion. Making choices is always difficult. It’s actually kind of funny considering the stress many of us encounter when making simple resolutions. I think this hesitation stems from being overly analytical which I will often claim to be—I also worry too much about little things. For me, the key is to establish a mindset that is adventurous in nature, yet prudent enough to protect us from bone-headed and uninformed decisions. We should all welcome change with open arms when it comes a knockin’, but at the same time make sure to do a little background check on it before we let it into our life. Change has an arsenal of disguises, and it is our job to adequately sleuth around to see through those guises so that we are making clear and knowledgeable choices. That being said, I always try to make a concerted effort when weighing my options so that I can understand just what the consequences would be for making those choices. In the end, it is often said that “our choices make us who we are” and the growth that results from these choices are all circumstances of change. So if we all want to ensure the best possible life for ourselves we will need to find a balance between embracing change, and also being cautious of the consequences of the choices in accepting that change.
Although what I said about change is basically the opposite of what you're saying, I completely agree with you. Change should definitely be thought through, considering it has it's good and bad side. But I suppose I haven't faced any potentially bad change, which is why I tend to jump headfirst into change.
DeleteKendall: I loved how honest you were. Your post was so raw and I appreciate it more than you know. I admire that you aren't afriad to put your life out for people to see. I think that's why we're good friends. We're both pretty honest with each other and I think that's lovely. I'm so happy you came back to Oakcrest too. Now, I can't really imagine my life without your warm smile or laugh every day. <3
ReplyDeleteHaha, I love you girl! But when it comes to these blogs I figure they're too hard to fake. I mine as well tell it all, I have no shame! :) I couldn't imagine be anywhere else either. As much as I claim I hate school, I seriously love Oakcrest.
DeleteThe only thing scarier than change to me is my own mortality. Or clowns. I hate clowns. For the past few years, I’ve been yearning for a change of scenery – I want to explore, I’m stricken with wanderlust. I’ve been itching to find a college far, far away from this cramped little house that I’ve never been away from for more than a week over the last seventeen and a half years. I always had these wild fascinations about college life out in Oregon, or some other random state that no one really cares about, and finally ditching this complacent lifestyle I’ve been leading. Yet, as that possibility of moving to Oregon becomes more and more real, the less and less sure I become of my ardor to leave. It wasn’t until recently that I realized how much I actually enjoy my life here – I’m not really sure why, just a sudden epiphany, I suppose – and how much it saddens me that it’s all so fleeting, evading my grasp every time I try to fasten it. My family’s already making plans for what they’re doing with my room once I move out and I’ve been drifting from some of my closest friends for a while now, and it feels as if life’s trying to shove me away and I’m not even ready yet. It’s because of this that I’m so terrified of change. I’m scared to leave my family; I’m scared to start anew; I’m scared to be ripped of my identity and forced to reestablish myself in a new place. Most people are exhilarated of this idea and I always have been, too. Now, I’m just terrified of losing who I am.
ReplyDeleteBeing the paranoid, compulsive control-freak I am, decision-making seems like it’d be a no-brainer for me, right? I’m meticulous and precise and outrageously controlling and yet, when all eyes are on me, begging for instruction, I freeze. I’m opinionated. Probably overly opinionated, but I can never seem to articulate my opinions in a coherent fashion to where they can be discussed or even understood, really (if you heard my speech, that there is a prime example). Despite that, sharing my opinions or ideas scares me because I am horrified of being ridiculed. Because it’s hard for me to share my opinions, it’s even harder for me to be a leader and make other people’s decisions. Don’t get me wrong, I can stand up for myself and turn down things I’m uncomfortable with and take responsibility for my mistakes; I just feel completely out of place when someone asks me to choose the restaurant or design the format or anything in which someone else is affected by my choice. When I absolutely HAVE to make a decision, I often close my eyes and choose whatever’s behind Door #1 and hope I’m not hated for it. Weighing out my options is not something I’m rather skilled at (which seems to conflict with my personality, no?), so any choices I am one hundred percent cornered into making, they’re usually sporadic and illogical.
Basically, change and choice are two things I have the tendency to avoid at all costs because both cause me to become abnormally prone to panic attacks or mental breakdowns or anything of the sort. I’m not exactly sure if those two qualities of mine are downfalls or not; all I know is I want to stay young and semi-carefree forever.
"I’m scared to leave my family; I’m scared to start anew; I’m scared to be ripped of my identity and forced to reestablish myself in a new place. Most people are exhilarated of this idea and I always have been, too. Now, I’m just terrified of losing who I am." This is what I love. I love the the thrill and fear of not knowing what's ahead. It's that feeling of complete "lostness", if you will. This feeling excites me because in the end you always come out better for it. You obtain more knowledge and more experience. But obviously I can see it's scary as hell. I guess I like scary. I can't wait to go far, far away to some remote college. Ha, it's Kayla who might have a heart attack. :p Oh, by the way, clowns seriously are creepy, I hate looking at them!
DeleteGeorge: I really admire and respect how brave you are. That makes you who you are and I think that's awesome. The part about your blog that stuck with me the most was when you mentioned going all in. I try to do that in my life, and sometimes I'm not successful. However, at least I know I tried. I don't want to look back on my life and say "Well I would have, but I didn't." Or "I wonder what would have happened if I (fill in the blank), but I never did, so I'll never know." I don't mind looking back and saying "Well I screwed up, but I learned something." That's kind of what my This I Believe paper was about, and your blog post sort of embodies the "go all in" mentality. It's a great mindset to have and those chances that you take will eventually lead you to great success.
ReplyDeleteAmber:
ReplyDeleteAh, Inspiration Gods. I know those guys. They’ve helped me triumph many an indecisive slump. Seriously though, I agree with you about endings: they suck. It’s true that every ending leads to a new beginning, but don’t you just wish you could have it all? The comfort of the past and the promise of the future, all rolled into one deliciously satisfying life. But life’s not a buffet. It’s more like one of those fancy restaurants where everything on the menu looks scrumptious, but it’s also really expensive, so you can only order one dish. Ok, I’m going to go eat dinner now…
Nyame:
I love thinking about the number of people in the world compared to the number of people you’ve actually met and spoken to. Seventeen years in, and there are still seven billion opportunities for mind-expanding relationships. I feel the same way about travelling. I find it depressing—yet also invigorating—that there is so much more of this planet to be seen than we ever will see. More towns than we will ever live in, more books than we will ever read, and more people than we will ever connect to. That’s why change is so necessary. It opens the eyes. By the way, I can now hear your voice in my head singing the Rachel Filippone song…
Change is inevitable. Obviously, a big change for all of us is going off to college next year. I’m excited for this change. To put it bluntly, I can’t wait to get the hell out of Oakcrest. I’ve been surrounded by the same people my whole life (well, since second grade when I moved to Mays Landing.) I’m really tired of seeing the same faces everyday, with the exceptions of my friends. It’s time to meet some new people and experience new things. College is a fresh new start and that’s why I’m highly anticipating it. In college, we’ll grow and mature by taking on new opportunities. I know it will take time to adjust to everything, but hopefully the college experience will be worth it. In this time, I will probably burgeon as a human being. I can only hope that I’ll become more aware of who I am as a person and why I was put on this Earth.
ReplyDeleteThis topic of change actually reminded me of some news I just received from my mom. I’m actually going to China this summer for about 2 weeks. At first I was really excited, but then fear crept onto me. I’ve never been to another country before. I don’t know what to expect. If you’re not suppose to drink their water, then what else isn’t safe? Am I supposed to take shots before I go there? All these questions were swirling around in my naïve head. I know this isn’t a permanent change, but it’s a temporary one. It’s a big change in scenery, culture, and society. So yes, with change comes fear and anxiety. I sounded really excited when talking about college, but I’m scared as well. Scared that I won’t make friends right away or properly adjust to a whole new world. Even worse, scared of failure. But then I think about taking things one step at a time, and not overwhelming myself with anticipation because I’ll probably be let down. This brings me to making the right choices.
The fact is, I’m really indecisive about certain choices I have to make. Sometimes, it bothers me because I think so long and hard on something that isn’t the least bit important or life-changing. Does this shirt look good on me? Should I buy it? This is why I hate shopping. I never know what I want. Furthermore, I don’t like it when people ask for my opinions on certain topics because sometimes I simply have no opinion on the subject. Because of this, I’m afraid of saying the wrong thing or something I don’t believe in. It’s hard for me to make decisions. So I do act on impulse a lot. There are certain choices that I know I will always make and don’t have to think twice about. This includes partying, drugs, alcohol etc. I understand how impulsive decision-making could be a dangerous thing. The truth is, weighing options makes me overwhelmed and frustrated a lot of the time. But I understand the importance of weighing my options and the thought process of decision-making. It allows for us to think about the positive things that will come out of it, but also the consequences and regrets. Things won’t always go as planned and we won’t always make the right choices, but hopefully we’ll learn from our decisions and mistakes.
Change is ever-so promising. The concept of change relies on the sentiment of being discontent with one’s surroundings. You don’t like something, so you seek change. Change is a manner in which to break free from the shackles of normalcy and the bindings of monotony. After all, once you become content with your surroundings, you are liable to become dormant within them. This is dangerous. As one becomes dormant, it becomes increasingly easy to be taken off guard. Constant change is crucial in almost all facets of life, as it breeds adaptation.
ReplyDeleteDon’t get me wrong, consistency is often a virtue. However, consistency without purpose is little more than mindless repetition. Take baseball, for instance, a sport of consistency. A player’s success depends on his ability to work efficiently to flawlessly reproduce a certain play. Steadiness is a crucial aspect to the game. On the other hand, one must always be ready to adapt, to make a change, in order to react to a ground ball up the middle. At bat, a curveball can take you off guard, and you must always be prepared to sit back and rip the ball. Moreover, while consistency plays a role, one must always be ready for change.
Consequently, I embrace change. I run up to change and give it a tight hug, like some long lost friend of mine. Change should always be welcomed, as without change, there is no evolution. Change is the catalyst for progress in all walks of life. In addition, one’s ability to cope with change may say much about who they are. The conservative and timid often cower in the face of change. This is not always an issue though, as resisting immediate change can often bring about more beneficial change in the future. Those who embrace change are often spontaneous, and are liable to make choices on a whim.
Furthermore, my choices are most often affected by my ability to react quickly to change. Often, I react quickly and impetuously to most situations that come about in my life. Many will claim that acting spontaneously is dangerous, however, I place faith in my instincts and my first choice is usually the best choice. Take critical reading, for instance. The difficulty many students have with SAT and AP style critical reading passages is second guessing on multiple choice questions. I however, almost always choose my first answer as my final answer, and so far, it’s worked out well for me. Quick thinking has also been a plus for me in my social life. I portray a more precise version of my true self when not taking time to calculate every single move I make, or every single word I say.
I seldom waste time on over thinking, as it often leads to reexamining situations that mustn’t be reflected upon. It opens the window for mistakes. On the field, second guessing can be disastrous. While driving, second guessing can cause an accident. It is crucial to let your instincts take over, to go with the flow of who you are. At the plate, it is impossible to hit the 2-1 curveball if you’re stuck thinking about the 2-0 fastball. Or if you’re planning on a 2-1 fastball. Moreover, the instinctive decision making process is often the most successful.
To Amber: I'm with Mike on this one. I absolutely love the way you write. More so it’s the content than the actual style. I'm big on ideas and personal ideologies and I can't help but constantly become intrigued by your thoughts.
ReplyDeleteTo Tom: Like me you used a song to communicate your thoughts more clearly. You really took the song’s message to heart in your blog which I thought made it highly interesting. Of course anything the Beatles write is exceptional in itself. Your belief seems to fit with their song writing when you put stock in deciphering the right choices to provide a better life for yourself.
To Mike: I too experienced the same feeling when I moved from Galloway to Mays Landing that you expressed in your anxiety about wanting to stay in your school district. But what I learned is that this change was highly beneficial as I moved on to bigger and better things—new experiences and new friends such as yourself. I can honestly testify that we need not hold onto things if change forcefully dictates them upon us. Some things are out of our control which you speak to. But to certain extents I think we all want to hold onto things as long as we can. Not wanting change is often a circumstance of creating special bonds. It’s why we have relationships with other people.
First off, I do not recall asking for this blog topic, except maybe signing up to take the class. Regardless, I like the topic of change and people’s embracing and resisting it. Like most people, I like some change and I like some consistency. To start off the blog response, I’ll discuss why I sometimes seek change.
ReplyDeleteThe main reason I would want change is to simplify the purchasing of a canned beverage from a vending machine. They don’t always accept my crumpled dollar bills. On a more serious note (more serious than a Federal Reserve Note), I embrace the concept of change when a certain area in my life has become either dull and boring or impossible to continue. An example of the former might be an activity that I eventually lose interest in, like playing solitaire. I once played over fifty games in two days because I was intrigued by the strategy of the game, but I soon lost interest as some other activity caught my attention. The main reason why anyone ever seeks change is because he is not satisfied. Whatever is in his life now is not satisfactory enough to remain.
An example of something that must change would be age. Time would be the culprit behind the inevitable transformation from childhood to adulthood. Unfortunately, I do not tend to embrace the thought of growing older. I just like the idea of being young. It means I have my whole life ahead of me, and that anything could be in the future waiting for me. The main reason why anyone ever resists change is because they are content or even happy with the current conditions. I love where I am in life. I love being a full-time student, struggling with my laziness. I love my current friends and school setting. Now, the reason I’m not so ready to grow up is not because I think my life will change for the worse: it’s because I can’t comprehend that it will be better. I know that I have a good background, I’ve made good decisions as a student, and that my future is looking bright from here; but a future that looks bright seems just as good as entering a bright future. A bright future is something that is idealized: nothing has happened in that bright future yet, so nothing bad has happened yet.
The resistance to change is a behavior that deviates from a developed fear. I’m not quite ready to grow up because, I will admit, I am afraid of facing the unknown. This is something that is inevitable, so I know that when the time comes I will embrace the change with courage and an open mind. No one said life was easy. Challenges will occur as we all grow up, but we must summon inspiration from somewhere to keep the wheel turning. When people seek change, they just want something else in their lives to keep it interesting or they haven’t found something they are looking for. When people resist change, the often times have found what they are looking for and are content with their lives. To say one lifestyle is better than the other is a close-minded conclusion, because people can do what they want with change.
When I make choices, I do try to weigh my options. I have my moments where I act without thinking, but those choices are usually inconsequential or nearly so. When I need to make a tough decision, I normally spend a good amount of time contemplating. I try to think of myself as humble, but in reality everyone has selfish means. These are our instincts to survive and thrive. I weigh the options in my head to see which will benefit me the most. Many times, fortunately, the option I choose is the one that benefits others, because helping others pleases me.
Your currency jokes are quite amusing! I also find the remainder of your blog response intellectually invigorating! Especially the section where you discuss change only being desired when one is not satisfied. Not all variability can satisfy those who have been lost in the forest of the constant, but they continue to search for it regardless.
DeleteTo Connie: I haven’t even mentioned my change in music taste. I have a lot of songs on my iTunes; not as many as some, but a good number. I have a few genres that I like to listen to, and the genre I predominantly listen to in a period of time is usually different from a previous one. But generally I still like all of the music. Also, I’m sorry to discover your break-up. I am glad to see that you have found some optimism in it.
ReplyDeleteTo Mikey G: When I read your blog response, it made me realize that the variety that comes with change is important because the experience you mentioned is learning. New experiences fill your mind with invaluable knowledge, which is an essential aspect of enjoying one’s life. Also, you’re a born leader. Your strategy for decision making, for the huge choices, is ideal in a leadership position and I’m sure you will thrive when you become the president.
To Becca: First, I actually like living at my home. It can’t get more cramped than living in the same bedroom as my twin brother, but I like my home. Second, I also contemplated what it would be like to live in a low-density state such as Oregon. Small towns where everyone knows you by name just fascinate me, especially because we live in the state with the highest population density.
Dom: I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT YOU MEAN (about change)! It scares the absolute bejesus out of me, yet I still want it to happen. I've said since I was younger that I want to get the hell out of New Jersey and start anew somewhere far away from here but then nostalgia kicks in and I remember how much I love it here, how much I want the status quo. Does that make us indecisive or fickle or what? I don't know. I can't really say how I feel about the subject without sounding overly wishy-washy. /:
ReplyDeleteBobby: *You're - third paragraph, last sentence. ;) Anyway, I admire your bravery. Choice and change both petrify me to my core. Maybe I'm too comfortable with my complacency or maybe I'm just a whimp, but I truly wish I had the wondrous spunk you have. It really is admirable.
Ashley: I can relate with the over-thinking thing. I may not think to much before I do something, but after the consequences of my actions are on the horizon, that's when the panic and dwelling sets in. I also think that the "everything in moderation" thing applies nicely to decisions because as you said, too many of the same choices leads to either a very boring or a very reckless life. Overall, I agree with some of your ideas and I really appreciate the ones that hadn't even crossed my mind. :)
In Reply to Becca: I know. I feel like my entire blog post was completely wishy-washy and just me rambling about how I don't know becuase I can't make definite decisions about change. It's okay. I understand.
ReplyDeleteConnie: Your thought process is not pathetic, at all. I go through the same thing because I’m really indecisive as well. It’s probably because we’re so afraid of making the wrong decision. So many options just stresses us out even more. “But I like to believe that my impulsive decisions come from a place in my soul that truly wanted to opt in that direction.” I love this line. This is so cliché but I think intuition and “following your heart” can get you far.
ReplyDeleteKendall: Your definitely hold anything back in your post, and that’s what I enjoy. Most of us would never reveal specific bad decisions that we’ve made. We’re too afraid of being judged. But anyways, I’m glad that you trust in yourself a lot more now to make the right decisions. And of course, positive changes will follow. I think that’s how you know when you’ve made the right decision or bad. It’s like a “what goes around, comes around” kind of thing.
Ashley: “Ultimately when I make a choice, it’s usually about a mixture of my thoughts/needs/mindset of the moment mixed with the beliefs I have.” This is exactly right. When you’re stressed or angry, impulsive decision is more likely to go wrong. But who knows? Maybe it’ll be a good thing, because you’re willing to step out your comfort zone and try something new.
Dan:
ReplyDeleteYour puns make me chuckle. Anyway, I, too, don't want my age to change. Right now, all of our opportunities are in front of us, far enough away that we can still dream of the endless possibilities, yet so close that we can nearly taste it. What will life be like when our major choices are behind us, and nearly all we can see is regret? I agree with you that we must keep changing, even when we're scared. It keeps our lives interesting and our minds open.
I had lived in some house in Galloway for all my life until I moved to Mays Landing in the middle of sixth grade. I did not want to move. But it was my parents’ choice where we lived, not mine of course. Sixth grade was the most miserable time of my life, but then the people I befriended in seventh grade changed my life. I began to change. Pre-Mays Landing, I was antisocial and had the lowest self-esteem possible, but now I have many awesome friends, I’m happy with myself, and I’m quite involved in school. I’m not going to lie, my move to Mays Landing was probably the best thing that happened to me.
ReplyDeleteHowever, a good amount of my friends probably know that I want to leave Mays Landing so badly, and that I want to go to a big college with thousands and thousands of people in some city in the east coast that isn’t Philadelphia. Well, they may not know all of that, but they get the idea. I want to explore the world, and I want to get out of this house. I feel like I already know everyone in Oakcrest, even though that’s obviously not true. I feel like there’s nothing ever new, and I want to escape from that. I’ve complained many a time about how Philly is dirty, but the real reason I don’t want to go to college there is because it’s too close to Mays Landing and I already go there often.
I want change because it is my only escape from the problems that wear away at me in Mays Landing. No, it’s really not that bad here. It’s just my parents that cause me trouble. Well, one parent in particular. Change will be my freedom and a source of new happiness and opportunities.
While I undoubtedly yearn for change, there is a part of me that is a bit reluctant. I suppose the things that I’ve become use to are quite sentimental to me. And within me there is a little fear that change may be detrimental. What if my dreams don’t all come true? What if I’m worse off than before? But nonetheless, I welcome change more than reject it. Change always brings some surprises, but it’s something I must face if I want to see my life get better. My change of scenery to Mays Landing had brought me phenomenal benefits. But I don’t want to stay unchanging, and stay here for many years like I had in Galloway. In order to progress, I need change.
I’m not as confident with my choices. Before I make a choice, I imagine the pro’s and con’s of each decision and act accordingly. However, I always tend to stay on the safe side. I’m not a risk taker and I don’t exactly enjoy this about myself. I often regret my choices and wish I had picked the riskier one, and yet, when I’m face to face with a decision, I am always reluctant to take a risk. Of course this is not because I dislike change or anything, because as I said before, I welcome it. My “safeness” is not because I am avoiding change, it is because I am avoiding sudden change. I think I need at least a little bit of mental preparation before I face a change. I can ease myself into change if I touch the waters with my toes first - like all the college research I’m doing. But dive right in? That’s a little much for me.
Nyamekye: I know what you mean when you say to feel “stifled” at Oakcrest. I feel it too. But I don’t agree that there’s “nothing diverse” about Oak. Yeah, we’re not the most incredibly amazingly diverse school ever, but I still think there’s a good amount of diversity here. Oak isn’t one of those “everyone is white” schools and there’s plenty of recent immigrants and foreign exchange students from a large array of countries here.
ReplyDeleteBobby: You have a very “go with the flow” attitude, and I kind of admire that. I’d love to live life so relaxed, but unfortunately I always find a way to stress myself out. I liked your last paragraph the most, it was very well said. Keep on doing what you’re doing!
Mikey G: I don’t really consider myself a good decision maker, but I do share that enjoyment of leading for the same reasons. I’ve realized that I have pretty good judgement (especially compared to many people) and it makes me happy that I can help people with this. However, different from you, I’m pretty good at picking movies to watch!
Choice is exactly like being stabbed with a knife.
ReplyDeleteIt is very quick and unpleasant, and after this you will lie on the floor for a while in considerable pain, and then you will slowly bleed out, and you will cry and curse some unfathomable god and then you will be dead and it will all end in oblivion.
This is how I make choices. More or less.
The process of making choices is so excruciating and interminable that really it’s probably driven me quite mad, and by now most choices start and end in the same way.
It starts at now, with whatever minor problem or fork in the road or twist in the turn, and at first it will be a nice, straight path, a venture forth from now to examine then, what kind of consequences or rewards lurk in the clearing at the end of the grove, when suddenly the path splits again, and suddenly the variables are flooding in and there are fifty paths now and it turns out I’m in a labyrinth and my brain is spinning so fast the sprockets are flying out and the gears are gnashing and crashing and breaking down and I’m not even looking at the consequences anymore but I’m trying to get to any exit and then I realize whatever choice I make now will eventually end in death anyway so it really doesn’t matter in the long one.
Sometimes using your brain is more trouble than it’s worth because you can’t get the damn thing to STOP.
And sometimes I try to avoid this and just pick one option without any consideration.
Either way no choice is ever the right one and I end up regretting it until I end up forgetting it.
On change: Change is the root of all good and the root of all evil. Change is everything. People who say they want change don’t mean that, they mean they want the outcome that change will deliver on them. They want to take change and bend it to their own purposes, they want SOMETHING to change, but you can’t do that, because once one thing changes everything changes, because change is a force like chaos and a chain reaction and you can’t control it, and once you change one thing it just self-perpetuates.
The world is so full of force just flowing around everywhere all the time that no wonder people are scared, no wonder they long for the status quo to stay the same, because it’s an unreachable ideal, and just the leaves blowing past a sidewalk during the day are a change that, if most people thought about, they wouldn’t be able to handle. The world is always changing so fast and with such magnitude that any change you could wish to throw out into the maelstrom would be absolutely dwarfed in comparison, and THAT is the scary thing. How can I even begin to know about what to change? How does anyone know about anything?
I’m constantly immersing myself in change I know of and change I don’t know of and it creeps me the hell out and it’s beautiful and good night.
I know that everyone loves a fence-sitter and that's what I'm going to do here. There are some things I want to change and then there are some things that I don't ever want to change. When I think change, I think new opportunities and a place to broaden my horizons. As much as I live good ol' Mays Landing, I'm getting tired of it. I love traveling so much and part of that is probably because I'm so tired of being in the same place. I guess you can compare me to Polly Prince from Along Came Polly, a little stir crazy. It's awesome to be in a new place. New restaurants, new people, new everything, it's all just new. I want the changes to teach me new things about life and add to the great experiences I've already had.
ReplyDeleteBut, on the other hand, I hate the thought of change all at the same time. I hate not being comfortable, I hate not having a plan. I don't want to be like Polly Prince and be on the "no-plan" plan. I love where I am because, well, it's not only where I am, it's who I am. This area is all I've ever known and the people here are the only people I've ever known. I'm afraid that I won't enjoy the change. I'm afraid I'm going to lose the friends that I've loved so much all my life. I'm afraid that not seeing my family all the time could really affect me. As a class-A mama's boy, I'm hoping none of this happens, but it very well could.
You speak of this process that your mind goes through when you make a choice? This is foreign to me, I no can understand what you speak of. If my peers haven't already noticed, I don't have much of a thought process, stuff just happens. I just say what comes out, I just do what I do, off the cuff. There is no line to cross, there is no filter covering my mouth, my mind has, well, a mind of its own, and he does what he wants. It's safe to say that I am the one who dives in and hopes the water isn't too cold, which is weird because I'm the complete opposite when it comes to jumping in water. I'm not quite sure why I do what I do, other than the fact that it makes me, me. If I was a quiet little conservative boy, I probably would be named Tony or something, not Garret.
This planet is full of new experiences, new people and new choices. We have so much to do in such a little time! That’s what is so appealing about change to me. I just want to see everything and do everything that can possibly be done and seen in this short time we are given.
ReplyDeleteI didn’t always think this way. I remember when I was moving to Mays Landing. I cried my eyes out the night before and begged and pleaded in hope that my mom would change her mind and we would stay in Atlantic City. I used to hate the idea of change. I thought if I was comfortable with my surroundings there is no need to change. But there is! There is so much to do and it’s time to start! It’s not just about leaving Mays Landing. I really don’t have such a big problem with it, I actually really like it here. I’m glad I moved here because of all of the experiences I’ve had here. But now I crave for more. I crave to meet some more new people. I crave to see more things that I have never seen before. I mostly just love the idea of change because I want to live a life that wasn’t just in a little closed off bubble. In the end I want to know that I did everything that could have possibly been done.
When I make decisions I make them based on how I am feeling at the moment. When I am angered about something I make really stupid decisions based on no logic. I do it because at the moment it just seems right and i could honestly care less about anyone or anything that it affects. But if I am calm and faced with a decision, I think about everything. I actually over think quite a bit at that point. I think about what will happen, who it will happen to, what is the right thing to do. In the end I usually make decisions that will make me happy and won’t hurt the people around me either. I always try to make the “right” choice and still live in the moment and try to do everything and experience everything so I don’t regret it in the end.
I totally agree with your entire first paragraph, it just about sums up my blog response in just a few words. Also didn't know you came from A.C, welcome to Mays Landing my friend.
DeleteI’ve never moved before. Well, I’ve never been able to comprehend moving. So I’ve been in the same house for probably 16 years now. The most we’ve had is a few renovations and an addition for my grandparents. That was an interesting change, but it wasn’t much. It’s just more people now, and a cool place to watch whatever big sports events on TV (especially because it’s close to the bar). I suppose one of the bigger changes I’ve experienced is going from middle school to high school. And I’ll be damned if I’m not used to this change already.
ReplyDeleteThe point is change hasn’t exactly been my cup of tea. I’ll have the constantly-the-same green tea, with a dash of honey please. Although I’m not sure I really want that tea anymore. It’s nice and all, with everything being predictable. I can expect to come home to the same people and place every day. I can expect to go to the same place every week day (save for those days off) and do something or other that’s pretty much the same as every other day. But I want something new, in a way. I go to Latin class and we screw around until Kennedy pulls it together and makes us do work for a day. I go to Lang and we do Lang stuff, with occasional discussions, which are nice. I go to Chemistry and learn or take tests. Calculus is the same deal. History is more exciting, but also the same deal. Physics is like Latin, except Seaman is cooler and lets me read. And then gym. The most redundant, black-hole-of-time class I have. There’re the labs that mess around with my schedule a bit, but those are the same every week. Again, change isn’t really my cup of tea. But this schedule is wearing on me, in a way.
I feel like a whiny baby now, because the schedule changes every year for me. Some people experience zero change, doing the same work day in and day out for years. That doesn’t change how I feel about change, but at least I’m given a nice taste of perspective.
So we’ve got the big change coming up in about a year. A little more, really. And that’s college. So, after experiencing not much change at all I’m going to change my environment, the people I come “home” to, and the way I live. And I have barely any idea what to expect. My only comparable experience was jazz camp at Rowan University, which, to be honest, wasn’t all that bad. But it was only four days, and that’s not much compared to the centuries spent in college. Am I looking forward to college? Sure. Am I nervous? Well, yes. But I’ve always dived into change headfirst, with what little change I’ve had. It’s worked so far. So I’ll just dive into this change, and see where it gets me.
Onward to choices. Sometimes they’re just instinctive or so casually made that there is no thinking beforehand. But then there’re the choices that require some attention and a process. I always think through some of the consequences. Not all of the consequences, because I don’t really think things through that well. But instead I think “Well, what am I getting now as opposed to later?” And sometimes it’s as simple as putting off homework for friends or books. And I don’t even consider what work I’ll have to do later, but just enjoy what I’m doing at the moment. It always comes back to bite me in the ass, but some days I just don’t have enough cares to give. And I trudge on through my work, into the wee hours of the morning. Rarely do I actually start homework at home until 7 or so. But I always quickly think about the consequences of doing that before choosing procrastination. Now that I think about it, I don’t really weigh the consequences of what I’m doing against the benefits. That’s bad, but I’m going to choose to care later.
So I’m not used to change but willing to go through with it, and I jump headfirst into decisions, aware of the consequences but not really considering them. I don’t think I’ve ever sounded so reckless in my entire life.
Becca: You are so right, change is so appealing but scary at the same time. But change is all apart of life. I think change will not make you lose who you are but make you into the amazing person that I am sure you will be when you grow up. :)
ReplyDeleteAmber: Oh my gosh! “If I tapped one side of the computer desk with my foot, God forbid, I’d immediately have to tap the other side. I wouldn’t want to favor one side.” I used to do the exact same thing when I was little. I thought that the table would be really upset if I didn’t do it on both sides.
Bobby: Hahaha! Bobby Kelly White Boy Fresh Jr? that was funny. But anyways, I really enjoy your feel on life. You have everything planned out yet still go with the flow. I really envy that.
Amber: From time to time, I find myself balancing out my actions with the other side of my body. Scratch my right ear with my left hand, scratch my left ear with my right hand. I'm pretty sure that this blonde connection is stronger than we previously thought...
ReplyDeleteDom: I remember talking to you about branching off away from the people you know now and meeting new people. It's really weird how Ms. Bunje always seems to pick blog topics that fit in with our lives (or mine at least).
Schuyler: You're funny. You write blogs about yourself. Therefore, your blogs are funny. Is that a syllogism? I think so.
Dom - You owned up to being a "fence sitter" and I know that in some ways, we're all guilty of it. But that doesn't change he strength of your voice and your opinions. Also i'm glad to see that someone here is like me, in that we are both impulsive! It has its ups and downs...
ReplyDeleteBobby - I wasn't surprised to find your whole WHITE BOY FRESH thing in there... but "on some real", i'm perplexed that you find it to be a simple concept to just "know whats right"...I'm so lost when it comes to knowing and feeling. I wish this could apply to me, but somehow, it doesn't. I want to learn!
Hira - Your blog touched on a sentiment that seems so obvious that I didn't even consider it - how change can evoke different feelings over time. At first you hated the idea of moving to Mays Landing, and now you couldn't imagine your life any other way. It's funny how the aspect of "change" can mold us into different people, or simply mold our opinions.
Change has become an everyday occurrence since I've been born, and with the constant updates of technology. Over the past 3 years alone, hundreds of new cell phones and other electronics have been created to meet our everyday needs. I'm all for technological change. It's the future that we're living in and it doesn't seem to be slowing down anytime soon. This type of change, I can seem myself liking as technology advances even more. The type of change I despise, is on a much smaller scale, and affects me more, personally. We all follow the same schedule each and every day. We hang out with the same people, eat with the same people, and go home to the same people. I perfectly okay with this process until I graduate. Once I graduate, it's a whole new story. However, the few colleges I have visited have opened my eyes up to the college life. In some ways, I can't wait, in most ways, I'm dreading it. The idea of "growing up" is a scary topic to think about and one that no one has the answer to. I hope to continue to have the same friends through college, and even beyond that. I think what concerns me the most, is not knowing what's going to happen next. I like to know upcoming situations so I have a way to react.
ReplyDeleteThe choices I make usually depend on the situation that arises. The day *we* had skipped, we thought of the possible outcomes, but in the end, the reaction that followed wasn't one that we had come up with. Usually when I'm in the heat of the moment, I don't think about future occurrences, instead, I just go with my first thought. When I have a bit of time to think of reactions, I "usually" make the right decision.
Olivia's comment to Bobby: This is just what I got from your reply: I believe that you're assuming that Bobby is dead set on his future. As teenagers, our minds are constantly developing and our opinions always change. I had no idea Bobby wants to move to Hawaii, but, in a month, he may decide to be an author..
Bobby: I'd rather your rap career blossom than you live in a tent on the beach. But hey, it's your life. I liked the way you had introduced your future plans into your answer. It was a good way to respond to the blog.
Connie: As Garret said, I practically hear you read your blog response. Your voice in your writing is incredible, and it has been all year. Your blog was very well thought out, and I agree with some of the things you said.
Cole: To be honest here, I think you'll adapt well to a college environment. The ability to adapt to change is part innate, and part learned, it seems. So, the more change you come in contact with, the better prepared you'll be to handle it.
ReplyDeleteGarret: I'm sure that everyone in twelfth period lang has seen the impulsive side of you. We've also had some crazy discussions come out of your impulsive speech, which I think is totally awesome.
Kendall: I can relate to you in so many ways. Maybe not the moving stuff, but I know that I've made some choices in my life that may be considered unfavorable by many. It's crazy to see my old friends who used to be so chill turn into druggies. So I definitely know the feeling. It seems that I've seen the same transformation that you have, and it is the best feeling ever to know that you've made progress in life. So, yeah, I relate to your journey quite a bit.
Afraid of change? I hardly think that applies to me.
ReplyDeleteAfraid of choosing incorrectly? Indubitably.
I roll with the punches fairly well, as far as I know. To really say whether or not I fear change is a little bit premature because I haven't experienced a whole lot of it. I've lived in the same house my entire life, and my core family dynamics have remained mostly the same save for the departure of my eldest brother. Despite the lack of reference material I have in regards to change, I still don't think I fall into the category of those who fear change. The prospects of my near future, moving out to college and finding new friends, don't scare me nearly as much as they should. I don't fear the change itself, change is healthy and good and I'm looking forward to my new opportunities. But I don't seek change either, I don't actively look to change my life, I simply know what I want and do what I can to get it. That's why I like change, change(for my future at least) means freedom as well as responsibility, it means a fresh start and a fresh life. I don't seek change because I'm happy with what I have, but I don't fear change because I'm confident enough to know that I can get what I want and what I need in any environment.
By contrast, fear of choice is my Achilles' heel. I don't like the phrase “what if?” because of how may times it fills my head when I'm thinking about the plurality of decisions I've made or need to make. Baseball would be a great example of this, if I could think of a relatable example that didn't require an intimate understanding of pitch selection and plate approach. So I won't use a direct baseball example, but I will mention that much of my post-decision agony comes from baseball. Just FYI. A better example would be another James Townley being-afraid-to-ask-out-women parable, but that would just be repeating myself. I could also bring up the great amount of agony I went through when I was worried about whether the major I was interested in was what I was really interested in and not just something I was compelled to do. Or I could relate the anxiety I'm having over whether I want to go to a summer program at Upenn or at Stanford. Who knows? I could even babble for a while about the sheer amount of worry I've swallowed simply deciding whether or not to retake the SATs! Basically I am the worriest wart of all the worrywarts and you're all just going to have to deal with that.
So when all this worry collapses on me, what do I do.
1. Weigh every option
2. Weigh every option again
3. Think of new options to weigh
4. Repeat steps 1-3 until a decision is made for me or I make a rash choice and just live with it
The fortunate thing is that most of my rash choices have worked out pretty well, so I guess I'll manage to survive even with all these neuroses.
*gasp* Am I late?! …Oh, who am I kidding? Of course I am.
ReplyDeleteI don’t fear the future. I’d like to think that, no matter what, I will always be able to accept all aspects of my destiny – both the known and the unknown – with open arms. I do believe in destiny, by the way. Not destiny in the mystical sense, but in the deterministic sense – it just makes sense that everything that occurs in the universe occurs because of what happens in the moments preceding any certain event. These reactions causing reactions causing reactions can be traced back to the universe’s first reaction: the Big Bang. That’s called deterministic causality. Replace “Big Bang” with “God,” and you have Deism, a pseudo-religion followed by the likes of Thomas Paine.
So let’s say causality/Deism/destiny is a universal truth. What does this imply? For one thing, it breaks the illusion of free will. In this regard, it also means that we are not responsible for any of our actions (if you ever get caught red-handed, remember to blame the Big Bang)! However, to fit the context of this post, what it mostly means is that change is inevitable. I have been given the curse of existing in a dimension in which time can only be observed through one angle: really slowly in the right order (to quote a famous Doctor). I’m going to say this as clearly and matter-of-factly as possible: I, personally, don’t get a lot of opportunities to view life from an alternate perspective – to live vicariously, as it were. The passage of time – and the constant change that comes with it – delivers unto me a plethora of opportunities to alter my vantage point on my uncontrollable fate, even if there is nothing I can do about it.
The choices I make are not actually mine. As previously stated, I believe that free will is an illusion – nothing more and nothing less. However, when I “exhibit” my “free will” by being faced with a choice, I tend to lean towards the choice that would result in the benefit of as many people as possible. If I see someone drop a pen, I prefer to pick it up and return it to him or her. This decision results in two satisfied parties rather than one, and that is how I like to live my life. I most certainly always make sure to weigh all of the possible outcomes when making a decision, no matter how minimal or insignificant it may be. So what if my decisions are predetermined and ultimately meaningless in terms of the universe? I like it when things turn out the way I want them to, and the easiest way to guarantee that is to attempt to make the people around me as happy as possible. That way, I have more happy people to emulate in my everyday life.
James: Oh snap! You got in just two minutes before me! Good show, man. Good show. Also, you've got nothing to lose that makes it worth not attempting something. If you see something you want, you get on that biz and damn the consequences. Manifest destiny the crap out of your life.
ReplyDeleteSchuyler: I particularly enjoy your blunt (sharp?) use of surprisingly realistic metaphors. I think your pertained pessimism (which oblivious ol' me can't be bothered to ascertain as sarcastic or not) has something positive to bring to the table - there's a lot of truth in your freaky, freaky words.
Dominique: It's not confusing at all. In fact, I think I can relate to a lot of your viewpoints, in that it's better to just choose something rather than worry about the consequences of being "wrong."
Schuyler- Choices suck I agree, but I rarely find them to be quick. I am more experienced with the slow, agonizing buildup of a pending choice, the kind of choice that comes with a deadline (literal or perceived). This choice is far worse because it leads to the incredible quantity of waffling that is nowhere near as delicious and syrup-covered as it ought to be, and is instead emotionally taxing and frankly a strain on everyone around the waffler. Quick choices exist as well, and they come with the buyer's remorse we call regret, which tickles our taste buds with the maple-syrup that could have been if only we had chosen differently. I'm now thoroughly distracted and hungry, congratulations.
ReplyDeleteMatt- This is the one thing I've always admired about you that I could never really accomplish myself, decisiveness. I like planning far too much for my own good, the ability to make snap decisions has never been my strong point in life or baseball, and it has cost me run-scoring opportunities in both (If you know what I mean). I wish I could steal this ability from you, perhaps by storing it in a baseball like in Space Jam. Great, now I need to eat waffles and watch Space Jam.
Amber- I'd merely like to apologize for stealing you're concept of a numbered thought process, that is all.
George- The duality of consequences for any decision is partially what makes these decisions so agonizing for me, I need not only weigh my near but also my distant future in each decision I make. Sometimes my immediate happiness trumps my long-term goals, other times my long-term goals trump my immediate desires, balancing these conflicting measures is not something I'm good at, so I suffer. Hopefully you're a little better than I am, for the sake of your free will.
In the beginning of the year, Bunje, you touched on the benefit of change when you explained how you would make us periodically sit in different parts of the room. Just as moving seats and gaining a different perspective would help us in class, I find that translates to the much larger scale of life.
ReplyDeleteI'm not a routine person. I just don't work like that. Waking up at specific times every day becomes increasingly difficult as the periods of my life progress. My face gets used to the same face wash ridiculously quickly, forcing me to switch it up every couple of weeks to effectively fight those goddamn imperfections. I hate already knowing what's going to happen without even needing confirmation.
It's hard to properly imagine my future, because I can't see myself settling in one place doing one thing. There are so many occupations to hold, locations to live in. So many experiences, and I think I would be doing myself and the world a disfavor if I didn't take advantage of that.
Without change, I am not exhausting all the opportunities I am blessed with. Without change, there is no chance for progression. Without change, I could be at the end of my life pondering all the "what ifs".
How I make my choices depends very much on the situation at hand. However, I am more comfortable in making decisions based from the heart rather than head. Spontaneous decisions and "living life on the edge" is how I prefer to get things done. I am and will always be that person you can call last minute and propose some ridiculous plan, and I'm all for it. Granted, it doesn't involve anything too illegal or lethal. But last minute friend, that's all me.
Unfortunately, I over analyze everything, and so probably perform better under circumstances in which time does not allow for thinking. I have a core set of values, which serve as a quick reference guide, and as long as I have that and less than 2 minute to make a decision, I'm good.
Finally, I am very indecisive, and so I mostly try to go with the flow. "These are the seasons of emotion, and like the winds they rise and fall." I just go wherever the winds take me.