Monday, February 27, 2012
I Think; Therefore, I AM.
There is an old proverb that says, basically, if you cannot ask you cannot live.
Well, it sounds deeper and more profound than that but I can't think of the exact wording.
Carefully consider the questions below, and do your best to reflect and answer them as honestly as possible.
1. What am I grateful for?
2. Am I honest?
3. What do I need to change about myself?
4. Do I know what my talents are and do I utilize those talents?
5. When I help someone, do I think, "what's in it for me?"
Again, answer honestly--no one will judge you, especially me. In fact, I will answer them too.
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Most nights before I go to bed, in a very meditative way, I think about all the things I am grateful for. When I do this, I find myself strolling down endless roads of pleasure and satisfaction. There really are so many things I’m grateful for, and I constantly find new ones. Some are small, like a conversation I had with someone, or a wave I received from someone. Others are much larger, like my academic success or a lifelong friend. Others are quite materialist, sentimental, and even negligible, but nonetheless, worthy of contemplation. I never allow myself to dwell on the things I don’t have or will never have. My thoughts are solely concentrated on what I already have and what I’m striving for. Some people will call that Law of Attraction, but for me, it’s just a self-confidence boost. Whether it is a shirt or a sister, thinking about sources of gratefulness is a very powerful tool.
ReplyDeleteI’m honest… sometimes. Different situations breed different behaviors, and I’m no exception to the rule. As a general rule of thumb, my honesty depends on the possible gain of the situation. If lying will bring me more benefits in a given situation, of course I’ll lie. If lying or being truthful have equal benefits, I figure “why not tell the truth”. To me life is a game, and lying is just one of the tricks and moves in the game. Do I feel bad when I lie? Absolutely, I’m not a soulless monster; but I am human. I acknowledge that I lie, but my lying has no tremendous adverse effects upon anyone. If it did, I wouldn’t tell lies (no, that’s not a lie). I tell little fibs; it makes life interesting, no harm done.
The most productive times of my life and been the most dreadful, and the most careless times of my life have been the most enjoyable. Who I want to be and who I should be are questions I’m still trying to piece together (I probably will be for my entire life). Sometimes I wish I was more outgoing, but yet, being outgoing gets me into trouble. Sometimes I think I need to be more hard-working, but the tends to only bring stress and disappointment. Honestly, none of us NEED to change anything about ourselves. I can manage through life being whoever I please. Granted, little adjustments would help, but no one “needs” to change.
I’m pretty good at school, but so are all of us. I’m pretty athletic and do a sport, but again, so do most of you. When I think of “talent” I think of a trait or attribute that stands out of the masses. Compared to you all, I’m pretty average. I haven’t really found what my talents are. Perhaps this is the failure of the education system, but it also might be my own. Perhaps I haven't explored enough to find a talent that really makes me different from everyone else. The closest thing I have to a “talent” is being skilled in school (so lame, I know), and obviously I utilize that everyday. I’m going to a college (probably some overpriced fancy university) to “utilize” my talents, but is that really “utilizing” my talents at all? Maybe when the time comes for me to actually be an adult and get a job my talents will be of use, but until then, I’m for the most part “talentless”.
ReplyDeleteFor whatever reason (probably from reading too much Robert Greene) I can’t help but see opportunities to help as strategic occasions. I always think before I help; it’s largely an unconscious reaction. Perhaps I see life as too much of a game to honestly help others. If you ever ask me for help on homework, I’m thinking “Alright, so even though I’m going to have to invest a couple minutes into this, it will probably become worth it when I need help from them someday.” And if I see the salvation army I think “Well, I do love money, but by putting some change in the bucket I’ll fell better about myself and have a clear conscious. Besides, I don’t want to look like a jerk” All of this is unconscious for the most part, but it doesn’t make me a bad person. I’m always ready to donate, and always willing to help others (even though it is to either get a favor in return or clear my conscious). So despite what goes on inside my head, I’m still a pretty helpful person, or so at least I think so. I always question “What’s in it for me?”, but I always manage to find something that IS in it for me. Does that make it all right? It does to me.
What am I grateful for? A million things are running through my head right now. I'm grateful for the obvious things, Kayla (all my siblings really), a roof over my head, food on the table etc. But I'm also grateful for the small things. They're actually not that small to me. Like jokes, even more so the little puns James tells in class. Anything that brings laughter I am grateful for. Its such a beautiful thing. For those few moments, throwing your head back and belting out an obnoxious noise, is all that matters. For those few moments you are genuinely happy. Nothing else matters. Something, or someone, has completely grabbed your attention and ran with it. This absence, or relief, of everything in the world but that joke, that laugh, or even that smile, I am grateful for.
ReplyDeleteAm I honest? Ha, I don't know. I try to be. But doesn't everyone? I don't think I've completely been so though. I mean, I've cheated on boyfriends before. Probably extremely low of me. That's one of the worst things you can do in a relationship. Betraying someone's trust and disrespecting them completely. But then again, I'm a teenager, those relationships were a while ago and weren't really serious. I've probably cheated on a test, quiz, or homework in my life too. I don't know if those things really count in the grand scheme of things though. I don't tell large elaborate lies about my life to other people. And I've never lied to the point where I couldn't keep up with myself. Just little white lies I guess. Like to my parents, actually now that I think about it, I've lied to my parents a lot. Sorry if I'm contridicting myself here, I'm sort of running with the keyboard, and the more I think the more lies I remember. Anyway, my parents. The things I've lied to them about are probably serious; sex, drinking, smoking (remeber, no judging!). I do feel bad when I'm lying though, but then again maybe not if I keep doing it. Like this past summer, my brother failed a drug test. Busted! And as he shamefully got caught smoking weed, I nervously joked with my mom about it. I'm glad I didn't have to eat my own words. I believe it's definatly in a teenager's blood to lie to their parents at one point or another, no matter what the situation may be. Let it be drugs or a simple test grade. But I digress. Am I honest? Not really, I try to be, but I don't think anyone is.
What do I need to change about myself? Ha, I can already predict some answers to this question now, "I wouldn't change anything!". But come on get real, everyone can use a few changes. These changes especially happen now, as were trying to find ourselves. I know I definatly made a few this year. I needed to stop going out every weekend and I needed to really buckle down this year. I remember last year I was just boy crazy going off with my teenage girl hormones, but I've put my priorities in check since then. I've changed. School first. My weekends are spent writing papers and studying for whatevers to come. Perhaps I've gone over board though. I'm constantly stressed or anxiety ridden. Now I need to relax. I guess I should start searching for a balance between the two.
Do I know what my talents are and do I utilize those talents? Maybe I'm being modest, or maybe I'm pathetic, but I truly don't know what my talents are. I'm not a math genius or good with chemical equations. I seem to simply be average in both subjects. I'm not an extraordinary writer, I'm sure Bunj doesn't go crazy over my work. I can't draw, sing, dance etc. I don't have some hidden talent waiting to shine, at least I don't think. Wow, this is depressing, I feel that's all I am, an average high school teen. And that's such a scary thought. Why would anyone want to be like someone else? I don't know. I think there might be something there, I just haven't found it yet, because I certainly refuse to think I'm normal.
ReplyDeleteWhen I help someone, do I think, "Whats in it for me?" Absolutely not! And I hate people who do. Well I shouldn't say that because then I'd hate everyone. You don't need a personal incentive for helping someone out. You are HELPING them. Its time you've taken out of your day to make somone else's day. I think that feeling of satisfaction is enough. The one that leaves you with a small smile on your face and fills your heart up with joy. You know for that moment that you've made somone happy. You've relieved them of at least an ounce of stress. Personally, with that feeling, I dont need to ask, "Whats in it for me?"
This blog really made me think, good job Bunj! :) Now, disecting my answers, I'm trying to figure out what it all means. I'm an average girl, or not, who truly appreciates a good laugh. I'm not perfect. I lie, maybe a lot. But I just want to be happy, and I want to Ieave my mark in the world, but I'll settle for simply leaving one on someone's life.
Since kindergarten, every time around Thanksgiving we’re asked what we’re grateful for. It seems like the question is overdone, I’ve gotten it every year, and even though it’s nice to reflect on what you’re truly grateful for, the answers are always filled with BS. Yes, most of the time, we’re grateful for friends and family, shelter and food, those are the go-to answers. But, when I actually think about it, as sad as it sounds, I’m pretty sure a lot of us are also grateful for the things we have. The material things that people say we shouldn’t care about, but we do. I’ll admit I’m grateful for those things. I like things. I’m most grateful for the little pointless things in life. I’m grateful for people that make me laugh. I’m grateful for people who let me act like a complete fool, and let me go on mini rants about nothing. (Thanks Rach!) I’m even grateful for the fact that I can laugh, and just have fun. Lots of people wake up, and their lives are in danger, or they have to worry about what they’re going to eat, or where they’re going to sleep that night. I’m grateful that the things I have to worry about are petty little issues.
ReplyDeleteAs for the second question, I’d like to think I’m honest, but that is yet again, BS. When someone asks me for my opinion, I sugar coat it. I don’t tell half the people I interact with, what I think when they open their mouths. I compliment people; I say nice things, when in my head I’m actually thinking the opposite. Why? Because I don’t want to seem like a complete bitch. There are thoughts that I have about people, which I’d just rather not reveal. I’d rather them think I like them, then to open my mouth and let them find out my true emotions. I don’t know why I don’t want them to know what I think. It probably goes back to the whole fitting in thing. If I told everyone what I thought about them, all the time, I’d have no friends. And that’s not fun.
Question number three, is probably the thing I dwell on all the time. I feel like, I always look at my flaws. I am my own worst critic. I’m kind of glad people can’t read minds(…let’s hope not) because if people could hear the things I think to myself, I’d probably end up in an insane asylum or on suicide watch. I need to change my personality. I need to stop having trust issues. I need to stop keeping a barrier between anyone. I need to start being more open and accepting to others. I need to stop judging people based on their opinions. I need to stop pushing people who care for me away. I need to stop restricting myself, and open myself up to different things in this life. I need to stop letting other people control my life. I need to stop letting people get the best of me. I could go on with the things I would like to change about myself. All my flaws, however leads me into my next topic.
Going back to being my own worst critic, I don’t really think I have any talents. I’m good, decent, at a couple of things, but I wouldn’t consider them talents. Just because I’m decent at something wouldn’t make it a talent. At least not in my eyes. Perhaps, I haven’t discovered what my talents are yet, and that’s why I don’t think I have any. And so, I would say that, no, I’m not using my talents correctly. Because well…I don’t know what they are.
ReplyDeleteI’m in a youth group; we do a lot of community service. I also tutor people, sometimes I get paid for tutoring, but other times I don’t. When I’m helping at the food bank, or talking to little girls about their dreams and aspirations, I’m not doing it because I want something out of it. I’m not doing it because I can put community service hours on my college application. I didn’t join my youth group, to bulk up my resume. In fact, it was sort of pushed on me. At first I was reluctant; I’m not good in groups of strangers. But over time I’ve gotten close to the people that are in my youth group, and learned a lot along the way. I’ve learned a lot about people, and I think it’s made me a better person. I’ve always kind of been into helping others. My dad was in the Peace Corps, and he’s always preached about helping others in need. He gave up about 10 years of his life after college, travelling around underdeveloped nations and helping people, teaching them. And since he never forgets to remind me how selfish I am, I’ve always wanted to go and join the Peace Corps after college. I’ll not only help others in need, but I’ll be able to travel the world, killing two birds with one stone. So, in a sense, sometimes I’m not looking for a reward when I’m giving back, but I’ll admit other times I am. When I help my mom, or my grandma, or another relative, there’s always something in the back of my mind wondering what I’m getting out of it. It’s not always my fault though, I’ve always received a reward from my parents from doing something good, so I can’t help but think I’m going to get something out of it. It’s greedy, but it happens.
In the end, after answering these questions I’ve realized that maybe sometimes I’m a little too harsh on myself, and others. I have unrealistic expectations, some of which I need to bring back down to Earth.
The number of things I am grateful for is limited only to the number of words in my vocabulary. I’m grateful for everything, everything I can possibly imagine, because to me, it’s all a miracle. Life itself is a miracle. Specifically, I’m grateful for my parents, and for my family in general. They’ve done more for me than anyone in the world ever has. I’m grateful for my friends and for my boyfriend, who always seem to be there for me, even though I’m horribly neglectful to them. These magnificent people are my truest source of happiness, and the relationships I have with them are my proudest achievements. I’m grateful for freedom, freedom of all shapes and sizes. I’m grateful to live in exactly this time and place in history. I’m grateful for the person I was born as, and even more so for the person I have become.
ReplyDeleteI’ve been lying a lot lately. I’m not just talking about those little fibs everyone coughs up when they get nervous. I mean real, deceitful, mendacious lies. I lie most often to my parents. I keep so many aspects of my life hidden from my parents that they don’t even know who I am anymore. I lie least often to my friends, probably because I trust them not to see me or treat me any differently after I tell them they truth. Though there are still major parts of me that I keep hidden from them. But there’s a significant difference between explicitly lying and merely concealing a fact. In a way, though, they’re both forms of dishonesty. One way to reveal the truth while explicitly lying is through sarcasm, my ultimate rhetorical crutch. I use sarcasm when I don’t want to say how I really feel, but at the same time, I want to make it known. My dishonesty stems mainly from my social cowardice. In rare but increasingly more frequent moments, however, I am completely and absolutely honest with the world.
When I think about the amendments I need to make to my character, my heart drops, burdened by the thoughts of what I am not. I’m not that smart, not that funny, not that compassionate. I care too much about things I shouldn’t, and not enough about things I should. I’m lazy, unmotivated. I’m bad at making friends, and awful at keeping them. The list goes one. But just because I have a billion flaws doesn’t mean I have to change. I yearn to improve, but I yearn more deeply to be myself. And being myself means embracing those flaws, however difficult they may make my life. Therefore, there is only one way in which I want to change: I want to love who I am more. Once I do that, the rest will fall into place.
I define a talent as a positive, unique ability. I’m not sure what my talents are. I was talking to my friend Nyamekye recently about how difficult it is to spot the good in ourselves. I could make a list of at least ten positive attributes of anyone I know, but I could barely do the same for myself. But for the sake of this blog, and for the sake of my self-respect, I’ll try to call to mind my talents. I’m a good listener. I’m rather lighthearted. I can find humor in literally anything. I’m generally clever. I respect all people. I’m open-minded and will give just about anything a try. My passions are unique. I am unique. I try to utilize these talents as often as possible. I use my talent for finding humor to laugh. A lot. At everything. It’s an automatic mood booster. I use my talent for being open to new things to constantly lengthen my list of life experiences. Focusing on what I have to offer the world, rather than what I don’t, is what keeps me striving for my potential.
Of course I think about the benefits of helping others. But I see no shame in that. Only within the realm of my own mind do feelings matter. Everywhere else, actions take precedent. As long as I live a life devoted to making other people’s lives better, it doesn’t matter why I do it. All that matters is that people’s lives are improving. If I give a starving man a sandwich, he doesn’t care what my motivation is. He only cares that he’s less hungry than he was before I came along. Actions, not intentions, establish character.
1. Sitting here, typing away at my computer, I look at all the stuff that surrounds me: my computer (obviously), my cell phone, and a strawberry-banana yogurt cup (which I highly recommend). These things alone signify only a couple of the things I’m grateful for. As I look farther, my bed, my clothes, my lint roller (okay that’s random), and a misplaced box of cookies. “What the heck do these things even represent you freakin’ weirdo?” you might ask. My computer and cell phone represent all of the things that are unnecessary but also necessary at the same time, like eating a banana in public when you’re really hungry. The yogurt (seriously guys. It’s really good) represents the things that my parents do for me because they’re amazing. As for the clothes and bed, they signify the things that I have that some people don’t get to have because of their economic situations. The box of cookies fits in the category of miscellaneous because it really doesn’t belong in my room. I am grateful for all these things and more, even if sometimes I feel like I don’t deserve it.
ReplyDelete2. I don’t lie. At least, I don’t realize if I lie. My family members on my mom’s side are pathological liars. She also said that pathological lying was hereditary. Of course, that could be a lie, but how could I know? Or maybe I’m lying to you guys right now and you guys wouldn’t know it. Scary. I could be lying so much that I actually believe what I’m saying and spread my lies around. Yet again, I don’t think that I’m lying, so I can assure you that everything that you have just read is true or has some sort of truth to it. Like I said, I don’t lie because lying is wrong and deceitful, both of which are things that I try to avoid. I wouldn’t want people lying to me all the time, so why would I want to consciously do the same to other people?
3. I need to change how obnoxious I am. I may have curbed the obnoxiousness a little bit, especially since sixth grade (Ted would know best), but I can still improve. Improvement is a vital part of my life. I am always improving myself, whether I am improving academically, socially, intellectually, philosophically, or any other area of a teenager’s life. But the obnoxious thing is definitely one of my least favorite parts about myself, so that is why I decided to talk about changing that.
4. I guess since I am still young and inexperienced I don’t really know what my talents are, nor do I know how to utilize them. If I were to take a guess, I would say that my talents lie in critical thinking and emotional control. Of course, there are times that these things escape me like when I can’t seem to open the ketchup bottle (not that that ever happened before…). However, most of the time I hold these things true. Playing chess involves massive amounts of critical thinking, especially at the beginning of the game when all 32 pieces are still on the board. My emotional stoicism comes in handy when dealing with obnoxiously stupid and ignorant people. Rather than getting angry at them, I simply remain calm and let them explode, maintaining my sanity while getting a front row seat to a great show.
5. Helping people is kind of my favorite thing to do. However, I can’t recall ever thinking about the benefits of helping until after I do it. Whether it is something simple like taking my neighbor’s groceries inside for her or something arduous like trimming, mowing, fertilizing, mulching, and weeding the lawn for my dad when he is at college. Sometimes I have to think about the things that I have to sacrifice to help people, but it always seems okay in the end. I guess that is one of my more noble qualities.
These things were very intriguing. Thanks Bunj!
I am grateful for everything I have, and everyone who is there for me. I’m grateful for my family, my health, and the endlessness of open doors that my parents have provided for me. That’s not to say, however, that I don’t take these for granted sometimes. Because I do. Every petty fight that I start with my parents seems to end with my own guilty conscious, inwardly screaming “LOOK AT WHAT THEY DO FOR YOU EVERY DAY! HOW CAN YOU BE SO SELFISH?!” I take these things for granted when I complain about my mom’s thrifty grocery-shopping habits. Who am I to hold the lack of Doritos above her head when some of my peers barely get a proper meal each night? I can be so forgetful and so unfathomably selfish, hence being referred to as the family “princess” (negatively), but I scold myself harshly after most outbursts because I am truly grateful for what I have.
ReplyDeleteI am honest and I stick to my promises. I find that these two qualities go hand in hand, because they both predicate on one’s sincerity towards another. I have never been one to shy away from the truth that I feel, and I have probably offended or insulted many people in that process. When I was younger I had much less regard for the things I would say, but over the years I have allowed most opinions to rest as thoughts, unless asked for. Part of the problem is that I am the most judgmental and critical person you will ever know…I will judge you the second you appear to me, within the first sentence of your speech. I will mentally categorize you and it won’t take long for the presumptuous and pretentious areas of my psyche to feel that they have figured you out. It’s incredibly pathetic, and I am my harshest critic. I feel that people deserve the utmost honesty 100% of the time, including myself.
I read this third question and immediately think physical... instantly affirming the materialistic nature of my being. You told us to go for honesty here right? My mom always tells me that I should care more about other people, and I know that she is right. Like I said earlier, I have a tendency to be selfish, pretentious, judgmental, too honest. These are all pretty unlikeable qualities. They do not define me, of course. I know that I am so critical of myself to the point where I strive for unreachable perfection, and it only ends up breaking me down. Even with all these negatives, I know that most are inevitable, and their inevitability simply supports the homeostasis of any and every individual.
Talent. There are a few things I could mention that I’m particularly good at, but I don’t consider those things here. Talents are rare and individual. I learned a long time ago that no matter how good you are at something, there is always someone better than you. This truth did not hamper my pride or shoot down my willpower, but made me more rational towards progress and success. I believe that I have a great deal of mental strength. I can handle a tough schedule, I can handle stress, I can handle judgment, I can handle vigorous activity, I can handle hard work, I can handle the absolute maelstrom of my life. And that’s a lot. I know that there are plenty of people out there who share this ability (which sort of contradicts my idea of ‘talent’:P) but I feel that it is a quality that is obviously utilized and rarely regarded.
ReplyDeleteEven though I have spent a great deal of this post stressing my selfishness, I can answer this last question with one firm and definite response. No, I would never even consider personal gain/benefit when lending help to someone, especially a stranger. When my friends are concerned, I don’t expect benefits or rewards because a good friend will act without, and I pride myself upon being a true friend to all of mine. If a stranger were to request my help in any form, I will thoughtlessly feel obliged to give in. When I was very young I remember my mom sometimes picking up people hitch-hiking on the street. (I know, I know, it’s definitely not safe today and wasn’t much less safe 10 years ago but just read on…!!!) I often felt uncomfortable about it and one time frankly questioned her as to why she would let strangers in the car, when for years she had preached that I was to stay away from them. She said “I can see in their face that they mean well, I would never put you in danger.” Those words have stuck with me for a long time, and the reminder of her kindness has always provided me an inner push towards similar kindness, without expectation.
Well geez Bunje, I hope you never thought that I hold things back while writing these blogs. Honesty is the best policy, isn’t it? I don’t really feel like this is a group of kids who will necessarily judge me, and for that matter if anyone were to judge me I wouldn’t really be swayed. I would guess that the best way to intro this blog is to say that I’m grateful for my mistakes. I’m grateful for these because of a number of things:
ReplyDeleteI don’t live life with regrets, so mistakes don’t turn into regret.
It’s cliche, but you learn from mistakes.
Mistakes help remind me of my successes.
The third is definitely THE most important one. When you go through life, you can’t think of all your failures, you have to be able to hold your head high and recall all of the amazing accomplishments you’ve had and all the ones to come. A failure is only a failure in comparison to a success, and if you’re living life the right way you would have seen success in some form to compare your failure to or you know what success will be and are on your way to achieving it.
Now as far as honesty goes, I’m mostly honest. It’s not like I walk around telling big fat lies to everyone I see. If there is no true reason to lie, I will be truthful. I do believe, however, that a white lie here and there is healthy for the soul. This isn’t reserved to just telling someone that their dress doesn’t make them look fat when in reality they look like a pig that is about to explode. A good white lie can stretch as far as holding in an idea and lying about your actual beliefs on the subject to better your situation. Oh god, that sounds horrible. I’m not advising anyone to go out and destroy someone else’s dreams to your advantage, but if it is something that is harmless in all forms of the word and it can help you out, then hey, why not?
Oh crap, we have to actually pick something about us that needs changing? Well, to be honest I don’t find much about me that I want to change, nor do I really NEED to. If anything it would be making myself capable of working later into the night, because it would give me more hours in the day to be productive and recently I’ve felt like I won’t be able to get done everything I want to in life. I think that I have some pretty decent talents. I mean, heck I’m a drama kid. I can talk in front of a big crowd, which a lot of people apparently wish they could do. But the talent that I have that I think is more special and useful is my ability to lead. Not everyone can do it, and not everyone should. I’m pretty darn good at it though from when I’ve had to use that ability and I do so by showing others what they are capable of doing. I have to say that I work hard to be able to use that talent as much as possible.
This was somewhat mentioned before, but I do things to benefit myself. Someone needs to look out for me, and who else would be better at carrying out that task than myself? I don’t sit around pondering about what I can do to destroy everyone’s else’s chances for success, though. I think about how my actions will affect others. In the grand scheme of things, though, there is only so much time that we will have in this world. Everybody dies eventually. I plan on spending each moment of my life towards bettering myself, my situation, and obtaining all of my goals. For these reasons, I help others. Helping others makes it so that if you ever need someone to rely on for a “pick-me-up,” then there will be someone there to do so. I don’t think that what I do is selfish. I don’t even expect to ever get something in return if I do something for someone. If the time comes where I need help, I do know that there is a great number of people who would lend a helping hand.
Kendall, your blog was remarkably honest and personal and was a pleasure to read as always. I too have no idea what my talents are either, and I’m sure we’re not the only ones. You always have such a earnest tone, and it’s always nice to read your responses.
ReplyDeleteMimi, your blog was also quite revealing, but it was very well written. You had no censorship on your opinions, and it made you seem very straightforward and honest tone. Finally, yes, sometimes you are a little too harsh on yourself, we all are. It’s great that you included that in your final phrase.
Rachel, your blog had me at “The number of things I am grateful for is limited only to the number of words in my vocabulary”. This phrase was so creative and well-put, it really attracted my attention right from the start. You always tend to use simple phrases that have loads of meaning behind them, and that is one of the strongest attributes of your writing.
1. It always seems as though our English teachers give this question every year. I don’t know why, but it seems like a common occurrence. What I do know, is that my answer remains the same year, after year, after year. First I am grateful for my family, as obvious and trite as that sounds. Regardless of what I do, or what I say my family usually supports me. They give me shelter, love and a place to turn in both the worst and best of times. Although they may make bad decisions from time to time, I would never be here without them. The next thing I am grateful for are people in general. I enjoy talking. To some people you already know this, to other you might not. Anyways, talking to people allows me to think for myself. I hear all of the different views and the abstract ideas that are created and I can’t help but listen and soak in information. This leads me to my next “item.” I am grateful for information/thinking/learning. If I were to go through a single day without learning something new about the world or myself, I would be dead. Finally I am grateful for vision. The world is a dark and cruel place; however there is always room to see light in dark situations. The world can be beautiful if you make it that way. When I was a child I had serious vision problems, to say the least, and if I lost my vision permanently my whole world would be different…
ReplyDelete2. I like to think of myself as an honest person. Face to face I am a complete bitch to people, sometimes. I won’t lie and tell you that those jeans look good when you look like a caged whale. I feel like lying is being disgraceful to me. In public forum I might extend the truth or just plain out lie to save someone or myself from scrutiny. I don’t lie about my past. I don’t lie about who I am. If I don’t do my homework I don’t make up lame excuses as to what happened. I own up to my own life. I can say that I have never lied on these blogs, or in class. I really don’t remember the last time I flat out lied. In fact, I was having a conversation with my mom the other day and she told me that I was the most honest person she knows. I don’t want to be a Saint or anything, but hiding behind walls and false hopes doesn’t get people anywhere. So to answer the question, about 95-98% of the time I am an honest person. When I am not honest, it is for the better of whomever I am speaking to or for. To myself, I am 100% honest.
3. Personally I think I need to change my priorities. I fell too responsible for what happens to my family and so I always put them first. This is my life and I have to put myself first in certain situations. I feel that schoolwork is more important than some of the things I do for my family and I need to learn to say no to them. I also need to be more confident. One on one I can have a whole conversation with a complete stranger, but when I am in large groups I get really nervous. I think that if I find confidence I will be able to straighten my life out.
4. I was dreading this question. Over the years I have been asked numerous times what my “talent” is, and I always show up empty handed. I have two hidden talents that will not be mentioned here, so don’t ask. I don’t enjoy them, but for a laugh once in a while they’re okay. Other than that, I don’t think I am really good at anything. I suppose I am good at remembering names, but that’s not a real talent… Because I don’t have any special talents, I can’t utilize them. I think…
5. I never ask that question. I hate it. If it were up to me, you would be jailed for using those words in a question. Since I was a freshman, my guidance counselors have been telling me to write down my volunteer hours because colleges “like that.” I don’t give a shit what colleges like. I don’t help people for a reward. I don’t even want a simple “thank you.” I feel that helping others should be a genuine action of affection or plain morality. I personally would rather be not helped by someone than be helped by a person that only wants something for themselves.
Mike G:
ReplyDeleteYour blogs are always so optimistic. You're so optimistic. Sometimes I'm like...really? But it's always refreshing, knowing that some people are able to put a positive spin on everything. I know when I rant in Latin, or I'm nervous or whatever, you're always there offering advice, or giving me a different perspective, and I know I'm always reluctant to listen, but it is some awesome advice. I think you should add that to one of your talents, being able to be so optimistic, even when the world's crappy.
Rach:
We talked about this in Latin, how we both don't tell people how we feel, but I don't think a lot of people do it, so it's okay. I feel like keeping silent, and nodding your head when people talk to you, is yes, dishonest, but it's so much better than coming off as...bitchy. Anyways, I really love how you're always grateful for the little things. You're probably one of the very few people I know, who enjoys tiny things in life, that most people find pointless. It's a great quality to have.
Kendall: I, like you, have yet to discover my talent, or possibly talents, but I'm going to encourage you to not stop looking. Sometimes, I feel like I'll never find out what I'm good at, and I give up easily, but I don't want you to stop looking. Your blogs always make me a little sad, the love you have for Kayla is extraordinary, and though I do love my siblings, my love always seems mediocre. Nevertheless, I'm proud of you for getting your priorities back on track :)
As I sit here and read the blog I'm trying to find a common ground between all the questions that are being asked and who it relates to the proverb. Perhaps its something so simple that I'm just not getting the meaning of it, or perhaps its ambiguous and i'm thinking to much about it, but all I can do is try and answer these questions honestly to come to a conclusion.
ReplyDeleteWhat am I grateful for?Every year at thanksgiving I am asked that o so famous question, “what are you grateful for?” and for the most part my answer has never changed and perhaps it never will. I am grateful for my family, foremost. Most of the wonderful experiences I have had had been with my family. They are the ones who raised me and taught me right from wrong, they provided me with the love and affection that I needed, they give me hope that one day I will start a family of my own and pass down the much needed lesson of the world. I'm grateful for friends – but they can be categorized as family too because I’m grateful for them the same reason I’m grateful for family. I'm grateful for all the experiences that I have had in life, the good the bad, the ups the downs, through thin and thick. With out those experiences I would not have been morphed into the person I am now. .
Am I honest? Well I would like to think that I am however, there are definitely times where I have lied to get out of strange predicaments, as I’m sure everyone else has. I'm not saying that I have been a saint, – gosh I'm probably far from it – but I try to keep a honest dialogue between people. Usually times when I am dishonest are times when I don't want somebody to know something personal about myself or my family. I've definitely lied about things that may concern my mom or the way that I live, or about being OK when a bad situation presents itself. However, I'm not one that will just lie for the sake of lying. I don't have time for it, its exhausting. If there’s one thing that I have learned from one of my favorite movie idols Madea/Tyler Perry, is that if you lie it takes millions of other lies to cover up the one that you told. It will also result in nobody ever trusting you completely if your not honest. This is why I try to live by this principle and succeed for the most part yet, I do have my slip ups.
Do I know what my talents are and do I utilize those talents? If I had to say that I had a talent it would have been drawing. The reason I say “would have been” is because I feel as though I have lost the skill completely but I'm not completely sure. I use to be quite the expert drawer honing a skill that was never apart of my family. I remember being in pre-school and having the teachers gawk at my drawings because here was a 6 year old little boy drawing pictures of houses and people with a better artistic vision than a grownup who drew stick figures. It was awesome for a time getting recognized for my drawings however, soon I saw that I had competition with others which made me try and push my talent to a new extreme. The competition was good for me and it made me draw a lot more. However, somewhere down the line I got it into my head that I had to focus on school work more than the thing that I loved so I just stopped drawing seriously. I just didn't have the time to balance these things out. So now it's been a long time since I have actually drawn something that I could truly be proud of, so I don't know if I still have the ability. Now every time I go to my drawing album on facebook I'm reminded of what was.
What do I need to change about myself?: If I got the chance to change one thing about myself it would be the fact that I seem to get nervous when I try to speak to a crowd. It's a flaw that I have always wanted to correct. For example, people I may have known forever and feel most comfortable with, just have the effect of making me nervous. My legs start to buckle, I begin to fumble my words and feel as if I don't know what I'm saying. However, in my head, I know exactly the direction I want to take on an issue, feeling confident I know what to say,. And in my head I'm thinking to myself “why is my leg shaking, why am I nervous, I know what I want to say, why can't I just say it the way I want?.” However, something gets messed up in the cross wires between knowing what I want to say and actually saying it, which leaves me feeling like a fool. I didn't believe it was a confidence problem, because I’m great at adapting to situations but maybe it is. Perhaps I'm just a bad speaker. Whatever it is I want to change it.
ReplyDeleteWhen I help someone, do I think, "what's in it for me?" No, not at all. When I help someone the last person on my mind is me, the moment is dedicated to the person that is in need of help and them only. I guess I developed this sense living the way that I do. When you live with a grandma or a mom that rely on you to help them through the day, that sense of “me” is cut out of you. You constantly have to be thinking how to benefit the other person. Like right now I just gave my grandma her dinner for the night, and no thoughts of “OK, grandma wheres my $10000000 came across my mind” (except to use this as the perfect example for this blog) All I know is if I didn't help her, who would? So I just help to help.
So I'm still siting here wondering as to how the questions relate waiting for the meaning to hit me in the face. The only thing I can come up with is that these questions tell me what kind of person I am. But that’s ambiguous to me because usually all the blogs do that.
Tom: It was cute how you opened up your post by mentioning all the "little" things that you are grateful for. Also, your paragraph about lying was extremely paradoxical and I am soo confused! To say that you need to be less obnoxious is very mature of you. I do not see you regularly but from what I know, I haven't seen an obnoxious side of you since you used to have random fake seizures in 6th grade. heh.
ReplyDeleteRachel: Your post was very honest and I respect that wholeheartedly. Some things even surprised me! Maybe this is bad to say, especially here, but it's almost like a rite of passage in adolescence to keep things from your parents, it doesn't make you some sinful liar. I absolutely know what you mean when you say that it's difficult to find the good in ourselves. For most people, it's either too much good that they find, or none at all. And your goal to love yourself more? It's a perfect start to where ever you wish to self-improve.
Nyamekye: I said the exact same thing in my blog about being my own worst critic. It's kind of inevitable that as AP students we are unrelenting to ourselves and perfectionists at heart (most of us). But I also think that we ALL need to be easier on ourselves, and I include myself in this because I can be so harsh towards my own efforts. Your blog was incredibly blunt and straight-forward, which is always refreshing to me. Your posts usually follow that manner however (which is good!), so it was intriguing to read as usual.
I really don’t see a point to life without humor and comedy. Sometimes a well thought out parody or joke will ease the tension of everyday stress. That being said, I’m grateful for laughter and entertainment. If we can’t sit back and give a little chuckle or hearty laugh every now and again, then society increasingly grows darker and darker. Humor is almost like my fuel, it has energized me to get through a lot of low points in my life and I’m truly grateful for that. Of course, I am extremely grateful for those I am most close with. More so than relatives, my friends are the ones that I rely on and enjoy the most. Living a day without friendship is like living a day without color or light, it is incredibly bleak and desolate. I suppose there are many other things that I am grateful for, but standing tall among the crowd are my friends and comedy.
ReplyDeleteSometimes I’ve referred to myself as the “BS King” on account of my ability to write and fabricate a great deal of believable and otherwise false material. And many people buy what I jot down or type upon paper. Just because I’ll tell a few tales or stretch my honest interpretation of a topic to make it sound interesting, I would consider myself a moderately honest person. I live by a policy of keeping things clean and to the fact. I would never manipulate anyone or cause harm to someone by means of dishonesty. If a time comes along where dishonesty is completely legal and of no harm to an individual, then I might be enticed to fabricate a little story here or there. But in any other circumstance I’m sure to make the truth always available.
I would actually change a lot of things about myself. I mean I love who I am, but not to the extent that George does himself. I mean, I would actually like to become less pessimistic. I would too like to be able to care about people a bit more than I do. I can admit that I’ve grown a bit more selfish and cold-hearted than I would like to be, and that’s something I’ve been working on. It also couldn’t hurt if I was a bit more personal and polished in my social skills. I would furthermore like to reestablish my older work habits wherein I wouldn’t procrastinate as much as I do now. This is a product of laziness that I’m working hard to combat at the moment. And to a certain degree I’ve been pretty successful as of late. My work ethic is really starting to pick up again, but it’s not where I would optimally want it to be. But I’m looking pretty good as AP test time inches closer and closer.
I would suppose that I’ve recognized a few of my talents but would concede that I have not developed them or utilized them to their fullest extents. I would like to think that I have a decent talent for analysis and thinking, but so far I have not taken these skills to the next step which is a practical and abstract application of my thoughts. This is something I hope to achieve in college as research capabilities are vital to my selection of higher education. I think I have a talent for reasoning and understanding. These are more emotional skills but nonetheless I feel as though I would be excellent in negotiation or bargaining situations. These are more of talents that I feel I have based on just knowing myself and how my mind operates. I would also say I have a good eye for design and art. I had recognized my skill in this sphere a long time ago but have increasingly shied away from it, and nonetheless am out of practice. But regaining and strengthening my abilities there is something I actually hope to do in the near future.
ReplyDeleteThis last question is very easy for me. I absolutely consider the benefits of doing something or helping somebody before I do it. It’s really simple. I’m looking to gain success and I’m going to be very selective in my efforts. I’m always looking to gain an upper hand or edge in order to rise to the top. But at the same time, I always make sure to check myself when doing so. I don’t want to hurt somebody or detriment them by making crass decisions. If there is something to gain by assisting someone, then the deal is sweetened and I’m more inclined to put in my effort. This of course does not mean I will turn my shoulder on an individual in need because I won’t necessarily receive something. I think that everybody should adopt a “good guy” attitude every once and a while just to affirm a positive vibe in society. Help one person and they will be inclined to maybe return the favor when you are in need. It’s really just a system of kindness that doesn’t seem to be functioning the way it should in modern times.
Mimi: Good for you. I am glad someone was willing to say they are grateful for material things. Personally I would rather live with the bare minimum. Don’t get me wrong, I would miss my lazy summer days of watching Dr. Who or indie flicks with my sister, but I can’t say that I am grateful for them. I would give my cell phone up in a moment. It’s strange how different our views on subjects like this can be, Mimi. But I am glad that we get along so well!
ReplyDeleteConnie: I think that everyone takes things for granted once and a while. We get so wrapped up in our lives, in my case school and volleyball and all the little curveballs that life throws. Just because you don’t that the time every second of your life to be grateful for something doesn’t mean you aren’t grateful for it. Wow, that was a mouthful. Anyways, your blog was nicely put together this week!
Patrick: We lead very similar lives Pat, but of course we know that already! I would have to say that my lifestyle has also shaped the way I view thing, especially when it comes to helping people. I help to help too. I hate when people try to give me stuff though. For instance I, about 30ish minutes ago, put my grandfather in his actual chair from his wheelchair and he said thank you, of course. And in response I said, Pop you don’t have to thank me. This happens all the time with people, even little old people that can’t lift their soda boxes into their cars. From knowing you, Pat you’re the real deal. The answer… is peanut butter (thought that would make you laugh a little bit!)
I’ll be the first one to admit I’m not a perfect person. I’m selfish and jealous and insecure and obsessive and stubborn and bratty and wait…where was I going with this? Oh, right. Answering these questions, I’ll probably uncover more ways that I adhere to my previous description, but oh well. Here it goes, I guess.
ReplyDeleteWhat am I grateful for? Hm, well naturally, I’m grateful for my house, my family, my friends, and all the little necessities I’d probably be lost without such as a full pantry (though I always complain that there’s nothing to eat) and a shower. But another thing I’m thankful for, cocky as it sounds, is my intelligence. I love being an AP kid – the challenge of the classes, the teachers, the kids I’m around. If I were to be stuck in all CP classes throughout my high school career and have to associate with some of the people taking them, I’d undoubtedly go insane. I know that sounds really bad, but a good amount of kids in there are either bad news or just plain stupid. Or both. I feel like I’d have the urge to punch someone in the face nearly every day of my life. Holy cow, I’m mean…
Am I honest? I don’t think anyone’s completely honest. Everybody’s had to have fibbed at least once in their life – whether it’s to their friends or their parents – I don’t think there’s one person who can say that they’re TOTALLY honest. That being said, I’d say I’m relatively honest. I get twitchy and nervous when I lie, I have a horrible poker face. I mean sometimes I’ll tell little white lies to spare a friend’s feelings or something like that, but there’s no way I would be able to drag out some sort of elaborate fabricated tale in order to hide my tracks. I do try my best, however, to deliver my opinions (if a friend were to ask me for it) in the nicest way possible if I know it’s not what they want to hear.
What do I need to change about myself? I clearly don’t see myself as that great of a person, so this list could go on forever, but I’ll truncate it just to keep the pity party to a minimum. Physically, I’m paranoid about my stomach. I know I’m underweight (a 5’0” female with a small frame should weigh from 104-115 pounds, I’m 93), but I’ll still look at myself in the mirror and think I have a little pudge. I don’t have any eating disorders, I make sure I eat right, but I obsessively work out my midsection – when no one’s around, of course – so that maybe the little teeny bulge I have will go away. I don’t know why it bothers me so much, I guess I just want abs… Personality-wise, I need to learn how to control my anger. Whenever I get myself into a bad mood, I take it out on the most convenient person – who’s often the closest person I have to me. I’ve alienated many people that way because instead of explaining why I’m sour, I just give whomever I happen to be in cahoots with attitude. I’m snide and rude, it’s unnecessarily exaggerated and each time I tell myself I’m going to stop, I catch myself doing it the next time someone pisses me off. *Sigh…*
Do I know what my talents are and do I utilize those talents? Ha, I can make this one short, sweet, and to-the-point: No. If anything, I find myself to be extraordinarily untalented. I’m not athletic, I’m not super-smart, I can’t sing, I can’t play any instruments, I’m not coordinated, I’m not funny, I can’t do any sort of weird body-contorting shit. The only thing I have going for me is that I magically shrink every year. Since it seems to happen at the beginning of each school year, I’d say I don’t utilize it TOO frequently.
ReplyDeleteWhen I help someone, do I think, “What’s in it for me?” Oh gosh, all the time! Sometimes I wonder if I even have a decent part of me that just wants to help others for the good of it. Anytime I’ve done community service, it was because I HAD to complete the hours. Anytime I’ve helped someone with homework, it’s only so I’m not known as the bitch who says, “No, go do your own damn homework.” Anytime I’ve given someone a ride, I make them pay me five dollars for gas.
Hey look, my hypothesis was right! I really am selfish and jealous and insecure and obsessive and stubborn and bratty! I’m definitely going to hell.
A lot of the time I’m not grateful for anything. It happens. I get distracted by all the fun things in life, and don’t take time to appreciate them. Usually it takes the very question “What are you grateful for?” for me to realize I take nearly everything for granted. The food I can ask my dad to pick up at the local Acme, the water pouring out of the faucets, the free education (for me, anyways) that I so often complain about with friends. All of it, taken for granted. And then I start thinking about what it would be like, without all these luxuries, and I take on gratefulness for a few seconds. Then away it goes, vanishing into the distance. This happens sometimes. Not enough, definitely. But when I happen to be grateful, or philosophical (I’ll talk about that in a second), I’m grateful for almost everything (save for murder and the like. You know, nasty stuff), if only for a moment or two. I remember, back during the hell blog or whatever it was, a few people mentioned believing in an afterlife because then there would be no point without one. Well, I’ve always believed that there isn’t a purpose, but we should enjoy life anyways. The chances of us existing at all are astronomically low. It’s incredible any of us are here, actually. And when I think of that, I think how awesome it is to be. I get to experience life, the universe, and everything. That’s something I’m grateful for.
ReplyDeleteAs for honesty, I would like to say I’m honest. I think about it, and find that I could be more honest. But I feel like at that point it wouldn’t be tactful. If refraining from saying anything would help more to keep the situation intact, I’d much rather shut my mouth then blurt out the truth. And I tell lies, as does everyone. I can’t keep my mouth shut all the time, and if I can see that stretching the truth won’t harm anyone, I’ll do it. So I’m honest, but it’s not a 24/7 ‘round the clock job.
As for changes I’d like to make, I think I could go for some more work ethic. An earlier bed time would be nice too. Actually, I’d much rather need less sleep. So there’s that. I wish I could enjoy more music, or at least find some new stuff to listen to. Of course, I have been finding new stuff, which is always the best ever. I could find more though. My tastes are limited. I’d also like more time for things. This means making time, which I have the potential to do. I just don’t do it.
And now my talents. I took a moment to think of some useless talents I have. And I couldn’t think of any. I first thought of my ability to play music. That’s a talent, right? Well, these days, some musical ability and a quarter will get you twenty five cents. At least, that’s how I see it. I’m not dedicated enough. But my ability to play music lets me comfortably stay in the band at school. It’s working for me right now. And being funny, while seemingly useless, is perfect for making new acquaintances. Knowing people can be seven shades of helpful these days. And having friends is always good too.
When I help people I don’t usually think of what I have to gain. The thing is I consider what there’s to gain to be more than just material reward, or even people owing me favors. What about that feeling of doing something right, without expecting a reward? That’s a gain. But I don’t often think about any kind of gain. I don’t think about much of anything, besides the fact that someone needs help and I’m giving it to them. It isn’t even like I get that feeling of helping someone. I just do it. And that’s it.
Nyame:
ReplyDeleteThanks for the shout out! Hahah. But honestly, my day wouldn’t be complete without listening to your odd rants every morning. They give me a strange kind of joy. You know what? We’re far too hard on ourselves. I mean, everyone is. But you and I seem especially pained by the thoughts of how we could improve. It’s so disheartening. When it comes to honesty, I prefer not to come off as bitchy too, although I respect people so much more when they tell the absolute truth.
Rachel, it amazes me how genuinely positive you are all the time. You have such a lovely outlook on life that someone such as me reads and thinks you're on crack or something. But, I only say that because it's hard for me to grasp that you actually see life this way. Maybe I'm overly cynical, but when I read your blog, I feel like I'm reading a storybook. I'm honestly jealous of your idealism.
ReplyDeleteConnie, your post surprised me a little. In general, it's positive such as you always seem to be but, I never would have pinned you as so self-critical. For all the years I've known you, I've known you're disciplined and you're always set on improving but I've never thought you were so harsh on yourself. I mean, if you've always been that way, I guess it's done you well because you're pretty swell! :)
Janel, I appreciate your honesty. We may not know each other all to well, but from what I see/read, you seem like you're the type of person I'd want around. It takes a lot of courage to tell someone that they look like a caged whale in their jeans, I know I wouldn't be able to do it. Most people find your type of bluntness to be obnoxious and rude, but c'est la vie. I think it's a trait to be respected, not looked down upon.
Cole: I really appreciate how you don't look for any kind of gain when you help people because we need more people like that in the world. People are too greedy and such to benefit the world. As for your talent, I think that being funny is the greatest talent a person can have. Diplomacy is a dying art, and funny people are inherently diplomatic just because that's the way they are. Diplomacy can get you places, give you opportunities, and open doors for you, so don't think that being funny is at all useless!
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteBecca: Thanks! I don't understand why someone would want to be lied to. When the truth finally errupts it's usually much worse of a situation than if the lie was never used in the forst place. People especially liked to be lied to when they dress. I know I don't wear top of the line clothing, and most of the time my hoodies are two or three times to big. But I made that decision being told that my clothes are way too big. I don't know whay people would want to live in a faireytale. If you look horrid and you're told you look sexy then you go in public and are humiliated, well that's just terrible. Usually my honesty is just me being honest, but sometimes it has respect and constructive criticism behind it.
ReplyDeleteBecca:
ReplyDeleteWhat the buffalo are you talking about?! Untalented? You’re honestly one of the most well-rounded people I know. It breaks my heart to see people who are so beautiful, inside and out, be so hard on themselves. All of the things you said you you’re not (smart, funny, etc.), to most people, including me, I guarantee you are.
Kendall:
I love that laughter is one of the things you’re most grateful for. One of the things I love about you is how you’re always laughing. I swear, people would be so much happier if they realized that there is humor in every situation. It’s refreshing how honest you are about your dishonesty. Even if you’re not honest, it’s important to be honest about dishonesty.
Wow. When thinking about what I’m thankful for, a million things came flooding into my mind. My first point on my creed was to be grateful every single day. I’m thankful for large things, like my family and shelter, and food, and an education. I’m grateful I have the ability to hear my mom’s voice and see my dad’s smile. I’m thankful for the people who really appreciate me, which lately, it only seems to be my family. I’m grateful for the smaller things too. I’m thankful for those beautiful beach days and being able to lie in my bed and listen to music. In my explanation of my creed, I also mentioned the fact that I’m grateful for those people who have completely screwed me over. Those assholes made me who I am. Without their shady, two-faced, lies, I wouldn’t be me. I have no idea who I would be, but I wouldn’t be as strong as I have become. So I guess I’m grateful for them too. Every night before I go to sleep, I lie in bed and say the pit and the peak of my day. I remember the best moment and the worst one. It’s always easier to name the peak. Sometimes it’s big things, like going to a concert or something along those lines, but it’s usually something like “learning something new,” or “having that conversation,” or “making so and so smile.” So, all in all, I’m just really grateful for my amazing, magical, tragic, heartbreaking, incredible life.
ReplyDeleteI would say I’m 75%-80% honest. I don’t go around telling lies or anything like that, but sometimes I bend the truth. If I went and told everyone EXACTLY what I was thinking, and didn’t put a filter on my mouth, well that would be complete chaos. I call BS on anyone who says they are ALWAYS 100% honest. Think about your day today. Think about every single conversation you had. Now replace the words you used with the ones you were bluntly feeling. I’m not saying you flat out lied today, (although some of you may have, I don’t know) but you bent the truth a few times. You don’t go around telling your best friend you hate their outfit that day. Everyone tells little fibs. They bend the truth. I’m not any different. I don’t go and use huge lies and completely alter the way I’m feeling. I’m mostly honest, but I do use those little white lies. They make the world much more peaceful. Sometimes lies make life easier.
This kind of sounds pathetic, but sometimes I wish I could change the way I look. Some days go by when I’m like, “Wow I really look ugly today,” or “Wow I really look fat today.” It’s nothing new really. I’ve had that mindset since I was around seven, so I guess I’ve grown used to not liking the way I physically look. In a completely different sense, I would like to be able to help people more. It’s not like I don’t help people or anything, but I wish I had an even greater ambition to help people. I always say I’m going to do this or that to volunteer, and then something gets in the way and I end up not going. I’m positive there are many other things I would like to change about myself, but I don’t want to think about them right now because it’ll only make me feel more sad.
I can name a few talents I have, but I don’t think I’ve discovered them all yet. I’m decent at school, but I don’t think I utilize that talent. All I do with that talent is get good grades. I would say I’m pretty good at track. I win, go to important meets, and have medals and trophies. But is this really utilizing my talent? I guess so in a sense. I’m not really sure how else I would utilize this talent besides practicing and participating in various meets and relays. Something I would say I’m proud of is my talent to feel out people’s emotions. I use this ability to listen to people and give advice. I always listen to what people are thinking and try to get to the deeper meaning of things so I can help them. I don’t think a lot of people can do it, that’s why it’s one of my favorite talents.
ReplyDeleteI’ll be honest. Sometimes I do wonder what’s in it for me, not all of the time though. Sometimes I help people just because I know they need it and I think they deserve to be helped. This could be helping my family, or giving advice to someone close to me. Helping people makes me feel happy. But then again, I don’t know if I like helping people because it makes me feel good about myself, or if I do it just because I want to do it. I’d like to say it’s the second answer though. However, sometimes I do think about what is in it for me, but it’s on a subconscious level so I don’t realize it until days after I helped that person.
Becca: Don't be so hard on yourself. I think you have plenty of talents that you don't realize. I think you have talents that I will never have. That's why you're so special and so Beccalicious. <3
ReplyDeleteMikeG: I loved how you are grateful for your mistakes. I am too! I slightly touched upon this in my post, but you did it so much better. Your first paragraph was so optimistic and it made me feel so much better about the crappy day I just had. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteTruthfully, truthfully, I’m going to distort these questions or the order I answer them.
ReplyDeleteSelfishness in itself is innate in all of us. We as humans are selfish, now this is due to our survival mechanism and our want to fit in into a certain type of society. Nature has it in a way that we do stuff, either spontaneous or munificent, to comply or satisfy some innate inner desire, drive or want. If we don’t do it for money, then it’s for social acceptance or biological desire, or anything of that nature. If we are not conscientious of these wants, it’s because it’s most likely lodged in our preconscious or unconscious. So do I, in my own conscious mentality inquire myself “If I am being philanthropic because it would benefit me” most likely not, I usually don’t ask myself these type of questions. However by the time I made that decision my preconscious would have already have decided what I would do to satisfy some want or desire. However we cannot disregard the very nature of our environment on the influence of our decisions.
So I tell the truth, I most likely do, I mean what’s truth, truth itself is subjective, there is no basic truth. In many situations we cannot tell the truth not because of some petty desire to not hurt the other person, NO because of a repression or a mental confusion that literally creates a lie, I mean it’s been recorded, I’m just too lazy at this moment to cite any sources. But do I lie, I think I just tried to jump around this issue, but yes I lie, but not in a huge proportion, probably some petty lie, by accident most likely, some white lies, I don’t think I am a big liar. I find the decision, actual decision, to lie very nerving, there’s no sense in it, just be yourself and tell the subjective truth.
Now I believe that there is really no point to life, existentialism is mostly it. I believe since there is no point in life, than there is no point in having a life. By this I am not saying to kill yourself, no that’s the last thing I would want, actually I would not want that at all! No what I’m saying is don’t follow anyone and be who you want to be, no one is judging. You only have one life so enjoy it while you can and the longer you live the more you can enjoy. Now do I know my potential, most likely not, do I try to achieve this potential, I’m too lazy, so the answer is no. Why is that, well why would I try to reach this potential? I mean I’m no better of then the guy who reaches his true potential, right? I mean there is going to be disparity between our life styles; he would most likely have more materials and more money and so on, would he enjoy it more, yeah he would. I believe that money is essential to happiness, however would he enjoy that in the SAME intensity that I enjoy whatever I do, yeah he would, why not? Just enjoy life, in any form you want. If money and prestige is your happiness then go for it, if it’s not then just make your life survivable, but enjoy it in YOUR own way!!!
Am I grateful, I would say yes, I mean if you ever do me a favor I would always thank you, I don’t expect a no problemo, or a no problem or a your welcome, I’m just in debt to what you have done and I’m showing it. Now the tricky thing is in controversial issues like my parents wanted to save me from the mighty flames of hell, so they indoctrinated me. Am I thankful? Hah jokes, were they trying to do something that they thought was right? Yes. Another thing is if you really get me mad, I mean by far really mad, something of an impossibility. But if you do manage to complete this grandeur feat then well, I would not be grateful of anything you do for about 4 days. I’m also not grateful that my parents brought me into this world, am I thankful of what they have done, like feed me, support me love me in some form. Yes.
Completed this in 20 minutes!! It can be done, just no distractions.
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ReplyDeleteTom: Not to call you a liar or anything (though I totally am, just not intentionally) I don’t think you’re as emotionally stoic as you think you are. I have certainly caught you with a temper, but you ain’t got nothin’ on me :p (am I allowed to use faces on blogs?) But no worries, if you don’t think about the rewards that come along with doing good deeds you’re eons ahead of me.
ReplyDeleteBecca: Well thank you for reminding me about my weird contorting shit. I guess I have a serious talent now. If school ever fails me, I’ll have a back up. But oh you, you shush up. You’re talented. You’re creepily adorable. Even when you’re yelling I just want to pinch your cheeks. And hey, you’ll never be fat either! You obviously care enough to not want to be out of shape. But if you take it any further I will be forced to slap you. And then run for cover.
Cole: I don’t know if it’s lying, but you’re such a schmooze. You and Schuyler were sitting there jokingly (I hope) making fun of me in Calculus so naturally I turned to you. You sat there, looked at me, and said, “What, we’re not talking about you.” I only had to stare straight-faced at you for all of three seconds before you burst out laughing. Schmoozy-van-schmoozy-pants. But I guess if it’s just natural to you and you’re not trying to get anything out of it, it’s all fine and dandy. And I just realized I forgot to put the double space in between my paragraphs. I’m sorry I’ve failed you.
If you choose to look at it this way, since life is ridiculously awesome and a blessing whether it’s in a religious way or not, there’s nothing to not be grateful for. It certainly feels this way only about two percent of the time, but I guess I’m grateful for everything. I often find myself taking an inventory on my life, since the stuff I do is mostly habitual and without much thought. For one, I forget that I’m so tiny a lot of the time. It’s a bummer. It feels like just about everything has its faults and virtues, but I try to be grateful for all of the pluses.
ReplyDeleteFor example, I can’t gain weight for my life. I may be underweight sometimes, but to quote my mother in response to people asking if I’m anorexic (jackasses) she says, “Just tell them that when you’re forty your husband isn’t going to be married to some fat pig.” Oh mother. It’s not all smiles at a hundred pounds. When I sit around like a lazy bum, I lose weight and when I work out I gain muscle weight, which is cool I suppose. I’m one of the fastest girls on the lacrosse team, in no doubt due to my average height to underweight ratio. People knock me over a lot since I have little to no inertia, so I get the ball a lot. But I also, you know, fall a lot. I get into shape really fast because I have no preliminary fat to burn. But the wind knocks me over often, especially when playing Ocean City. However, I can jump really high because I weigh next to nothing. But I freeze to death since I have no isolation whatsoever.
So, I’m grateful for all the benefits. I get to eat dessert every night and know I’ll burn it all off by the time I wake up anyway. It would just be nice to avoid this conversation:
Jackass: “Amber, are you like anorexic or something?”
Imagine my voice peaking and speeding up: “NO I AM NOT ANOREXIC.”
Jackass: “Oh, sorry, bulimic.”
This is my life, but I’m grateful for just about everything, it’s just everything has its downfalls too.
I’ve been told that I have an innate ability to get people to trust me. I feel as though I’m pretty open and honest; in fact, almost too open and honest. I’m never quite sure what not to say, so I usually just saying whatever I’m thinking. I could absolutely be more honest, that goes without saying. I’ve lied my way out of some different situations because I know how I act when I’m telling the truth and I can mimic it well enough. But I’d say for the most part that I’m honest. Even when I embellish on a story, I’ll usually follow up with, “Okay, that didn’t happen, I don’t know why I just said that.” As far as I’m aware, I really don’t lie all that much.
It’s hard to answer what I would change about myself. I’m happy with myself as is, but it’s true that I only became that way because I changed myself. I’ve become a lot more outgoing. Nobody that has ever met me could deny that one. I went from not speaking more than a hundred words in all of 3rd grade (which I promise you is not an exaggeration) to being fairly chatty (after 3rd period that is). But dear lord, I’d give a lot to be more comfortable public speaking. I gave a speech in 8th grade for god sakes you would think I’d have gotten over it by now! Sadly no, but it has helped. So I need to be more willing to speak in class. Like my mother, I get ticked pretty easily. I usually don’t say anything when I am because I recognize that I’m probably just being overly dramatic, but I don’t exactly do much to dull my facial expressions. I’m afraid to say much more, because I’ve changed so much already. If I knew certain things about myself that especially hurt or upset other people, I’d probably change those aspects about myself.
ReplyDeleteAs to whether or not I know what my talents are, I mean I’m pretty awesome at memorization and school in general. I love not wanting to shoot myself because of stress, so I don’t study as much as I could. I tend to overachieve even when I’m convinced I didn’t try hard. I’m pretty good at most sports but I don’t like competing seriously, which is why I don’t especially like playing lacrosse. I’ll probably play club lacrosse in college. I play piano when I have time or am pissed at the world. I don’t know if any of these are really much of talents. In addition, over the summer, as much as I enjoyed the absence of summer work, it killed me on the inside to feel as though I wasn’t being productive, that I was stagnant. So I resorted to writing and I wrote 115 pages of a little book. I still have the ending planned out. But don’t get to thinking that’s how I spent my summer, trying to do as much as I could. I still came out of it with tan lines… that haven’t completely faded yet. But if I had to pick the thing I’m best at, it’s probably coming off normal, but being completely abnormal. I get told I’m different a lot. So my talent would be disguising how obnoxiously weird I am.
This last question gets to me. I notice it all the time. It’s like, it’s not intentional, but everything I think about doing that’s “good” is immediately followed up by some petty thought about what I’ll get out of it. It makes me livid. It pisses me off so much because I can’t help but look at every side of the situation! I naturally just over think every situation really quickly, so I accidentally hit every facet of an act.
Here’s my thought process: Okay I should do this. That’d be so nice of me to do. They’d be so happy. You know, it’ll make me a better person too. Wait, no, this isn’t about you Amber. God damn it, why do you always have to make it about you? If I think it’s about me, does that mean I mean it? No no, it makes me mad so that means I don’t believe it and am still a good person. But wait, if I have to say that, does that make me a bad person?
And this goes on until some neat shiny object or cute guy distracts me, or I trip over my foot or something.
So yes, unfortunately I do think about what’s in it for me. If it helps though, it does make me mad…
Sometimes when I’m really pissed I act like such an ungrateful jerk.. But there’s actually a lot to be grateful for. I’m grateful for the technology, such as vaccines, that has saved lives and prevented me and others from dying so soon. I’m grateful for my mommy, brother, and some other relatives. I’m grateful for my dog and my friends. I’m grateful for a house and food and computers and clothes and many teachers and books and art supplies. Most importantly, I’m grateful to be alive.
ReplyDeleteI’m ninety-percent honest. There’s those times when people lie to avoid being mean. Like when people won’t stop messaging you online and you really don’t want to talk to them at the moment or ever, so you tell them you have to go and pretend to leave when you’re really still there. I do that. But when someone asks me my opinion on something, I tell the truth when it’s possible to do without really bad consequences. There’s also been times where I’ve lied to my parents to avoid getting in trouble. But I’ve probably done this less than the average person, since I feel guilty about lying. Other than those two types of situations, I don’t think I really lie. I don’t believe in lying. Even though I end up doing it a bit just like everyone else. Particularly, I hate when people tell someone something like “I like your hair” and then they turn to their friends and go “I don’t actually like it.” Seriously, what? Why? (I’ve seen it happen.) On the other hand, if you mean “honest” in the sense that I say everything on my mind, hell no! I often think quite mean thoughts and if I did, I would probably be abandoned by all my family and friends. At least my dog will still probably like me though.
I need be more confident and less fearful. I think my life would just be so much easier if I was. And I’d be able to accomplish more. Moreover, this ties in with confidence a bit, but I need to have more emotional strength. I think I’m overly sensitive a lot of times. All these stupid things aren’t worth my tears, but as of now, I can’t help it. I need to be more organized and basically just get my crap together. This means not only do I need to be neater, I need to stop friggin procrastinating. If I actually started working on things early, I would be much less stressed all the time and the quality of my work would be much better. (Note to self: I should work on my current events this weekend. And I should take advantage of those half-days next week...) Lastly, I need more determination. There’s all this stuff I want to do, stuff that I can do, stuff that I should do, but I never do it. I need determination to accomplish all my goals.
I am talented at drawing. Recently, I donated my art skills to help create the set for Grease. Otherwise, I’m just in art portfolio class drawing towards a portfolio which I may or may not need. I doodle often, but I rarely finish actual drawings when they’re not for school. Eh. So do I utilize my talent? Sometimes. I suppose I have some leadership skills. I utilize them when I run Asian Awareness and when I lead the painting of the Grease set. I guess I could do more though. I’d like to say I have teaching skills, but that’s questionable. I hope I do. Anyways, I utilize this when I explain how to do math or science problems to my friends and classmates. Otherwise, I don’t think I can do much else.
There are often times where I selflessly help people. However, when bigger favors are asked, I do sometimes ask myself what I can get out of it. This is only if the task is risky for myself or if it’s a very difficult one. Helping people is great, but in the end, I care about myself more than I care about others. So if helping will cause a significant loss on my part, I will probably ask myself the question. But it depends a lot on the specific situation. If my dying relative asked me to donate my liver to them, I would do it without asking the question.
Rachel: Wow, Rachel, you of all people lie, *shock*. No not really lying is the most human thing out there. Though its not the best of traits I believe there are times where lying is necessary like, when you want something to stay hidden. However, as you said explicitly lying and concealing a fact are different but they are both still dishonest.
ReplyDeleteTed: We are both singing the same song about being pessimistic. That would actually be the second thing that i would change about myself. Last year I was told most of the time that I'm a pessimistic person, even though I seem to be all about the light and happy things. Actually last year it was quite an arduous task for me to get through Morality week, in Costal's class, without a check next to the pessimistic box.
Becca: Oh, wow, your just like my cousin when it comes to helping someone and expecting something in return. I ask him sometimes if he can take me somewhere so that I can just get a breather away from home, and the first thing out his mouth, "do you have money?" However, he usually asks me for $10 so I guess I should ask for a ride from you. :)
Kendall: I loved your response about what you are grateful for. Laughter truly is one of the best things in life. Please don't ever lose your optimism and the beauty of your laugh. It always lights up my day. <3
ReplyDeleteMan I wrote a lot this time! I also forgot to mention that I need to fix my temper. A lot of people probably don't know this, but I can get angry pretty easily.
ReplyDeleteDominique: “I’m grateful for those people who have completely screwed me over. Those assholes made me who I am. Without their shady, two-faced, lies, I wouldn’t be me. ” I was thinking of saying that I was grateful for all the assholes as well. But it’s hard to say that I’m grateful for such people. I don’t know if I am, actually. Those jerks did help shape me, but they also left scars. I’m not sure if the good really cancels out the bad.
Cole: “The chances of us existing at all are astronomically low. It’s incredible any of us are here, actually...I get to experience life, the universe, and everything. That’s something I’m grateful for.” Well that was beautiful. Seriously, just wow. Sorry, I don’t have much else to say but I just really liked that part. I think you can say you’re talented at being philosophical!
Janel: “I think that if I find confidence I will be able to straighten my life out. ” Ditto. Seriously, sometimes I get nervous for no reason. And I ask myself, “Why, why am I so stupid? Why can’t I just go for it and be confident?” Confidence brings people far.. I need more of it.
1. I am grateful for many things. Mostly, I'm grateful for accepting people in both my family and my group of friends. To begin with, family and friends are great things to have, as well as being the most cliche things to be thankful for. However, it is true. My friends and my family accept me for who I am; and all jokes aside when it comes down to it I love every one of them. I am also grateful for second chances. There have been many times in my life where I feel like my mom and dad could have kicked me out of the house for the things they caught me doing, but they didn't. By them giving me a second chance, another chance to succeed and make the right decisions, I became a better person, and more rounded as a whole. Also, I will always be thankful for my wonderful experiences throughout high school through music, as well as my houses, my safety, my health, and my country. Because when you think about it, there are people in this world that have it a million times worse than you could even imagine, and they complain less than you do. (Maybe)
ReplyDelete2. No. I will be honest, in saying that I am not honest. (Yeah, think about that). Honesty has always been tough for me. Lying is usually telling someone something that is not truthful, but it also can be done through cheating as well. Whenever I have found myself in positions where I know I will be judged or be punished for my actions, I lie to get myself out of it. I occasionally lie to make myself look better. I think the worst part of this lying habit is the fact that I despise when people lie to me. Essentially, when you lie, you are lying to yourself as well as the people around you. You are denying the truth to better yourself, and there is nothing right about lying. I hate doing it, I hate having it done to me, but honestly, I do lie quite often and I need to stop.
3. There are a few things I need to change about myself. First of all, I'd like to stop cursing, in music and in life. I use swear words often in regular conversation, and when I write music and it just sounds trashy if you ask me. I don't find it to be necessary, and it is definitely not attractive to high school girls. So, why do it?
Secondly, I would like to change my work ethic. Connie, Nick, Matt and I took place in an argument during 12th period today about doing work when Nick and I do it as opposed to Matt and Connie, and it made me think. I still believe I'm right - you get the same knowledge out of your work no matter what time you do it and if it only takes you five minutes it's not a problem even though it took others an hour - but I would like to do my work earlier and put less stress on myself.
Thirdly, I would like to listen to others more and be less obnoxious. When I think about myself, I think of myself as coming off as overly conceded and loud. Frankly, I don't wish to come off as such, just as I'm sure no one does. Maybe I don't come off in this way, but I personally think I do and I think I can be very annoying to the people around me after a while. For such circumstances, I apologize and thank anyone who put up with me during these times. To fix this problem, I think the biggest thing is staying quiet more. I feel like I open my mouth too often and it just gets annoying. I know I'm not that funny, so sometimes I guess I just talk to hear my voice. I don't know, but I apologize.
4. Hmm, talents. Well, I guess my number one talent would be music, but I feel like that still needs ridiculous amounts of work. I would rather think of my talents as my athleticism and my natural intelligence. I am not the MOST athletic person ever, but I do play three sports and do fairly well in all three. I have been varsity swimming for three years, JV for cross country, and I was JV baseball last year but I have decided to leave baseball and play tennis instead. Furthermore, I have always loved sports, and fall into the "above-average" category when it comes to most sports (or at least I seem to think so).
ReplyDeleteAcademically, there are obviously things I need to work on, but part of the reason I have these problems is because of my natural intelligence. You see, I have always been able to just get A's in my classes and not do any homework or much note-taking in the past. I have been able to gain my status in the top 10% of my class and my admission to National Honor Society strictly off of natural intelligence and nearly no work into school. However, that has changed lately, so that has become less of a talent, but still a talent nonetheless.
5. I'd like to think that I don't want something in return. To be honest, I couldn't tell you. Sometimes I help people and worry about what I get out of it. Other times, though, I do it just because they are a friend and they need help. I try to be the least self-centered person possible, it's just difficult sometimes. I think everyone wants something out of helping someone else once in a while, and it isn't really that big of a deal. Truly, we should be the most important person to ourselves, and we should put our own needs above anyone else's. However, it is more moral to help others above yourself, so more than anything, I balance out the two.
George: "Some are small, like a conversation I had with someone, or a wave I received from someone." I never thought of being grateful for such minuscule things, but now that I do I realize they seem to be the things I show the most gratitude towards. I mean, you're right, when you honestly think about it, those things can change your whole day, and your whole mood. Sometimes just seeing someone you've been dying to see is the most gratifying thing in the world.
ReplyDeleteTom: Your ideas on lying confused me, and I think everyone had the same thought process. Why ask if we lie, because then we can lie about it. However, I can relate. I see my dad as a pathological lier. Whether he truly is or not, I'm not sure, but I do know he lies...A LOT. So I can understand what it feels like to be lied to a lot and it sucks. So i agree, lying is wrong, basically.
Connie: "I have a tendency to be selfish, pretentious, judgmental, too honest." Immediately after reading this I dropped all ideas about your blog and my mind filled with thoughts. You can never be too honest. Honesty is the best thing you can share with someone, never feel bad about being honest. You could change the way you tell someone the truth, but never hide something from someone for the sake of their feelings, because, in the long run, it will help them.
Introspection always strikes me in times of absolute peacefulness. Often, I hit these types of moments while on a long bike ride. Something about the way the sound of rubber against concrete reaches equilibrium with the wind whipping around me. It’s peaceful. And it is here where my thoughts begin to wander. Most of my discoveries about myself are made during these tranquil evenings spent alone.
ReplyDeleteMoreover, I am grateful for the opportunity to introspect, the ability to think freely and without oppression. This is the fundamental freedom that I appreciate. Just the act of sitting down to write this blog, of putting my heart into a word document is an extreme exercise in the freedoms that I enjoy. On that note, I am grateful for the ability to argue. Today’s argument in twelfth period, although rather trivial in the grand scheme of things, gave me an idea of the beauty of differing opinions. I love the fact that there are people out there who are always willing for a good argument, and who can be open-minded about anything.
If I said I wasn’t honest, and I was lying, then what would I be? Think about that one for a bit. Nevertheless, I feel like I’m honest to myself. Although it’s a malicious thought, I have lied before for my personal gain. However, I accept who I am, and don’t strive to be something that I’m not. Honesty to oneself, in my opinion, is of greater importance than anything. After reading through the questions presented, I’ll have to expound upon acting for personal gain at a later point.
At this particular point in my life, I’m enjoying everything that I’m becoming. I have always believed in the saying “let the chips fall where they may.” I believe in evolving. I take pleasure in seeing the boy I have been transform into the man I will become. I don’t want to change anything about myself. I like me. Over the past two years, I have gone through a major growth. I’ve mostly shed my ways of procrastination, and my disorganization that have plagued my academic and mental growth. However, I still retain enough disorganization as to remain spontaneous. So, I don’t want to change anything at this point in my life. Unfavorable qualities within me appear, and as they emerge, I try to vanquish them. It is an ongoing process.
I enjoy reading people. I guess you could consider this one of my talents, but I like applying what I can do. I’m good at riding bikes, that’s my foremost talent. I’ve been riding BMX for about four years now, and I wouldn’t rather excel in anything. Through my ability, I’ve been able to not only improve life for myself, but also help out many of those younger than me, and learn from those older than me. BMX has given me an artistic outlet that would have lain dormant if it weren’t for the sport.
While helping someone, there is always that nagging thought that your act of goodness stems from self-interest. Of course, it always crosses my mind, that little tinge of regret, “am I doing this for myself?” Despite my actions involving personal gain, I seldom act with kindness distinctly for personal gain. Not to say that I haven’t done a good deed to gain something from someone before. Such goes the trades of life. I generally enjoy doing good. I sit on a board for the Atlantic County Judicial System where I help facilitate remedy for first time juvenile crime committers. I don’t do this community service to get a leg up on anyone. I do it because I genuinely care about our community.
On Tuesday, I went for a short bike ride and let some of these blog questions simmer around in my mind. Introspection is a truly beautiful thing, and I’m grateful for the ability to delve within my own mind.
To Cole: I really enjoyed what you said in your response to the “gratefulness” question. I didn’t even consider the idea of being grateful for existence even though I’ve contemplated that before, it really slipped my mind I guess. I think this speaks to how we all take a lot of things for granted as you conceded. I definitely don’t express gratification as much as I should for all the little things let alone experiencing the universe. Aside from that thought, I can relate to not having that “round’ the clock honesty”.
ReplyDeleteTo George: I specifically relate to your thoughts on honesty. I too look at life as a game sometimes and will do what I can to move in the right direction. But as you expressed, I too ill not lie if it brings harm to another person. I figure that if it doesn’t hurt anyone then there is no harm done. The same goes with your thoughts on thinking about gains before helping. Many times it’s a strategic move that is made when I help someone, but this does not necessarily mean I won’t help someone unless I get some sort of reward.
To Mike G: I respect the fact that you don’t feel the need to change anything about yourself which speaks volumes of your confidence and optimism. I like the way that you approach life in general. As far as the last question, I found that I could strongly relate to the things you said. I too feel as though helping people is just a good practice that can build bonds and in turn give one support later on when we are in need.
Usually in the shower every night is when I reflect back on the day I had and think about other random thoughts. The other day, while I was taking a shower, I thought to myself, “wow, how lucky am I to have running water?” I’m grateful for many things. I’m grateful for my loving and wonderful family that puts food on the table every single night. I don’t think I could survive without the protection and joy my family provides. Friends also play a big role in my happiness. I’m grateful for my education. I’m grateful for all of the luxury and material things that I’m able to afford and own such as my computer, cell phone, iPod, etc. But overall, I’m grateful for life on this earth, no matter how much of a bitch life can be. I know that I’m probably one of the luckiest people in the world, because there are a lot of less fortunate people that don’t share half the luxuries I have.
ReplyDeleteI would like to think that I’m honest. Am I the most honest person in the world? No, definitely not. I do find myself telling lies every once and a while to avoid the drama that come with telling the truth. It’s usually harmless when I lie. But then again, I would like to keep certain things to myself sometimes. If someone asks me a personal question that I don’t want to tell them the truth, I’ll tell a lie and hopefully they’ll leave me alone about it. I would never tell a lie that could purposely end up hurting someone.
What would I like to change about myself? Well, I think growing thicker skin would be beneficial. Sometimes I’m a little too sensitive and end up getting hurt by little things most people would just blow off. I wear my heart on my sleeve, which makes for an easy target. I think I should be more assertive when it comes to my beliefs and should probably speak up more often or whenever I feel it’s necessary. I also have a bad temper. I think I get it from my dad. I hate what I have to go through a lot with him screaming and yelling a lot of the time, and I find myself doing the same thing to people. So I think patience is something I’ve got to work on, which would help with my temper.
Hmm… do I have any talents? Usually when I think of talent, I think of unique abilities a person has that sticks out from the average. And using this definition, I would say that no I have no talents. Wow, that’s depressing. Sure I’m good at school, but so are a lot of people. I mean, maybe I do have talents and I don’t even realize it or realize that I’m utilizing those talents. I think that as I get older, learn more about myself, and find a job that I really like, I’ll know what my talents are and what they’re good for.
When I help someone, do I usually think what’s in it for me? No, not really. I would never be philanthropic just to make myself look good. I’ll help my friends with their homework, I’ll help my mom whenever she doesn’t have time to do the laundry or mop the floors. Stuff like that, I don’t think about the gain. But it depends on the situation. I can’t think of a specific situation right now when I might have thought about myself more than helping someone. It’s probably happened though.
At the very young age of 17, life has tossed me a great deal of challenges. From all of the problems with my family to problems at school and even problems within myself. Still that has not affected my appreciation for life. I have a boatload of things to be grateful for. I know it is very cliche, I am extremely grateful for my family. Without my sisters and cousin, I could not have possibly survived my childhood. They are my rocks. I know I can depend on them whenever I need to. We’ve been through a lot together, which is why nothing could ever tear us apart. So i guess in a weird way I am also very grateful for all of those problems. They have shaped my family into the supporting, loving people that they are today. But someone that I really appreciate in my family would be my father. This man works 14 hour shifts everyday just to provide his children with the best of the best. What more can I ask for?
ReplyDeleteI am also very grateful for my friends. I don’t mean those people that I just talk to in class I mean my real friends. Those people that I cry in front of and tell all of my biggest fears and deepest darkest secrets to. Those people that I could actually tell what’s on my mind, instead of saying “I’m tired”. These are the people that keep me sane. Without them a crazy Paki would be roaming the streets. Trust me, no one wants that. That is not all I am grateful for. Of course I am also grateful for those great things that are provided for me. I am grateful for the food on the table, the clothes on my back and the roof over my head. These things are so important to me because I am aware that not everyone has these common things in their life. But I do.
Now am I honest? Yes and no. I try to be as honest as possible. I try to tell people the honest truth but sometimes that’s not quite what they want to hear. What they want to hear is a sugar coated version of the truth. I find no shame in sugar coating the truth for the people that I love if it is what they need to hear to boost their confidence or make them feel better about themselves.
What would i like to change about myself? There are many things that I would like to change about myself but something that is very important would be my anger. It sometimes gets out of control and I say things that I don’t mean. I can’t help it! They just come out! But that is not all that happens when my anger escalates. It has now gotten to the point where I have started hitting things. Over the summer I got so frustrated with my parents that I went downstairs and punched the refrigerator. Not a good idea. It bruised my hand and left a very obvious dent in the fridge. I don’t want to be an angry person. I hate this about me but I have no idea how to handle it quite yet. Hopefully, I can get the hang of it soon.
ReplyDeleteI have absolutely no idea what my talents are. If leaving dents in kitchen appliances is a talent then sure, I have a knack for that! But I don’t think that counts. I don’t think i have any unique or special talents. I am still discovering/changing myself. I still have time to grow and find out much more. But one thing that will stay the same is my passion to help people. But for now I couldn’t possibly utilize my talent because I haven’t found them yet.
This brings me to the final question, when I do things for people, no I do not expect anything in return. I know everyone says that, but I actually mean it. Something that I have always felt passionately about is helping people. I do not expect recognition or appreciation from anyone. I do it because I truly care. I just want to help people in any way possible. I would never EVER want ANYTHING in return from someone I have helped. In fact I would feel kind of embarrassed if I did get something back. Of course this does not apply to my family. With them it has always been a “i scratch your back, you scratch my back” kind of environment. It had to be that way, it was the only way that we could help raise each other as children. Now it’s just a habit. We do things for each other all of the time but do not expect anything in return. We simply do it because we are family and we want to help each other. Maybe that is why I want to be a physical therapist. I want to help those who can’t help themselves. I want to put people back on their feet so they can do things for themselves.
Amber: Okay, first, whoever asks you if you're anorexic is a real dick. Second, I agree wholeheartedly that people trust you. I guess you just have that type of personality, which is a good thing until you're trying to do work and someone keeps bothering you with random stuff that they would only tell you. But if you don't mind being on the receiving end of a slathering of random stuff, then that trait is great.
ReplyDeleteBecca: “I find myself to be extraordinarily untalented.” I wouldn’t be so hard of yourself. I mean, I don’t think I’m talented either, but I’m optimistic. Maybe your talents are in that stage of development and you don’t know how to utilize them yet. I think as we get older and find out more about ourselves and what we enjoy doing, we’ll be more able to say specifically where our talent lies.
ReplyDeletePatrick: I think you’re talented at drawing. More than most people. Seriously, have you seen my elephants? I think you still have the ability. I don’t think stuff like being a good drawer just magically fades away if you don’t do it often. We may not have as much as time as we used to do to the things we want, but we waste most of our free time anyways on stupid things. So keep drawing!
Janel: I don’t think I could be as honest as you. I like how you’re honest about not being afraid to tell someone you look like a caged whale. Kind of harsh to me, but whatever gets your point across!
There are many things that I'm grateful for in life, but the most important thing that I'm grateful for is life itself. Life and great health, because without that in my life all the other things I could possibly even be grateful for wouldn't be possible. As important as family is to me, as I said before, without life itself I wouldn't be with them. Also, there are millions maybe even billions of people in this world who don't have a clean bill of health like myself, which makes me just that much more grateful of it.
ReplyDeleteSomething that I'm relatively good at is being able to assess when to tell the truth and when not to. It kind of goes under the category that I put under as "good with people." If the situation calls for a little white lie, they're gonna get it. If the situation calls for the truth and nothing but the truth, that's what they're going to get too. I think it's virtually one of my best skills, in assessing situations and how to act in them.
If this question was REALLY asked, I would answer with absolutely nothing, because I love myself just the way I am. All the different aspects that make up Garret have put me in the spot I'm in now, and without them, I likely wouldn't be the same. But, for the fun of the blog, IF I had to change one thing about myself, I might have a better filter that goes from mind to mouth. Sometimes I don't think, I just say or do. This has definitely got me in trouble a few times, but oh well, without it, we wouldn't have the impulsive Garret we have today.
I think it's safe to say I do not what my talents are and I absolutely utilize them. I do my best to put myself in situations that will allow my skills to shine. Showing off? Maybe, but what's the point of being good at something if you don't show it off a little bit. Now on the other hand, if I know I'm bad at something, I'll do the opposite. I'll do my best to avoid situations where I might embarrass myself. I feel even if I don't go out of my way to show my talents, if they truly are my talents, they'll shine through in just everyday situations.
Unfortunately, I do tend to think this. As I was going to type, "except for stupid little things like holding the door," I thought well, that's wrong actually. I even do stupid little things like that just for a thank-you. I love to be acknowledged, I hate when work I do goes unnoticed. So, absolutely it's easy to say I do things with the thoughts of what's in it for me. Humans are fueled by self interest, so don't worry I'm not the only one!
I'm grateful for grates!! That's terrible, some puns are just too dumb to see the light of day, my job is to give those puns the chance they don't even remotely deserve. (Although, who doesn't love grates? They keep us from falling into storm drains and stuff.) While that little aside may seem like a total non sequitur, it is in fact a segue into what I'm actually grateful for, which is all the little things. Puns are just one example, things like walking in between tiles, successfully twirling a pencil, or not doing that little dance-shuffle-thing when you walk strait at someone in the hallway.
ReplyDeleteAlthough, honesty is not my strongest trait. I don't mean by this that I am a pathological liar, I don't willingly deceive people for the sake of manipulating people, I'm not that smooth. What I'm talking about is my personality, my personality is a lie. Mostly every time I make some sort of comment about how awesome I think I am or whatever, it's to in spite of my insecurities. I'm not unstable either, there's nothing really special about my self-esteem, it's just average. When I pretend anything different, it's just bravado, maybe I think it's funny or something. I really don't know.
If there's anything I need to change about myself, it's my attitude towards work. My procrastinating habits are legen-wait for it-dary. I'd love to change that about me, I'd love to be able to do work before the night before it was due, I'd love to get normal amounts of sleep. Dreams are nice, but they rarely come true. This is one of those dreams. If there's something I could change about myself that is more attainable, it would be my ability to move on from things that clearly waste my time. The amount of sheer nonsense that I waste my time on is ridiculous, namely the amount of time I spend on reddit. As amusing and clever as it can be, reddit is sort of like a black hole of distraction that pulls me away from focusing on more useful pursuits.
If we could excuse a little more bravado, I am a talented individual, although not as much as I'd like in the areas that I'd like. What I don't consider myself talented in is baseball and social situations, despite my position on the baseball team and relative popularity. Those came from work, I worked to become good at baseball and I worked to attain my social standing. In some ways, that makes me even prouder of those accomplishments. I also don't consider myself a talented person when it comes to academics, mostly because I know that there are people far cleverer and more innovative than I am. If I had any talent at all, I squandered it, this talent was as a trombonist. I excelled in middle school band as a trombonist, with little effort outside of the practices I was required to attend. For some reason, I threw that out when I got to high school, although I may come back to it some day. Who knows. I certainly don't.
So this whole blog has a wonderfully distracted feeling to it, I feel like I'm writing helter-skelter and for some reason I'm enjoying that fact. Anyway, as far as helping people, this is somewhere where I can actually take the moral high ground. I do like helping people for the sake of helping people, it's kind of a rush. I do get lots of requests for help, largely due to the image of myself I've managed to cultivate, which is one of perceived intelligence. People look to me for academic assistance quite frequently, and I can definitely say that I enjoy helping them when they are willing to help themselves. What I hate is trying to cultivate the interest of the person I'm helping, or just giving them the answers, I like helping people when they want to understand something and I can help them to understand that thing. Actually, on reflection, this is probably my favorite thing about myself. Thanks Bunje!
Bobby- Yes, I would also appreciate it if you stopped cursing, it's bad for the environment. But, I know that I was in your first paragraph, so i love you too! Oh, and I heard about your argument, via Connie.
ReplyDeleteConnie- I agree with all the things you said you're grateful for, and I could've easily slipped them into my paragraph. Also, I'm grateful for you for telling me that we had this blog due tonight!
Tom- I haven't really noticed you being obnoxious, not around me at least. You've definitely come a long way, you used to be ridiculously obnoxious, so I believe you've already changed that about yourself, for the BETTER!
Jhon: You're a liar, and that's wrong :P. And you made me realize what my belief is called: existentialism. You know so much about different philosophies, so whenever you get started I kinda have to resort to Google to keep up. I guess that's a good thing because perhaps the AP readers want to see an understanding of stuff like that.
ReplyDeleteAmanda: I have a temper problem that is caused by my family too! And I don’t have a talent either! I swear, we’re twins and we don’t even know it! lol Anyway, I really love this line, “But overall, I’m grateful for life on this earth, no matter how much of a bitch life can be.” I think sometimes we are blinded by the bitchiness of life that we forget to appreciate life itself.
ReplyDeleteAmber: Wow I never realized how many ups and downs you had to your weight and height. I cannot imagine how fast you are because of your weight. But anyways I think that it is really rude that people ask you if your Anorexic just because you are a little skinnier than you average. I respect how appreciative you still are about everything in your life.
Becca: I think you look at yourself in a really negative manner. Just because you haven’t found your talent yet does not mean that you are “extraordinarily untalented.” We are still in the discovering stage of our lives which is probably why you have not found your talent yet but i’m sure you’ll find something that you are good at and feel passionately about. :)
I’ve often thought about the type of person I am, even thought some of these exact questions before. I guess I’ll start with a little disclaimer-I’m far from a perfect person. But I think that being honest about exactly what type of person you are is a step towards making you a better person. As they say, the first step is admitting you have a problem. And so, here it goes.
ReplyDeleteWhat am I grateful for? Well, lots of things actually. There are the obvious things-my house, food, clothes, shelter, friends, family. I’m also grateful for good books, music, TV shows, and movies-mostly because when I find myself in a stressed or angry or sad or frustrated or sometimes just yearning for entertainment, nothing mellows me out like a good book, song, show, or movie. I’m grateful for my thinking abilities, and I’m immensely grateful for all of the (sometimes expensive) things that fall into that “wants” category that my mother and father provide me with. Really, I don’t think there’s much we shouldn’t be grateful for. Nothing is guaranteed in life, so everything we have should be cherished.
Am I honest? Honestly? Hell no. Wow, that sounds bad… maybe that is a bit of a strong statement. I’m not some sort of pathological liar-not everything out of my mouth is a web of lies. However I do lie, quite frequently, whether about small things or slightly bigger things. Recently I’ve found myself lying to my parents more than just occasionally, but I’ll be a typical teen and blame it on my age. I think if I had to state a source for this, it would be my self preservation. Little lies started sort of early on-probably around 7 or 8 years old, to avoid such punishments as being sent to my room or getting smacked. On top of this, I often lie about things like how I’m feeling, either because I don’t want to go into it or because I don’t really feel that it is anyone else’s business. I like to think that I’m honest about the things that count, which is good enough for me.
What do I need to change about myself? Wow. Well I’ll try to cut myself off before I write enough words to stretch to Hong Kong. I remember when I was younger, I used to write a list of all the things I wanted/needed to change about myself instead of writing a new years resolution. I guess at the core of it, I need to be more decisive. I need to learn to say the word “no”. I need to stop caring as much about what other people may be thinking of me, and just live my life for myself. I need to eat healthier, get more organized, stop procrastinating…maybe cut down on the lying. And it would probably be good to get over myself about certain things, as well as get over some of the things that I haven’t yet forgiven and forgotten. Of course, my problem was never in making these lists, rather my problem lies in carrying through with accomplishing what is on them.
Kendall- YESSSSSS someone likes my puns!! Actually, I knew you liked them, because I usually see you laughing after I tell them. Making you laugh in Lang is something I'm grateful for, actually, so I guess the whole thing goes full circle. That's probably profound or something, I can't tell because my brain isn't working all that well right now. Laughter too, is something we should all be grateful for, because it's the best human response mechanism, which reminds me of a great Calvin and Hobbes strip which I'm now looking up. Here's the relevant bit:
ReplyDeleteCalvin: Isn't it strange that evolution would give us a sense of humor? When you think about it, it's weird that we have a physiological response to absurdity. We laugh at nonsense. We like it. We think it's funny. Don't you think it's odd that we appreciate absurdity? Why would we develop that way? How does it benefit us?
Hobbes: I suppose if we couldn't laugh at things that don't make sense, we couldn't react to a lot of life.
Calvin: (after a long pause) I can't tell if that's funny or really scary.
Yay for relevancy! Okay I think I've said enough, thanks for liking my puns!
Connie: On categorizing and judging people, I do the exact same thing. With few exceptions, I can put and do put most of the people I know into groups, and this is the biggest determining factor in whether or not I like these people, it's definitely a sad way to function, but I feel like it's a necessary skill. Of course there are some people I know too much about to categorize, and some people I care too much about to categorize, and I think that's the saving grace of this kind of system; that it doesn't have to be applied to everyone, it can be withheld in special cases.
Garret- Looking at how you interpreted the last question, which is a different way than I did obviously, I should clarify something. I help people learn for the joy of seeing the moment when they understand, just about everything else is out of self-interest. That's kind of sucky I guess but whatever. I would agree with you that your best skills are social ones, dealing with situations appropriately. You're the kind of social butterfly I never could be.
ReplyDeleteDo I know what my talents are and do I utilize those talents? Well, probably not. I find myself mostly talent-less. I am okay at many things, but I don’t seem to be especially great at any one thing. Or nothing so obvious that I have found it yet. You could, perhaps, count my “way with kids” as a talent, but I never really thought of it as one. I think of it as more of a personality trait. I used to be really good at gymnastics and running, but after taking a break that spanned multiple years, I find myself yet again to be mediocre. Talent has always been a bit of a sore and depressing spot for me, because I honestly don’t feel like I’ve found it yet, and I feel as if I am running out of time to do so.
When I help someone, do I think “what’s in it for me?” I won’t lie. I am guilty of having done this before, but it isn’t always my reason. Sometimes I do things just to be nice-like holding a door open, helping someone understand something, cleaning up for my mom. If I’m being honest (and why stop now?) It really depends on what the task is and what sort of mood I’m in. Sometimes I just have an overwhelming desire to be helpful. Conversely, some days everything and everyone irritates me and I think “why should I help them-what’s in it for me?” I’d say that for me it’s a pretty even blend of the two.
George: I can definitely appreciate what you said about not getting hung up on things that you don’t have or never will-all that does is breed frustration and disappointment. What you said about nobody needing to change was sweet, though I don’t necessarily agree with you, I think it is a nice thought. I think that some people do need to change, for themselves. If you are unhappy with yourself and how you live your life, you definitely need to make some changes. Anyways, great response as always—your point of view is often refreshing.
Kendall: I think that lying is a part of life—especially teenage life. We all do it, whether we admit it or not, especially to our parents. I think part of the reason we lie to our parents is because we want them to think the best of us…or maybe we just don’t think they’d understand. Either way, I don’t think it is something we should worry ourselves about, unless it is getting you into trouble (more than just the harmless kind). I liked reading your responses to everything, definitely appreciate your blunt honesty!
Mimi: I am definitely grateful for the things that I have, but I don’t think that that is a sad thing. I mean, would it be better if we were all ungrateful and unappreciative? I think being grateful shows your appreciation! And I can definitely relate about being my own worst critic. Reading through some of the responses, it seems to be common to say that we don’t think of ourselves as full of talent. Maybe we are too modest…or perhaps just exceptionally untalented, in which case, I fear a bit for what the future will bring. Having a talent, or what seems to be a synonym “passion” seems to be one of the first and most important things we should find in life. I guess that’s an oops on our part…
The first question is only usually asked around Thanksgiving. 1. It's kind of "refreshing" in a way, to be asked at a different time of the year when you don't normally think of what you're grateful for. Now, back to the question. Every day before first period, my friends and I go to the same spot near the gym and we just laugh and talk before we depart to our classes. Though I haven't known them for as long as I would like to, it feels like I've known them forever. I'm incredibly thankful for my group of friends, and the fact that we all share one particular thing in common, we all love to laugh; another thing I'm thankful for. Every one of my friends has the ability to make me laugh and my school days would be incredibly boring without them. I probably wouldn't be where I am in regards to my school work, if it weren't for my parents. I'm constantly being pushed and motivated to improve my grades, and perform the best to my ability.
ReplyDelete2. Honesty is something we all have to face at least once a day. Every time we're asked a question, we have to face the tough decision of telling the truth, or lying. I consider myself a generally honest person. Sometimes, I tell the person what they want to hear, and that may include lying, if necessary. The other day I read that more times than not, people lie about their SAT scores. I can't say that I've ever done that, but the fact that people lie about something to make themselves look better is just an interesting idea.
3. I wouldn't change a lot of things about myself, but the first thing that comes to mind is my work ethic. As Bobby stated about the argument the group of us had, I truly believe that doing more work than required is not important. I mentioned in last week's blog that in the end, the grade is all that matters. If I get an A on an assignment that took me 20 minutes to do, and someone else get's an A when they took an hour, what's the difference? I refuse to give in to the notion that because I procrastinate, my work won't be as good as if I start it three weeks ahead of time. The fact is, even though I may start an essay a night, or two nights, ahead of time, doesn't mean that I haven't been thinking about what I want to write. For the, "This I believe" essay, I had my topic in my mind for a couple weeks. I had been thinking about what I was going to include since the topic was picked. My essay wouldn't have been any different had I started a week ago, rather than the night before. Another thing I'd change is my stubbornness. I'm arguably the most stubborn person I know, and it may hurt me in the long run. The thing is, outside from school, if I'm forced to do something, there's a less a chance of me doing it. If I'm told to do something, and I feel it doesn't have to be done right away, I'll get yelled at and told to do it immediately. I have my own beliefs, and refuse to change the,.
4. When Ms. Bunje first said we'd be having a talent contest after the AP test, I immediately started thinking about what I'm going to do when the time comes. I really don't have a standout talent. I don't think that excelling at playing xbox counts as a talent. If I had to pick a talent, I'd say that being able to discuss anything sports related. Is it a talent, per say? No. But I extremely enjoy talking about sports, and can recall numerous statistics and records.
5. I deeply enjoy helping others. Starting in 7th grade, and lasting until freshmen year, I volunteered at a horse farm that helped handicapped people ride the horses, in hopes of therapeutic relief. I'll admit, I didn't enjoy going to the farm, but the fact that the people who're being helped had smiles on their faces made me like helping them, and I wanted to keep doing it. Their smile made me smile, and I quickly lost any thoughts that made me want to leave.
Bobby: The swearing part is right, you have a potty mouth dude. I never got the notion that you were obnoxious. You're a good kid, and unless you're obnoxious in your own home, I never see it.
ReplyDeleteDom: I like how you stated that you do something that most people don't: constantly remind themselves what they're thankful for. To be honest, I don't do it enough, and I could/should probably mention that in my blog post.
Amber: Reading your second paragraph was quite amusing. The fact that you purposely contradicted yourself was pretty funny and it made your post that much more enjoyable.
Sometimes when this blog gets posted, I find myself really puzzled with how I should answer. This is partly because the questions often require some thought and partly because I’ve been realizing more and more that in certain circumstances I care what people think about me a lot. Now, I cant quite remember what I wrote on the blog that basically asked that and to be honest I don’t really feel like checking, but I do care what people think sometimes more than others. One of those times is when I write this blog, which I know isn’t the point and the blog isn’t supposed to be for judging, but I also know that there’s no way for me to defend my position. Also because I’m pretty confident that none of you would, to my face and outside the environment of the classroom, challenge my opinion. This is mostly because it would be a waste of time and also because you probably don’t care that much. But that’s not the part that matters, the part that matters is that for even just one second you have judged me silently and added that one token of disagreement with me to your bank of things that you unintentionally collect for me and everyone else you interact with.
ReplyDeleteAll this to say basically: I am very uncomfortable with my voice as a writer. I realized this yesterday when Ciara read her occasional paper; it was really good, like really good. I found it entertaining and descriptive and so accurately beautiful and just made me happy to listen too. But it made me realize that she and a lot of other in our class like Connie, Schuyler, Matt, Nyamekye, George, and Cole who all feel like have really distinguishable voices which I am very jealous of, but at the same time makes me very self-conscious about my writing. So anyway I know that wasn’t the question but 2. was “Am I Honest” and I decided that honest in this situation means to be honest with yourself not necessarily about telling lies perse. Which then led me to really wanting to share my opinion on writing blogs so I figured I would. To answer the question, yes I am honest. I know my limits and I know I can way the pros and cons of a situation which in turn helps me to under the context and deeper meaning of a situation.
3. I asked my mom “If someone were to ask you ‘If you could change anything about yourself what would it be’ and you replied nothing would it sound pretentious?” She said it would be. So with that in mind I could probably be a little more humble, and a little less short tempered. But even so both of these qualities have a time and a place, so maybe I could change my timing on thing and applying my reactions to things that’d be good. For example being a little self-absorbed is quite common and quite necessary as a performer. Why? Because almost no one is on your side unless they’re related or being paid. Basically everyone else is there to tell you how not good enough you are (that is if your even remotely talented) or how exceptionally bad you are (if your bad). The only thing to protect you from this is an ego, because at the end of the day you are playing on a team of three me, myself, and I.
4. Which brings me to this question. My talents are undoubtedly in the arts, and especially recently I have been utilizing them to their full extent. There’s not much more I think I can say for them except that. As far as relationships with people, everything’s perspective right? I happen to think I’m pretty good at human relations except when I’m not.
ReplyDelete5. Absolutely not, I don’t think I ever thought this when doing something for someone else. Do I think that doing things for others increases when I do things for them? Yes, and I don’t think its unreasonable for me to ask you to indulge my itch when I scratched yours yesterday. And these are not the same thing, because I may not necessarily be near the person whose back I scratched yesterday.
Going back to the first question, I’m grateful for people who think similarly to me. This is so important to me because I really feel like communication and I, earlier today, found someone who thinks very similarly to me and we avoided some very awkward and possibly devastating situations because we literally were on the same page, which makes me happy because this person is really important to me. I’m grateful for people who are genuine with their feelings and who appreciate what others do for them. Like kids that value their parents and friends who are patient and supportive. I’m grateful for role models who don’t forget the little people. This one I realized today. In few words I almost had a heart attack today from meeting four Broadway actors and they were so nice and answered my questions and let me sing for them and I was so star-struck that, like I said, literally I almost died. If your really interested you can ask Monica Sult, Julia Weiss, Mikey Black, or Aaron Downs about my reactions and behavior at todays events they would gladly tell you about how ridiculous I was being, but it was so worth it.
Rachel: Th first two sentences of your blog response were so honest, I really loved it. Not only but it was believeable. Which is something my acting coach would say. But I've started to realize how closely successful acting and lang really are.
ReplyDelete1. I can't think of anything I'm especially grateful for. I appreciate all of existence, sure, many people do, but I don't believe in throwing a tarp over the universe and labeling it 'gratitude', because I think gratitude has to be more specific than that.
ReplyDeleteI'd limit gratitude to human interaction, things that are not static like the seasons or the rotations of the earth. These things I can be grateful for. The insides of people's heads and the effects they have on society I can be grateful for. I just can't think of any right now.
2. I'm about as honest as I like. I lie when lying suits the situation, but it's not often you're backed into a corner with lying as a better alternative than a kind of a truth. Besides, it's really hard to say anything perfectly truthful without any sort of bias or embellishment, so I don't try. On the other hand some people say I am very blunt. I like that, so I don't mind. I can't stand it when people dance around the bush, it just irks me.
3. There's probably a lot I need to change about myself but I have no idea what it is. My close friends say I've barely changed at all since they've known me, so I don't know how I'd do it now. I don't think I'll last very well in the real world as is, but oh well. Burn that bridge when you come to it.
4. I'm a good writer, I guess. Most people like me, I think. Or at least they don't dislike me, which is good enough. Is that a talent? Other than that I don't know. I don't associate talent in any other particular ability with me. Maybe I actually have no talents and I'm successful because I haven't realized it yet. Oh well. Time rights all mistakes.
5. If I'm helping someone then by my own definition I'm not considering what's in it for me. So even if, in a technical sense I'm 'helping' someone, if I'm thinking about what's in it for me then it's not helping in my book.
Nick: I dont think i've ever commented on your blog before but I thought your post was enjoyably cliche, which was surprising I didnt think you were really into cliches. It was unexpected.
ReplyDeleteSchuyler: number one i love you. Two I really enjoy that you can say so little and yet so much.
ReplyDeleteRachel: With all of your statements I can agree that you are correct or that you could be that way. That is except with what you would change. You are smart, you are funny, you are compassionate, and I don’t think that you give yourself enough credit on the friend field. I’m beyond happy that you put that you are a good listener. I agree completely. I envy that about you, honest and truly. I wish that I was less of a talker and more of a listener. Since I am a talker though, I stick with it and I tend to listen to people who listen more than they talk so that I can get a better understanding of things. If you don’t think you are a talker I think that you should do the opposite of me and find a person who is a talker who can give your ideas a voice.
ReplyDeleteTo Ted: I envy your ability to BS when you write. You’re just really good at pretending that you understand what is wrong. If you applied that more to when you have to get on the more social side of things, try to utilize that talent to your advantage!
To Bobby: I think that you have a better talent then the ones you put. Your music goes under this category, but you are a performer. You might not have done drama in a while, but anything that you do in life that involves an audience, no matter how small, is performing. I personally feel that you are good at it. SO add that on to your list.
To Patrick: You are really good at drawing; you have definitely picked the best career that fits your talents. Sadly enough, I have no talents, and I’m serious I think I have no talents, I’m talentless. I think I’m oddly jealous of how you know exactly what you want to do when you grow up and I am clueless, actually worse than clueless. I really admire how you’re not nescient of your goals and you have them set out on a table, start and finish are already plotted, the journey is the only thing missing, I don’t think I even have a table yet.
ReplyDeleteTo tom: As I already have told you, I believe lying is natural, you think it’s wrong. That’s where we differ either way, I know where you are coming from with this issue of lying, all I have to say is lying itself is essential to survival and that lying is many of times innate in our personality.
To Cole: I like you have a particular taste in music; apparently we have some of the same tastes. While I’m proud that every band and/or song I have shown to you, you liked. I did not put what I am grateful for because I’m not really grateful for a lot of things so thankful fits, good blog.
Olivia: I disagree with saying that you would change nothing about yourself is pretentious. Of course, it can be pretentious if presented in a manner that shows condescension. However, I believe that if a person is comfortable with themselves, they can safely say that there is nothing they can change without pretension. It's a fine line to walk, but I don't believe that self confidence and self acceptance do not directly translate to pretentiousness.
ReplyDeleteNick: I really, REALLY, really don't want to bring today's argument onto the blog. So I won't. From someone who has been in your position a million times before, just try it. That's my suggestion. Next time we have an essay, write it early, spend some time revising it. See how much better you feel the night before it's due. Try it for me big guy.
Kendall: I enjoyed your honesty in your blog. I'm not judging you at all, because I feel it's very easy for me to relate to where you've been. Especially with lying to parents about all those bad things. I definitely think that it's part of being a teenager.
I know that I’m grateful for more things than I might realize. I could make a long list of things I’m truly grateful for, but I know that much of the list would be things for which I do not express my gratitude. Some of the essentials that would be near the top of my list include my family, my friends, my teachers, and anything else that influenced me for the better. Within each of these things I’m grateful for come subcategories. I am grateful for my parents’ love and all that they provide for me. They don’t just provide my “needs,” but many of my “wants.” I would not say I’m spoiled because I have been taught the importance of hard work and actually earning whatever it is that I want. It is always harder for one to see the flaws of oneself than it is to see the flaws of others, and so my brothers have helped me to see some of the flaws that we share. They are not bad people; they just have a few flaws that I’ve detected. I either do not point out the flaws to them or I mention it passingly to them. Either way, I help myself become a better person. I’m thankful for my friends because they help me to see what I can enjoy in life, especially as a teenager. I see high school drama with the animosity between my fellow students and pure blind hatred, but my friendships form a sort of bubble where I can see everything but feel distant. My friends also give me the motivation to do well in school. I am grateful for my teachers because, like my friends, the encourage me to challenge myself academically. I’ve heard bad things about other high schools with unskilled teachers and concentrated fights. While Oakcrest is not perfect, I’m more than grateful to be part of the student body.
ReplyDeleteHonesty isn’t something I struggled with much growing up, but after being caught in a few I had learned my lesson. Lying just wasn’t worth it. Since I was taught that lying was wrong the resulting guilt came naturally, which was unbearable. Of course, I don’t usually have anything to lie about in the first place, so I don’t need to lie. In general I am would say I’m an honest person because I don’t tend to lie to people, I tend to have good intentions, and I stay by my word. If I don’t think I can keep a promise, I won’t make it. I can’t think of any promise extreme enough where I won’t consider it, but I’d rather not let someone down.
No one is perfect, and I think of myself far from it. Maybe that in itself is one of my flaws: I have low self-esteem. The red needle on my self-esteem-o-meter is not pointing to E, but it’s never pointing to F. There is a fine line between confidence and arrogance, and I try not to cross it by staying far away from it. One thing I need to change about myself is finding a healthy amount of confidence without presenting myself as arrogant. This may be something I just want to change about myself, but I also need this because a boost in confidence can make or break some situations. I don’t want to blame genetics but my German side of the family tends to be choleric in nature, and I always try to wax my patience. I’m a lot more tolerant and patient than I used to be, but it’s always a work in progress for me. Also, I would like to improve my writing, because it is by far my worst liability as a student.
I don’t know exactly what my talents are. I’m a good student, I play an instrument, I play tennis. I see a talent as something that one is exceptionally good at, and I’m not exceptionally good at anything. The only “talent” I have is being a good student and I don’t even compare to some of my friends. I don’t know if I need more introspection or what, but I just don’t think I excel in anything where I’m better than most people. I’m not trying to be humble; I just don’t see any talents. Sorry that this part of my blog post is lacking.
ReplyDeleteI’m all for helping people. When someone asks for my help in academics I don’t hesitate to give it my best. Even if I can’t help at all, I’ll give some sort of attempt. I don’t care if I’m being watched by other students or if I’m alone with whoever I’m helping: I will try to help. Of course I ask myself if I will benefit in anyway, sometimes. It’s just human nature. If this thought occurs to me I’ll consider answering it. If I hear my conscience say “You won’t benefit in anyway,” I will push it away because the satisfaction of helping someone WILL benefit me. I hate when my conscience lies to me. What I really want to know is what he or she gets out of it. If he or she benefits, then that satisfies me. So yeah, I guess I do wonder what’s in it for me.
To Tom: I thought you might go for the paradoxical path when describing your honesty. Also, you call computer graphics class a “front row seat to a great show”? I hardly think so. You don’t explode with anger but you constantly comment about them while I completely ignore them. Helping people is one of my favorite things to do too.
To Cole: One thing I didn’t mention which you touched upon is being grateful to be alive! I love living, and am grateful for it. I did mention that I play an instrument, but like you I’m not really dedicated enough. I wish I was more dedicated because I like playing my instrument: I just don’t like putting the work into improving. People think I’m funny, but mostly just people I already know. So I don’t know if that would help me make acquaintances.
To Garret: I don’t know if you meant to do it, but I think you basically said you’re a good liar. I agree that there can be situations where white lies are favorable, but sometimes distinguishing those situations can be difficult. I like how you’re open about being impulsive, and while it can be a liability at times it definitely contributes to your personality. It can be a bit upsetting if an act goes unnoticed, but as a million people have probably already told you, recognition is not the point. However, if you want to get noticed for some good deed, I think that’s good incentive to, well, do a good deed!
Hey, hey Schuyler, I'm commenting on your blog now. No, this does not retract my snide comment.
ReplyDeleteOkay, I really don't have much to respond to. You are pretty honest, I can't knock that down. And you have taught me to not beat, er, I mean, dance, around the bush as much.
And to clarify for people, I mean the whole anorexic comment thing doesn't happen that much. It's been a while, and it doesn't even bother me as much as I may have led on. So no need to pull out the pitchforks and torches, but thank you all for caring :)
Amber: I’m always so honest when I schmooze though. Schmoozing doesn’t come naturally if I have to lie about it. It also doesn’t come naturally if I happen to think “Oh goddammit this is schmoozing isn’t it now I have to act like I’m not schmoozing again.” So much work goes into it. It’s incredible. Anyways, your blog was entertaining and long, as always. Dialogue always spices things up a bit.
ReplyDeleteJames: That wasn’t even a pun. What are you talking about. Go sit in a corner and think of what you’ve done. Anyways, I think most people share your shitty work ethic. Procrastination is unfortunately a natural part of being human. Sucks, doesn’t it? Also, you should pick up the trombone again. And then I can say something or other about the good times we had playing the banana song or whatever it was.
Emily: I’d like to thank you for your flattering comment. Actually, “Life, the Universe, and Everything” is a title to a Douglas Adams book in the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy series. So I’m not totally original. The other lines were mine though, so it’s okay.
Short answers:
ReplyDelete1. Art.
2. No.
3. I need to manage my time in a more efficient manner.
4. Yes and yes.
5. No.
All of these answers can be supplemented by the following anecdote. Today, my drama posse and I took a brief hiatus from the daily grind of schoolwork and instead travelled to the Big Apple to attend Wicked. Wicked is based on a novel of the same name written in 1995, which is a sort of Wizard of Oz fan-fiction that tells the tale of Glinda the Good Witch and the Wicked Witch of the West in pre-Dorothy era Oz. It was magnificent. The combination of storytelling, music, effects and dialogue made for the most impressive show I’ve yet witnessed, and the quality of the talent which I’ve come to know as the quintessential representation of Broadway is reflected in the excellent acting skills of the cast. Art, especially anything involving the performing arts, is the focal point of my life. Not only do I love to sing, dance and act; I know I have some valuable talent in the singing, dancing, and acting departments. There’s nothing I look forward to more than showing off my talents to others, which – while admittedly shallow – is the best method I know of with which I can make people happy. I like making people happy; it makes me feel better about myself. I have an uncanny notion of sympathy as well: I tend to say ‘sorry’ when tragic things happen, even if those events are of no fault of mine. My instincts have always told me that when someone needs help or reassuring or guidance or even a compliment, then it’s my job to make their day as enjoyable and guilt-free as possible. That’s what the Witches of Oz wanted as well: for everyone to be happy and for the Wizard to tell the truth to his constituency. In this case, the phrase “The truth will set you free” takes on a slightly different connotation, one that implies that not only is honesty beneficial to the self, but it is also beneficial to everyone around the person who chooses to be honest, sympathetic, and carefree.
As of recent I’ve been grateful for everything. Like I said in a past blog, I really do love my life, even if it isn’t the best. My love is composed of being appreciative towards everything and everyone I’ve ever encountered. As Chuck Palahniuk has said “Nothing of me is original, I am the combined effort of everyone I’ve ever known.” I’m really trying to like myself as a person, and in order to do so I believe I have to like, in some way, everything around me. This is a really selfish answer, I’m realizing. “I’m grateful for everything because it helps me like myself.” Is what it sounds like I’m saying. What I’m trying to say is that for every feeling I’ve ever encountered, I am forever in debt to those that have caused those emotions. I am forever grateful.
ReplyDeleteIt’s really hard for me to be honest, I’ve realized. Not to say that I lie all the time, that’s not the case. I’m actually extremely forthright, and have no problem speaking my mind or stating things as they are. I would appreciate it if everyone was blunt with their feelings, and so I try to practice that myself. However, sometimes my thoughts and feelings are contradictory. Well, most of the time. It’s because of this I can exclaim what I think and act a certain way, but inside that’s not exactly how I feel. To me, being honest is being true to yourself, but when I’m always at a constant battle internally, how honest can I be?
What do I need to change about myself? Gosh, everything? Nothing? I try not to think about this that much because throughout the years even if I have consciously tried to change myself, I always resume to the same core being I’ve always been. It seems like no matter how much I try, it never works. But, uhm, things I’d like to change... How often I procrastinate Lack of willpower Lack of motivation How often I criticize others I really don’t give other people enough credit I’m a snob I get obnoxious a lot of the time, and it really annoys me
When I think of talent and me, I can really only think of guard. That’s one thing I seem to be naturally good at with, and with very little effort I improve. I feel like that’s not the talent that’s being referred to though. I’m good at caring about people. I can isolate myself from others in order to sever actual relationships from forming though, so I guess I’m really not utilizing that talent to its greatest extent. In my defensive, I think I do it to avoid consequences I have faced previously when I began to care extensively about someone. I’m good at thinking. I’m bad at conveying my thoughts accurately. Sometimes I think I’m a decent writer. I have yet to write anything that argues a substantial point and hits a large audience. Yeah, I suck at this whole talents thing. Totally not doing it right.
I actually love helping people. Sure, sometimes I may be a little apprehensive, but in the end when they thank me and are genuinely appreciative of what I’ve done, it’s the greatest feeling. Even if they aren’t thankful, I feel better knowing I did something right. I don’t think “what’s in it for me” because I already know. I already know I am going to feel fulfilled, and if there’s some other positive product coming my way, awesome. If not, I’m still coming out a winner.
Cole: Your first sentence had me laughing, even if it wasn’t supposed to be funny. I just thought “He would.” But even I, saying I’m grateful for everything and whatnot, can take things for granted on a daily basis. As Connie stated, she can have her moments of complaining, but when reflecting, we truly are grateful. I think as long as there’s a moment where you can identify being grateful, it makes up for all the time you took so much for granted. I also totally agree with the thought “Well, I’ve always believed that there isn’t a purpose, but we should enjoy life anyways.” That’s exactly how I’ve been truing to live.
ReplyDeleteDominique: I like that you were able to cite your creed in your answer. I think it shows that the effects of these blogs are accumulating and showing themselves through the people we have become this year. I also appreciate your honesty in admitting your lack of content with your physical image. I know how it feels to getting used to not liking how you look, and thinking about it, it’s a terribly tragic thing to feel. Hopefully it will pass.
Jhon: I love how you word things. “So I tell the truth, I most likely do, I mean what’s truth, truth itself is subjective, there is no basic truth.” I read this sentence a good five times. I can’t get over it. Gosh, I’m bad at the whole critiqueing comments. Mine are always so positive. OH WELL.